>But first kick the blob in what you expect to be it's crotch, to make sure it is nothing living. :drink

> approach blob and prod it

You step cautiously up to the blob, and hesitantly poke it with one finger. The surface is soft, and pliable, and your figner makes a dent. Stepping back, you watch the blob warily, one eye on your flashlight.

> And, if it feels like a blob, jump onto it and fall asleep. But first kick the blob in what you expect to be it's crotch, to make sure it is nothing living

You debate about taking a nap on the blob, but the thought of being eaten alive by it when it revives from your stupendous flashlight throw makes you debate about throwing up instead. You decide to kick it in the crotch first though. You heave your leg back, and strike forward in a hefty kick. You miss the blob completely, and fall backwards. Your foot seems to have caught the edge of the blob though, and you are promptly covered in a white sheet.

>Throw sheet off.

>And use it to scare it off by looking like a ghost.

>Throw sheet off.

Standing, spluttering and puffing, you throw the sheet off. It tangles around your feet, and you fall again, flat on your face. Somehow you manage to grab your flashlight again.

>And use it to scare it off by looking like a ghost.

It occurs to you to dress up in the sheet like a ghost, (to fool any other ghosts?), so you do so. Unfortunately, you can't see anything now.

>Take sheet off and fight the blob.

> Wake up.

> perform an exotic strip-tease for the blob, complete with lapdance

>Take sheet off and fight the blob.

You whip off the sheet, and in a courageous display of bravado, swing your flashlight at the blob. It connects solidly, and again you swing. It takes you a few seconds to realize you're going medieval on a sofa.

> Wake up.

You pinch yourself, but to no avail. Alas, you're really here, in a haunted house, beating the stuffing out of a sofa.

> perform an exotic strip-tease for the blob, complete with lapdance

The oddness of your situation prompts you to begin a stripdance. Halfway through taking your shirt off, you realize you don't know what a lapdance is. Ashamed, you cloth yourself quickly.

> Look around

You are standing in the middle of an array of blobs, it is apparent to you now that they are merely furnishings covered in sheets. Why you didn't see more than one before is puzzling, and somewhat freaky. To the south is the direction you came from.

>do a dramatic dive South.