...agents of the Black Dragon Empire, who later claimed that the reason he was viscerated was because...

. . .he'd eaten a rather bad cheese sandwhich sold to him at a coalition deli. This fantasy sandwhich was later revealed to have contained cheese, bread, arsenic and several large deposits of . . .

...nuclear waste in the abnormally large bread. This bread was designed specifically to kill Kraken, but this Jedi got to it first. In their continuous (sp?) attempts to kill their leader (is he their leader?) these agents next tried...

... mixing Milkshakes and Azguard's together. Supprisingly, this produced a Renford, which didn't answer any questions at all...

. . .unsure of how to handle the Renford, the agents released him into the wild. Instead of coexisting peacefully with his natural surroundings, he instead went on a booze-fuelled binge wearing nothing but . . .

...Ahnk's recently cleaned thong, in which several washings were needed because...

.. of the copious beer steins, er stains. Meanwhile, on the other side of the world,

..the rulers were found to be tuna cans. Armed with Miracle Whip and some Ritz crackers, the people began...

eating their leaders, but then the GHOST OF BEUROCRATS (sp?) came. The people's horrible fate for eating their leaders was to...

... lick golf shoes clean all day for six days. They would have had to have done seven days, but lucky for them ...