... I didn't touch that child. Hey, how old is your kid, counciler? To which the counciler replied...

"I don't have any kids, I just make eyes, just eyes." To which Michael said...

"...What do you store the eyes in, if you have no children?" The shocked court reporter gasped ...

...As it was revealed that Bill Gates and Michael Jackson were infact granted the powers of the Departed Monkey Lords, and that Jedi. And with Johnny Stalin now taking over from his father...

. . .they symbolically painted the town, and subsequently all of russia, red. After they ran out of red paint they decided to. . .

... kill people and use blood as a substitute. Unfortunatly....

Jackson and Gates stopped them by exploding, killing all the characters and thus ending this plot arc. In other news.

... it has been found that dark-side diplomats, in diplomatic meetings, dont really do anything serious at all, instead they...

...eat pie in vast quantities. A recent survey of pies has proven...

.. that pies are the funniest thing known to inteligent life, and that cream pies are the most populer type for...