<font color="lightblue">Amalia sat on the floor within one of the many empty inside training areas of the Academy.

She was not in the room for training purposes though, no, she was in there to think, in silence.


...and she was also in there to write.


A pad of paper sat on her lap, all blank pages of paper thus far, except for one sheet. That sheet was already filled with writing just about, there was about a quarter left on the page.

Amalia's hand was hard at work as she thoughtfully wrote her words across the paper.

After an hour or so later, she had finished.

....And the letter was sent....


Leia's office, twenty minutes later...

A serving droid suddenly seemed to show up from out of no where, obviously it had been given directions there.

"Master Solo! Master Solo! Here, this is for you," it exclaimed, rather loudly, it obviously was a droid that did not get out much and was happy to be doing duties.

The droid handed Leia an envelope, it had only her first name addressed on it, and it was in Amalia's handwriting.

Leia gave the droid a warm smile, thanking it. The droid seemed to be pleased by this kind offering of thanks, for it seemed to speak with a tone of excitement once again.(lucky droid)

"Oh you are most welcome, Master Solo!"

The droid quickly went away, and if it had had any feelings, it would have been rather happy.

..and Leia was left alone once again, with the letter.</font>

Leia fingered the envelope she had just received uncertainly. She knew for a fact that the letter was from Amalia, and didn't know what to think of it. Amalia... just did not send letters like this.

Leia opened the envelope, and pulled out the pages within....

The letter read....


Dear Leia,


As you begin to read this, I am sure you wonder what this letter is all about. Perhaps you wonder why I am instead, not there to greet you. The answer is simple, I can't. Although I want to be there, and I will be, but this letter greets you first.

There is much that I wish to discuss with you, but I simple can not put what I wish to say into words, well not so easily face to face. On paper, well, I thought I might give it a try.


I thought about your presence quite often while away, I thought of all the things I wanted to say, but never did. I even thought of the things I could have said, but did not.

I know our times together have not often been as good as they could have been, and I sometimes wish I could take those times together back and redo them all again. Then I begin to think of how silly that would be, because the bad also belongs with the good.

You and I have been through so much together, not just as friends, but as comrades, as Master and student. I guess, what I am trying to say is, I would not wish to trade any of that, not for anything in the world. I know it may sound silly, or strange, or maybe nothing at all, but everything you or I do together, it is special to me, holds great value for me.

Through my experiences with you, I have learned so much. You've given me a great deal. You've helped me grow as a person and as a student.

Life had been hard for me before I came to Naboo. I left Bakura, not knowing where I would go or what I would do. However, it was fate that brought me to Naboo. I had always secretly wanted to become a Jedi, but I had never believed in myself enough to become one. However, when I met you, you made it so easy for me to believe. I can remember how kind, and warm you were to me.

I remember how shy and withdrawn I was, but your presence made me feel invited. You took it upon yourself to speak with me, and you didn't have to.

Then within just my first few hours there, I come to find that I was not just surrounded by regular people, but they were people I hoped to secretly aspire to be like, Jedi. Yes, there were the Gungans too. I had always thought them too hyper for my tastes though, my real interest rested with the Jedi. I felt like I had struck rich.

Naboo was just supposed to be a pit stop for me, but it turned out to be so much more than that. Naboo became my life, and so did becoming a Jedi.


I still remember my training days, Leia. I remember how hard I had to struggle to get through just the simpliest of training tasks. Yet there you were, each and everytime I would mess up. You were there to help me. You would not let me go on until I got each task done correctly. So many times I had wanted to give up, but you never let me, and you made me believe that I could do anything.

You made a dream of mine come true, Leia, and I will never be able to Thank You enough for that. I'm glad, not just glad, but so very greatful, thankful, honored and proud to have you as my teacher.

I don't really know what has made me write this all down on paper, I guess my trip opened me up a lot, got me to thinking a lot. Got me to thinking about the things I never said, but have always thought.

Leia seemed to pause for a moment as she pulled the first page of the letter back to read on toward the second page.


Anyway, these are all things I think you need to know. Things that are rather important to me.

I'm sure you have, by now, figured out the whole Postcognition thing, and if not, well, you'll find out now.

Just before I exited the council room the day I was speaking with you, on the day just before I was supposed to leave for my trip, I felt your presence.

...And it was a feeling unlike anything I had ever felt before. Never was it a feeling I had ever expected to come from you, well, when it concerned me, anyway. I knew that feeling was meant for me.

Anger, my own Master, angry at me. Such a feeling tore me apart to no end, and I could not help it. I know why it affected me more, because I had to leave that way. You were the last I would see before I left.....

Leia....I had not planned on returning. I did not feel that I had a reason to. All the things that I had worked so hard in gaining for myself, all seemed to be falling apart, one by one. My world seemed so lost, so empty. I felt as if the life I had created for myself was just barely there, hanging by just a small thread.

That is how I had thought, it is what I assumed, but it was not the truth.

I hade wanted you to help me that day in the council room, you'll probably never know how much. However, my ability to be stubborn got in the way, and instead, I assumed of all the things you would say. I tried to place myself within your presence.

Amazingly, as I found myself in my quarters, preparing to leave that day, I realized the error I had made in assuming as to how you would react to me. I don't know why I had caught it, maybe it had been the way you looked at me, I don't know. It was something..and I just knew I hade made a mistake.

Then when I returned home, I took a few days to reflect on my own. Then came time for me to face reality again, picking back up right where I had left off in life.

So that is the reason why you found me in the council room this morning. I could not go on with that feeling. The feeling of not knowing what had mad you so angry with me.

I must admit though, I had been rather hurt by the anger, but that was not what ended up hurting me most. What hurt me most was that you had kept the truth from me. You had kept your feelings at bay, and I felt lied to, I felt betrayed.


For me, it was another mistake learned, because I know so many times I have left you in the dark, and I've pushed you away. I never did this to hurt you though, you have to know that, I want you to know that. I was afraid, scared.

The third page was not far behind as Leia flipped again.

I have bonded with you so much, not just as Master and student, but as friends. It just would simply hurt me to no end not to have you hear me and understand me, because I want that so badly. I've known you for far too long, and I simply can't see you not hearing me and understanding me.

We're supposed to be close, and the not understanding only seems to confuse me because I simply do not get how such a thing could happen between two people who are supposed to be so close.

I don't think you know just how much I want to be able to turn to you and speak to you about anything and everything. The good and the bad, though I'd take the good over it all.

I can't look to you and not see the person that I want to turn to. I just can't imagine you not being the person for whom I turn to for support, strength, understanding, a voice of reason, all the things a friend should be. It just seems so cruel for me to see you as any other way.

You speak of that trip to Endor, and how it changed your life. How it was the best thing that ever happened to you, not just once, but at other times as well....You had help along the way.

....and you know how happy I am for you, but you don't know how much I wish that you would look at me. Just to look at me and to tell me what good I've been to you, To let me know that you've not forgot me, and who I am.

I know it is silly for me to say that, but I don't like hearing how someone else has done right by you, when I am here, and you never once mention the good I've done.

I needed to hear that from you. You're my teacher. My friend. I guess I just needed reassurance, and I always secretly hoped that you would give it to me.

Not just reassurance for my work, but to know that what I offered to you as a friend, that all of that means something to you, and that it always will. I want to know I guess because, I almost feel like I've been replaced. You speak so fondly of other things, why not me too?

So what is left to say? I'm not sure. However, I do know that you deserved to read all of what is on these pieces of paper. These words were placed on this piece of paper with much thought and consideration, even before they actually found themselves placed onto the paper.

I will give you some time to consider what I've wrote, think, do whatever you need to, on your own. Tomorrow we will discuss it.

The letter ends.

<!--EZCODE ITALIC START--> And that was that...<!--EZCODE ITALIC END-->

A days' worth of pent up frustration suddenly doubled caused Leia's hand clenched into a fist around the bunch of papers, crumbling them. Her hand went limp, and the crumbled bunch of papers fell to her desk with a soft rustling noise.

She gave them no second glance as she left her office, her work done for the day. She would think about it in a while.

Her office door slid shut behind her. The soft sound it made as it closed caused Leia to pause, and turn around to look at it.

On impulse, she moved over to the keypad on the wall next to the door, and in a series of quick and complex keyings she had changed the code on the door, so that only she would be able to get in... for the moment.

Clearing her mind of all troubles and thoughts for a blissful few minutes as she walked back to her quarters, Leia realized just how tired she still really was.

A long, hot shower would be nice, and then she could hop in bed...

For some odd reason, the thought seemed so appealing Leia actually smiled.

She had reached the door to her quarters. Bumped into it, actually. She was jarred back into the present world again.

As soon as Leia set foot in her quarters, she didn't remember the shower, or even laying down in bed to go to sleep, all she remembered was waking up the next morning to someone ringing the door chime....

..It was Leia's aide, Teika. She'd come to Leia's office early today, hoping to get some paperwork that she had left on Leia's desk. She was surprised when she punched in the original code to unlock the door, only to find that the door would not open.

She thought it odd that the code had changed, but perhaps she could get Leia to change it.

...And so it was that Teika found herself at Leia's door.

The door chime rang three times before Leia actually heard it, and when Leia opened the door, a slight look of surprise crossed her face, almost as if she had been expecting someone else to come to her door.

It was Teika who spoke first.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to disturb you. It's just that I left some paperwork on your desk that you wanted me to look over. I guess I got distracted, what, with the re-scheduling and all. Anyway, I would get it myself, but I already tried, the code doesn't seem to be working. Could you maybe get the paperwork for me and then I'll be on my way again."




Amalia's quarters...

Amalia lay in bed, restlessly tossing and turning in her sleep. She was having some type of dream, and apparently, not a very good one. She was mumbling as well, sweat drenched her face and hair.

"No!...Noooo!...Noooooo..Leia!"

She'd been having this same dream for several nights in a row now, and it always seemed to have the same outcome.

Leia and Amalia would be climbing up some type of large mountain type structure.

..But what was so odd about this dream was that Amalia could never see any of her other sorroundings, except for when she reached the end of her dream. It would be just her and Leia, the rock, and the one piece of rope that they both used to climb the structure with. Amalia was always the one ahead, Leia, a few steps behind.

The dream always started in the same place too, with the two of them climbing the rock...in silence...Until they reached near the top of the structure, but it would always be Leia who would only speak, until the end of the dream.

...And it always ended the same way too.

Leia: "We're almost there...just a little bit more...We'll be....AHHHHHHHHHH!"

Then the rope breaks. However, it is never Amalia's part of the rope that breaks, it is Leia's.

Amalia would always know that it was not the rope itself that tore the rope apart, but something else, something mysterious.

..Then she would watch in horror, her dreams not allowing her to wake up, as Leia plunged to her death below.

The dream always ended that way, and Amalia would never see anything more, always the same dream.



The Jedi awoke the same way too. She would open her eyes, sit up, and breath heavily, sweat dripping from her.


All of the fear would eventually leave her, and she would try to figure out what the dream meant. However, today she seemed to really be dwelling on the dream, perhaps because she'd seen Leia yesterday and it made her think more of the dream.

It puzzled her, she did not understand the meaning of the dream. She did fear however that it was a sign of the future, of something to come.

However, she was wrong, the dream was more a means of a symbolism towards Leia and Amalia's friendship, but Amalia would figure that out for herself, eventually. Perhaps sooner than later....

Amalia got out of bed, only to do what she did every morning, shower, get dressed, and have breakfast, and she was usually so glad to start her new day too.

Not today though. No, not today because she was too busy dwelling on that damn dream of hers....

Leia reguarded Teika thoughtfully for a long moment.

Finally, she glanced over at the chrono on the wall. It was still rather early in the morning, and Leia decided she wasn't quite ready to face the world yet. 2 or 3 more hours' worth of sleep would do.

"It wasn't very important. I'll retrieve it for you later."

She smiled mirthlessly.

"...when it's actually time for me to be in office!"

The aide nodded, shrugged, and left, leaving Leia to her own devices.

And Leia had only one thing on her mind: Sleep.

She returned to her bed and sprawled out on it.

The day would start when her alarm rang... 2 hours and 27 minutes from now...

Twenty minutes later Amalia still found herself sitting at the table, trying to eat her morning meal.

She was not at all much hungry though, too much on her mind to even think about eating.

She found herself shoving her food away, giving the food a look of displeasure, as if it were something quite distasteful.

After a moment she found herself sighing at the table, though it was not at all like most tired, a way to relax kind of a sigh. No, this was more of a sad sigh, the kind that asked for a "somebody help me because I don't know what to do", kind of sigh.

Her thoughts seemed to go in many different directions.

I've tried so hard, and I've only got so far.

So don't try anymore.

What else am I supposed to do?? I've done everything else that I could think of, and it's not working.

You already know why this has turned out like it has. It's your own fault. Look at how you treat her.

I know, but I never did it on purpose. I just wanted her to know how I felt.

You're much too critical, and you're the one that's making this all fall apart.

Am I really? Is this all my fault? What about her? Most of this is my doing, but what about her? Has she even bothered to work it out with me?

How do you expect her to? You don't treat her all that well, you know you don't.

Yes I do. I'd bend over backwards for her. I'd do anything for her. I've proved that to her time and time over again.

Does she see that?

I'm not sure. I'm so confused by what I see, and also by what I don't see. I'm confused by the signals and what she shows me, and the things that she tells me.

What about her? Do you think she is not confused either?

How would I know? I don't. It's not as if she would tell me anyway.

You're something else. You talk of the things she does not do, but look at you. What do you tell her?

I do not tell her much of anything, and if I do, it is always the same thing that she has heard many times over.

That's right, and don't you think she grows tired of the same old thing?

Yes, I know because I do too.

So why do you do it then?

Because I know of no other way to speak to her. Because I do not know how to speak to her.

You're afraid, also scared. Why?

Because I do not want to lose her. I did not build this relationship to watch it all fall apart before me. I've come so very far with her, and that means a lot to me. She means a lot to me.

Have you ever told her how much she means to you?

I've tried.

Really? No, I don't think you have. I think you're too damn busy criticizing her all the time. It's no wonder she never looks at you anymore in the way that she used to. The way that you want her to.

So what am I supposed to do???

You have no idea. You have no idea which way is up nor which way is down, nor what is the right way and the wrong way of going about things. Heck if you know how to fix this anymore. Right?

Right.

Haha. You won't be happy until you've lost everything.

That's not what I want!

Yeah, you've already managed to gather that. So what, it's nothing new. You'll still lose, you always do.

No way, I won't let it happen! Not this way, not ever this way! I don't want to lose anymore!

Right. You just want your friend back, right? Was she ever gone though? Nah, she's just not as you remember. It feels like she is fading away, right?

Yeah. I don't like it. I miss her. I don't know what I mean to her anymore, and it scares me. It scares me to think that maybe she doesn't feel the same about me anymore.

Guess what?? How about you let her do some of the talking this time around? It's only fair, right? It's her turn. So let her speak. You've had your turn, now it's hers. So let her.

Ok.

Ok, then you know what you have to do then, right?

Yes.

Fine. Then do it.

....So that was what she would do. It was the only way now, at least in her mind. If there was another way, she would do that too.

Funny, she'd spent almost two hours thinking all of this up. She'd even learned the meaning of her dream. She'd figured that out earlier.

Now it was time to get a move on. Time for her to go see Leia.


Ten minutes later she was out the door and on her way to Leia's quarters, but who knew if she would even find Leia there....

<!--EZCODE ITALIC START--> Someone's knocking on the door again...<!--EZCODE ITALIC END-->

One of Leia's eyes cracked open so that she could look at the chrono. Her alarm hadn't even gone off yet.

<!--EZCODE ITALIC START--> Oh, I give up on this... sleep thing.<!--EZCODE ITALIC END-->

With a sigh she sat up in bed and threw her legs over the side.

Whoever was at the door knocked again.

Leia rose to her feet and padded to the door, not bothering to use the Force to reach out and identify the presence on the other side of the door.

She unlocked the door and opened it.

...there stood Amalia.

Leia blinked in surprise, as she had been expecting her aide or some other person who had come to pester her about work. She had to take a moment to compose herself.

"Ah, Amalia, uh, come in...."

She stepped back out of the doorway and dissapeared into the room beyond. Leia had grown so accustomed to Amalia's presence while she prepared for events, the day, or just in general, that without even throwing a second glance back at her guest she moved into the kitchen area and began to scrounge around. As she began to scrounge around for something to make a hot cup of caf in she addressed Amalia, who had come to lean against the doorway of the kitchen area, silently watching Leia.

"I wasn't expecting to see you today, and definitely not this morning... what brings you here?"

Something about the way Amalia carried herself this morning bothered Leia. Something was up, and it was about to come out.

Leia said nothing however aside from what she had already said, and in the meantime located an insulated metal mug and set it on the counter.

"Ah, Amalia, uh, come in...."

Obviously her presence was not an expected one.

Amalia did not seem at all bothered by Leia's rather busy and active presence. She'd become rather adapt to the way Leia did things, and she accepted this. Why? Because there were just some things you could not change, even if you had trouble accepting them.

This was Leia's lifestyle, not Amalia's, something, after much realization on Amalia's part, that she would and did accept. This was Leia.

Though Leia's attention was now mostly diverted away from Amalia, Amalia's attention seemed to be solely placed on Leia.


Amalia leaned against the doorway of the kitchen as she observed Leia through silent recognition.

There was something about Leia and what she was doing that made Amalia slightly disturbed. Not just this, but in the words that she had spoken to Amalia. It was the words more than anything else.

"I wasn't expecting to see you today, and definitely not this morning... what brings you here?"

Tomorrow had finally come....


....and here Amalia was.


To the question, Amalia said nothing, her gaze locked on Leia. Leia had finally taken note of the silence, for she stopped what she was doing to look in Amalia's direction.

It was when Leia looked up that she met eyes with Amalia. There was something in Amalia's eyes that hinted at disappointment, but the look quickly faded.

Because this time around it seemed Amalia was too proud. Too proud because she did not wish to make her friend feel bad, even though Leia should have felt just that way.


Leia had forgot about the letter. A letter that Amalia had worked so diligently on, all for Leia.

She knew that she could not just stand there, leaning against the doorway like that, not answering.

She could not lie either.

So instead, she pushed Leia toward the direction of remembering, though in an odd sort of way.

Amalia pulled herself away from the doorway, and what she was about to do was truthful, but had not been planned.

The Jedi found herself looking about Leia's living room area for a moment, looking here and there.

She had needed some stationary paper, anyway. She had run out, and had planned on getting some more paper, but why not now? Now was as good of a time as any, and she was sure Leia would not mind letting her borrow some...

"Um..I'm sorry..."

She was now facing Leia again, leaning against the doorway once more. She found herself getting nervous as she paused to ask for paper, she nervously laughed a little. She could not recall ever borrowing anything from Leia before. It was not the asking that made her nervous though, it was that she did not know just how Leia would react to her suggestive hint.

"...Do you have any stationary paper that I might be able to have? I promise to return the paper I borrow from you. I was needing to get some paper, and I was reminded of it just now. I ran out of paper while writing yesterday..."

There. That had not been so hard.

Leia had paused in what she was doing, having found her mug. She looked over at Amalia, and they locked stares with one another.

Leia knew why Amalia was here. It was time to discuss a few... issues. The letter yesterday had been the signal that this discussion had been impending. It had been a long time in coming.

Leia knew what she needed, wanted to say.

But she couldn't say these things. She didn't know how. She knew what she meant to say. But actually saying it was a whole different matter. Usually an extremely confident and open speaker, Leia found herself... stuck and indecisive.

<!--EZCODE ITALIC START--> I'm... I'm afraid...

What will she say, what will she do...?

What if I mess up?

What does she expect me to say?

I can't... I can't... I don't know how, what...<!--EZCODE ITALIC END-->

When the words that Leia did not speak in her hesitance did not roll off of her tongue, Leia saw dissapointment cross Amalia's face. Leia could see it strongest in her eyes. She averted her gaze just as Amalia turned away and walked out into the living area.

Leia trembled. <!--EZCODE ITALIC START--> What to do...?!<!--EZCODE ITALIC END-->

Meanwhile, Amalia had been and still was searching for something. Leia walked over to the doorway to watch her.

Then Amalia asked for stationary paper...

The anger flared, as it had back in the Council room the last time. Leia's upper lip twitched, she went flush, and her hands clenched into fists. Amalia was turned away from her and did not see the sudden physical change. The Force... was calm and cool still.

<!--EZCODE ITALIC START--> You still doubt me. You think I don't care enough to what, remember how you feel? Not want to talk about it, not care enough to talk about it?

You don't know how much that hurts.<!--EZCODE ITALIC END-->

When Amalia turned back to look at Leia, she was silent. Composed, calm and quiet. She did not answer Amalia's question, and made no indication that she intended to either.

Her gaze, as it fell upon Amalia, was a resigned one, devoid of hope.