"you didn't have....."

<!--EZCODE ITALIC START--> Have what? Ooookay....<!--EZCODE ITALIC END-->

Leia decided to push aside that thought momentarily, and doggedly continued on her track of thought, quite aware of the fact that Amalia was avoiding even looking in her general direction. Amalia was avoiding her question... time to press the subject a little.

"...It's a simple question, I am not accusing you of anything, only posing an innocent question. One of a likely few that cannot be passed over if we plan to make any headway here"

She turned to look at Leia, her face impassive.

"Did you expect me just to sit there? Watch as your presence pretends to be fully there, when it's only half way there, concentrating or wandering on something elsewhere other than on me? I do not understand the need for such a mind game, just what were you hoping to achieve?.."

She paused.

"..Whenever you address me, my presence is fully concentrated upon you. I do that for many reasons, mostly because I respect you, and I value your time, and the things you have to say. If I am busy, I simply don't address you. Why? Because you don't deserve to have just a part of my attention, you deserve to have all of my attention when it is being given to you..."

A soft expression crossed Amalia's face.

"Perhaps if I was to only give you half on my attention, maybe you just might understand why it disturbs me so much not to have all of your attention, and only have part of it...."

Amalia grew very silent again, but her eyes still remained on Leia. She wanted Leia to understand, and she knew she probably wouldn't and couldn't find the right words to give to Leia.

A serious look came about on Amalia's face.

"A person's presence when compared to an object or a task, when giving attention to it, it's not the same. Feelings are involved with a presence, perhaps sometimes too when a task is involved, depending if it involves another person when accomplishing that task. Anyway, what I am trying to say is, an object or a task can't project feelings or be disturbed if you give it half of your attention. It may become unfinished, and it would suffer in that respect...but a person will have lasting impacts, bad impacts, if not corrected."

Amalia looked down at her hands, not trying to avoid Leia, she just couldn't look Leia in the eye, afraid that Leia wouldn't give her recognition.

"I've become so used to you being so busy all the time, that I've just learned to let go..because for the simple fact, even when you do have time, you're only half way there, granted, that sometimes can't be helped, it's just who you are. However, it's not fair, not when you seek my attention, and I give it all to you, only to have you give half of your attention in return. I stop what I am doing, why? Simply because a presence is far more important to me than an object or a task could far ever be. Such things don't take on such as great of a value as a person...Such things can be put on hold. I guess it all depends on what you value more, Leia."

She looked back up, shrugging, a look of tiredness on her face.

"I really don't know what else I can say that would make you understand."

Amalia really did not want to have to make the speech she just made. She was tired. She had wanted to just let go and not say it at all because she didn't know what it would mean to Leia. She didn't want it to be said and then not have it understood. She had figured out, that keeping quiet was alright, it didn't make her disappointed and no one could tell if something bothered her, unless she said something, even then, things were not always resolved or taken into consideration, so she didn't feel that it was always good for her to speak.

Amalia did something just then, something she had never done when in the presence of Leia. She stood up and she walked away from Leia. Not to spite her, nor to shame her, but because she needed to...For Leia, and for mostly for herself, giving Leia time alone to think of all that Amalia had said, and giving Amalia some time to confront her own feelings, alone.

Leia pulled her feet up into her flight couch and hugged her knees to her chest.

Amalia had not been able to go very far, as they were on a small shuttle, but she had dissapeared out of sight in the rear compartment of the ship.

She rested her chin on her knees. As much as her mind and body yearned to sleep, she forced herself to stay awake, now intent on sorting through what Amalia had placed before her.

***

Unaware of how much time had passed, Leia was shaken out of a dazed and thoughtful trance as the shuttle vibrated and shook. They were docking with the transfer ship. Glancing around, she saw Amalia was still out of sight.

But she had understood why Amalia had moved even as she had watched the figure of Amalia dissapear out of sight. And at that time, not only had she understood, but she had respected.

A different kind of respect, Leia realized. She knew she had always respected Amalia as a person...

...Amalia had always been a learner to Leia. Still was, in a fashion.

ah, Leia had respected Amalia on a different level. Now it was more... personal.

Good. That was how it should have been long ago. Never too late, however.

The hatch hissed open, and Leia slipped out of her crash webbing, stood up and stretched.

In order to avoid an awkward and not needed at the moment meeting with Amalia, Leia picked up her datapad and a few papers, and turned to walk through the hatch, but paused. Her gaze wandered back to the door of the compartment where Amalia was. Softly, she uttered but a few words, to herself, mostly. She nodded slowly, once.

"I understand. Soon...."

She nodded then to her aide, who stood patiently at her side.

"It's been a long day, I'll be in my stateroom. Please see to it that Amalia finds her quarters with ease"

With that Leia was gone.

***

A retinal scan confirmed Leia's identity and unlocked the door to her stateroom. She practically drug herself into the room, the door closed and locked behind her automatically. A few lights flickered on, sensing the motion in the room. But the room was still dim, and so Leia dropped her datapad and miscellaneous items on her desk and stretched out on her back on the neatly made up bed.

Now in the comforting confines of quite familiar surrounds, as Leia spent a lot of traveling time on this ship, Leia's mind tracked back to Amalia's words. She felt the truth in them, understood where they came from and why. But she also knew Amalia was unsure and afraid of Leia, what she would think or do, what she would say.

Leia already knew that Amalia had no need to fear at all what Leia held within, and Amalia would soon need to hear. But everything would count on how Leia decided to express it to Amalia, and what she intended to do about it.

With that in mind, Leia's face fell into a troubled expression that none would ever see, she knew the facts, now she had to figure out what to do with what she knew.

Leia's aid had promptly escorted Amalia to her own quarters, though aid did not stay at Amalia's side for very long. Bidding Amalia a good evening, the aid rushed off in a tremendous hurry, leaving Amalia slightly confused as to how she was to enter her own quarters.

Amalia stood in front of the door that now blocked Amalia from entering into her quarters, studying the door with much concentration.

Frell! Where is the door handle?!

She had been standing there for quite some time now, puzzled, yet she still had not given up, determined to get into her room.

She let out a somewhat frustrated sigh as she stepped closely up to the door, lifting her left hand up to the door, as if somehow doing so would open up the door. To Amalia's astonishment, it did. She took a step back, startled as the door slowly slid sideways, opening to the right.

Amalia let out a tired laugh, cautiously peering into her room before she stepped inside.

"Interesting.."

Immediately upon entering her quarters, the door shut softly behind her. Amalia took a moment or two to admire the lovely state of her quarters.

"Wow!...Sure beats the Academy."

Amalia smiled just slightly, though it faded shortly after.

Setting her things upon the bed, Amalia then took a seat in the chair that was adjacent to the bed. She let out a a long awaited suppressed troubled sigh as she looked down at her hands.

Maybe I made a big deal out of nothing...It was not nothing to me, but still, I should have just let it go.

She could not let it all go though, as much as she had wanted to, she could not. She had wanted to let it go for the sheer fact that she didn't want to bother Leia with it. If it hadn't been for that datapad, she probably would have kept it all locked up inside herself, where it would have remained hidden until another time. Yet the datapad, Leia also, had somehow struck a nerve within Amalia and she had ended up letting it all out, well, most of it anyway.

I honestly don't know what good will come of it.

It wasn't the fact that she had thought of just simply letting it all go that only trouble her, Leia troubled her as well. She was afraid, afraid of what Leia would think, what she would say and do.

Why Am I afraid???

Amalia realized then that she could answer her very own question.

I am afraid...afraid because she is my master, my teacher...I am afraid of failure, no, not failure...I am afraid to fail her...

Disappointment...

I don't want to fail her...I don't want to have all she taught me go down the tubes...because I messed up...

She wasn't afraid of failure by any means, she could handle it if she failed, she could and would correct it. Though if Leia caught her failing, it was a different story. She didn't know why, it was just that way.

Despite Leia's strongest misgivings, she was fast asleep in the better part of ten minutes in her stateroom.

Well, the Rebel Alliance soldier's main piece of advice had always been to 'sleep on it'. And she had followed and given out that advice many, many times throughout her adult life to this point.

And so sleep she did... right through dinner, through the 'night', as proclaimed by the ship's chronos, and she didn't wake up until the next morning.

With a groggy mind and a stiff body, Leia sat up in bed and looked blearily around. The first things she took note of was the chafing of yesterday's set of clothes, which she was still wearing, the lack of covers over her, the bed was still made up, and the fact that the lights were still on.

<!--EZCODE ITALIC START--> I must really have been tired...<!--EZCODE ITALIC END-->

With a sigh Leia threw her legs over the edge of the bed and slid to her feet. She spotted her bags sitting on the floor near the door, evidently having been delivered last evening while she had been asleep.

She picked them up and carried them over to the bed, simply dropping them on top of it. A moment of searching found her enough supplies and a change of clothes to freshen up with, and so she showered and attended to other things.

Now feeling and looking much better, Leia deemed herself ready to leave the confines of her quarters, and so she ventured out into the corridors of the Corellian Corvette, and ended up in the main meeting/mess area of the ship, where various meetings or other higher level functions took place.

Most of the officers, including the ships's captain, were already seated having breakfast, and Leia found a place set for her as well. She seated herself, and as food was set in front of her she found that Amalia's spot was still empty. Either she wasn't out and about yet, or she wasn't ready to show herself yet. Leia knew if Amalia didn't show she would have to go looking for her, she knew it was time for them to meet again.

Although Amalia had been troubled, she still had managed to get some sleep, though a not so restful sleep. However, some sleep was better than no sleep at all.

She grudgingly managed to get herself up and out of bed, rubbing her eyes a bit as she stood up, a yawn creeping up as well.

She was still very tired, it wasn't much like Amalia to really be tired. It took a great deal of time for her to get ready for the new day.

On top of all that, Amalia's stomach seemed to be letting her know she needed to eat, but she didn't really feel much like eating. Though she would, her not wanting to eat was more of a want to avoid Leia still. She knew things needed to be taken care of and she had waited long enough. She had had enough space, enough time to herself, now she sought answers. Answers that only Leia herself could give.

After Amalia had finished dressing and putting her things away from the night before, she hurriedly made her way out of her quarters, frustratingly glancing at her door as she walked out of it.

It took Amalia an extra few minutes to find where she needed to be for breakfast, she didn't exactly know her way around the ship.

She saw Leia out of the corner of her eye as she approached the mess area. She had thought Leia would have been long gone by now, due to the fact that Amalia was very late in getting there.

She watched as Leia slowly looked up from her food, noticing Amalia the moment she stepped up to Leia's table.

"You look like you could use some company," She smiled softly at Leia and gestured to the empty chair that was at Leia's table.

"Mind if I join you?"

Leia shook her head and gestured to the empty chair.

"Not at all, feel free"

Amalia seated herself beside a silent Leia and was served her breakfast.

Leia meanwhile set down her fork, tired of poking at her standard limp military powdered eggs. She instead picked up a piece of bread and began to tear it into tiny pieces before eating each individual piece. The entire tedious looking process made her look rather preoccupied at best.

She watched out of the corner of her eye as Amalia picked up the glass of white liquid in front of her. On Leia's tray, the glass remained untouched. Imitation Nerf milk was probably one of the most despised fleet foods there was, for it's horrible... well, everything. She smirked as Amalia smartly set the glass down again and instead picked up her own fork. Leia also noted Amalia's slightly draggy movements, she looked still yet tired, and worn, even after a night's sleep. Much like Leia herself often felt most of the time now, though now she was wide awake and refreshed after her brief time completely alone, yet another rarity in her life. But one she didn't mind passing up, she found, if Amalia was the company.

Well, she would have to open someway....

Leia pulled two more delicate pieces of bread apart before she took a breath and spoke. The words that came out were simple, commonplace every day. Leia also already had the answer to the question she voiced, but that was hardly of any matter either.

"Sleep well?"

Amalia poked at her own food, she usually didn't have what was now in front of her for breakfast. She had picked up the glass that sat next to her plate, knowing full well how horrible it tasted, though she was incredibly thirsty and it was liquid....

She decided against it however, remembering the bad taste that had once presented itself in Amalia's mouth, it was not an experience she wished to partake in ever again.

She instead went back to dabbing at her food, bravely picking out a piece of the egg like material and putting it onto her fork. She had placed the piece of food, or what was supposed to be considered food, into her mouth just as Leia had asked her if she had slept well. She quickly swallowed the piece of food, swallowing hard. She made an unpleasant face and then put her fork down.

There, all done, lovely breakfast.She thought to herself.

She tilted her head just slightly as she looked at Leia, biting down at her lip ever so softly. There was a purpose behind Leia's question, the answer Amalia was sure Leia knew already. Amalia had brought her tiredness along with her to the table.

Her left eyebrow rose slightly and she smiled in good humor.

"Sleep? What's that?"

Her face grew rather serious after the remark.

"No, I did not sleep well..I trust you did though?"

Amalia didn't need to say why she had not slept well, somehow, she suspected Leia already knew why, or at least had some idea.

Leia nodded.

"Yes, of course. I'm pretty accustomed to this schedule, be glad you aren't"

Leia offered a comforting smile to Amalia for the unsaid, and also signaled for some real food to be brought to the poor lady. A plate of fresh fruit was set down beside her, and she pushed it to Amalia.

"Being Head of State does have it's certain advantages, though..."

She grinned, turned to acknowledge something that a man had said in a low inaudible voice in her other ear, then returned to destroying her piece of bread. The next question came subtly, gently, Leia was wary of her words.

"You wonder who I am..."

She felt Amalia stir in response beside her, but she did not turn and look at her yet. She continued, her voice soft, unintrusive.

"I know you have many questions, you always were and still are quite the inquisitive one..."

Leia paused, reflecting. She continued to hold her silence, giving Amalia a chance to break in. Leia was addressing things out in the open now, though she kept it very simple, as they were surrounded by other shipmates.

Amalia's eyes withdrew their look of tiredness for a small moment, being replaced with a look of satisfaction as the fresh fruit was put forth upon the table and pushed toward her, Amalia quickly taking some of what was being offered to her.

Amalia stirred a bit as Leia began to speak again, she had not bothered to look at Leia yet, too indulged in the fruit to do so. Leia seemed to catch Amalia's attention as she pressed on with her words.

Amalia put down her fruit only to look up at Leia slightly, enough so that Leia could see her face, but barely. She smiled sheepishly.

"...Yes, and you are quite the ever observant one..."

Amalia lifted her head to fully look at Leia now.

"..I do know you...but I only know the Head of State side of you, the worker, the Master, the Jedi. Maybe that's all I am to know, but to me, that's not good enough..."

She looked at Leia very seriously, she appeared to be extremely focused and determined to get her words across.

"..I have known you for many years now. You've helped me become what I am today, the Jedi I am today. I had nothing when I first came to Naboo, no family, no friends, I left all that behind when I left Bakura. All I have from there are my memories, memories I'll never let go of. I gained a lot of things when I came to Naboo though. I gained a father figure, Ceel, a mother figure, Shmi, I gained friends, but I also gained a Master, not just a master, but a friend and a hero..."

Amalia had never told Leia that she had been her hero, it was something she had always kept with her, locked inside.

Her face grew soft, disappointment settling in.

"..I don't know Leia, the person who is supposed to be my friend. I just know my Master and my hero, it's not the same if I don't have all three things...I want to know who you are, remember who you are..."