t" said Yiffin.

And so it was done. Frelgrin phoned home ("Can you hear me now? Good") and reported their success to the Coalition. Not only was Leritor and the Sauvax a good choice based on the qualities of the people and their willingness to join, they also produced enough food to feed two Coalitions on their own, and was located stratiegically close to a generally uncolonized area of space.

Once that was done, Shlump and Yiffin bickered and argued for half an hour, but eventually decided to hold the press release next to the crashed space-ship. It was, after all, perhaps the only interesting thing on the entire planet, which otherwise consisted of farms, and areas of green between them.

Even Freewater was able to help. Some people would consider this just cause to get behind something resistant to explosions and debries, and stay there until he went away, but it turned out to be nothing more threatening then finding a podium for them to stand on while they made the press release.

So the five of them - four explorers and Andrew - stood around the podium patiently awaiting the time of the declaration. After a little while, Frelgrin spoke up.

"What I've been wondering, is where you got all the wood to build your houses and tools out of."

Yiffin raised two surprised eyebrows, the closest he'd get to acknowledging his colleague had a good point, and said "Tell us about that, Andrew."

Andrew, however, seemed just as surprised. "Now that I think about it" he said "I have wondered where we got all the stuff to build our homes from before."

"You mean you don't know?" said Frelgrin, in considerable surprise.

"Typical savage culture, that" said Shlump "Their simple minds cannot-"

"Do you have any personality besides one-dimensional arrogance?" demanded Yiffin. Shlump deflated distinctly.

"...I have a pretty strong ego" he offered. "Not much more after that really."

"I thought as such" said Yiffin.

There was pause. "What we we talking about?" said Frelgrin, cautiously.

"How the crabs built houses wit nothing to build them out of." said Freewater, who had gotten bored and was piling rocks for fun.

"Oh yeah" said Frelgrin. "Anyways, so you don't know?"

Andrew shrugged "All I know is that Sauvaxes come from the south with lots of wood every so often-"

Shlump and Yiffin chuckled amongst themselves. "Oh grow up you two" said Frelgrin in annoyance. "He only said 'wood', for God(s)'s sake. Please Andrew, go on."

"Yeah, well, they come up from the south with lots of materials and stuff, and we trade some produce for it. Thats' all we really know or care to find out."

"But you're the ruler of this planet!" said Yiffin "Surely you could find out?"

Andrew shrugged "Whats' the point?"

They stood in silence.

"Looks like the post is about to end again" said Shlump.

"Could we try and leave the goddamn fourth wall intact for five minutes?" grumbled Frelgrin. "Thats' all I as-

Then the post ended.

Sauvax were beginning to gather. Earl could be seen, along with what must be from a Crabs' point of view a very culturally diverse selection of representatives. The only other none-Sauvaxes Frelgrin could see was a Murder of Reporters (The correct group name in Azguard), which seemed to have materialized out of the mists, but then, reporters often do.

It was about midday by the time people stopped coming in. The turnout was good. It was either this, or watering turnips, and it looks like they had just won out. Frelgrin stepped up to the podium-

"Hand on!" Hissed Yiffin "As the senior explorer around here, I demand that I make the declaration!"

"Senior explorer my foot!" hissed Frelgrin right back "I'm a founding member of TARGET, I have twice the seniority then you."

"Yeah, well, who has the best expertise in these matters??" said Shlump "I'm an expert in savages!"

"Thats' jolly fine diplomacy!" said Frelgrin fiercly "The last thing they want to hear is your description of all the "primitives" you encounter!"

"Sure, which is why I should do it! I'm the most reliable and intellectual amongst us-"

There came the sound of a large hand tapping on a microphone. Shlump, Yiffin, and Frelgrin became painfully aware that all three of them were not standing at the microphone. They turned, to see Freewater clearing his throat at the microphone.

"Right" he said, completely missing the three looks of abject horror given to him by his three colleagues "So'z one day I was eating pie, and then Mister Frelgrin told me we had to go to Lee-ro-tar, because there were polly-tickles involved. So we got on a ship, and it took a reeeally long time, and I fell asleep because Shlump stole my book and I was all the way up to the letter L. Then we crashed, but we were ok.

"Then I saw all these crabs, but I didn't eat them so I could have pie. Then I thought I smelled fish, so I went away and found a building. I didn't like it in there, because the doors hurt, but I landed on Andrew so it was Ok. Then Frelgrin said things were easy so a robot shot at him. We got out though, and had tea. Then an evil crab wanted to blow up the world with a laser, but he didn't, so that was good. And Andrew said Lee-ro-tar would join the Coally-ton. Frelgrin said this good, so now we tell everyone and I go home. I still want pie."

After a couple confused moments as people sifted out the important points, polite clapping broke out amongst the crowd. Relieved that the world apparently hadn't ended, Frelgrin, Shlump and Yiffin all released a pent-up sigh of relief.

"Well" said Frelgrin to Andrew "Its' been a pleasure. We'll drop in from time to time if we can."

"That'd be nice" said Andrew "And I'm proud to say, five thousand words have passed, and not once did you present a coherent plotline, well done."

"Well, one tries" said Frelgrin, as he entered the ship alongside his three fellows. After a couple false starts, the crashed shuttle rumbled into life. With plenty of put-putting, it rose into the sky at last, and was lost to sight.

...

"I gotta use the bathroom" said Freewater.