Every night, before the boogeyman goes to bed, he checks his closit for chuck norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in God. God believes in Chuck Norris.

Jesus wears an armband that says "WWCND?"

Then God said, "Let there be light," and Chuck Norris said, "Say please."

I think it's chucknorris.com... but whatever is it, it has Chuck Norris's opinion on all of the Chuck Norris one-liners that are surfacing all about the internet nowadays. :P

Yeah, he hopes they'll spark interest in his actual skills, and thus, his new book. Note that he did not actually deny these skills...

Thread necromancy!

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Nice...

When Chuck Norris steps in a puddle, he doesn't get wet, the puddle gets Chuck Norrised.

MAKE THE MADNESS END!

Once, while walking in a park, a blind man stepped on Chuck Norris's foot. Chuck said, "hey, do you know who I am?" and the blind man, being blind of course, said, "I don't know." Chuck then replied, "I"m chuck Norris." The shock of merely hearing his name cured the mans blindness. Unfortunitally, the first, last, and only thing he ever saw was a roundhouse kick to the face.

Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.