If you just give it to me, I won't have to steal it from you.
If you just give it to me, I won't have to steal it from you.
If you just give it to me, I won't have to steal it from you.
If you just give it to me, I won't have to steal it from you.
If you just give it to me, I won't have to steal it from you.
If you just give it to me, I won't have to steal it from you.
If you just give it to me, I won't have to steal it from you.
If you just give it to me, I won't have to steal it from you.
If you just give it to me, I won't have to steal it from you.
If you just give it to me, I won't have to steal it from you.
If you just give it to me, I won't have to steal it from you.
If you just give it to me, I won't have to steal it from you.
If you just give it to me, I won't have to steal it from you.
If you just give it to me, I won't have to steal it from you.
If you just give it to me, I won't have to steal it from you.
If you just give it to me, I won't have to steal it from you.
If you just give it to me, I won't have to steal it from you.
If you just give it to me, I won't have to steal it from you.
If you just give it to me, I won't have to steal it from you.
If you just give it to me, I won't have to steal it from you.
If you just give it to me, I won't have to steal it from you.
If you just give it to me, I won't have to steal it from you.
If you just give it to me, I won't have to steal it from you.
If you just give it to me, I won't have to steal it from you.

Hello friend.

Whether you may know it or not, every five seconds, a starship is either stolen or destroyed by Ewoks.

Yes, the cutest creatures in the Universe are in fact intergalactic criminals. By the age of three, the average Ewok already knows how to jump start a space cruiser, and one of these fully grown little critters have the ability to steal entire fleets under cover of darkness.

<img src=http://www.geocities.com/whole_fn_show_2001uk/evilwok1.txt><img src=http://www.geocities.com/whole_fn_show_2001uk/evilwok2.txt>
<font size=1>By ten years of age, Ewoks are farily able to wield a variety of tools of the trade.</font>


It is with this donation that we, the Ewok Eradication Fund, hope to seek a solution to this furry crime wave gripping the galaxy in its terrible grasp. With an Cruiser, we can patrol quadrents at a time, making sectors a better, and safer place to live. The cruiser would also allow us to send in elite undercover operatives to infiltrate and hack the criminal minds that stagnate the Ewok superstructure.





With this wonderous donation to our cause, we may have enough power to storm the Ewok homeworld of Endor, a bring an end to thier reign of terror, and restore peace and justice to the galaxy. Our specially outfitted ewok agents can repel the hardiest of glider attacks and fight back against each and every rock and stone thrown, no matter how large.

As well as attacks, this new Cruiser will aid us in our crusade to stop the Ewok virus spreading further throughout the galaxy.
Our agents have already begun routing Ewoks disguised as humanoids from intergalactic customs offices . . .

</font>


For all you naysayers out there that say, we are wrong to kill these defenceless creatures as they havent even left thier home planet yet . . .well, to you sirs and madams, I say this, for every dozen Ewok criminal we will incarcirate, three will be selected for the very special honour of being skinned and made into a fashionable rucksack that both he, and she can where. Now what do you say to that Mr Naysayer?


Still not convinced? Well, if you dont donait, our former imperial masters will hunt you down, and skin you alive.

How about them apples?


So the next time you're in bed at night, think to yourself, did you lock the door on your YT-2400?

lmfao

Funniest. Thing. Ever.

Wow... that Ewok fund sure sounds important! <img border=0 src="http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/roll.gif" />

As is our counter-ewok-errism division, which is headed up by the ultimate crime-fighting combo of Mr T and the gummy bears.

To IDSA, from Admiral Pwoe

The Mon Calamari Republic, distraught by numerous wars in the defence of Mon Calamari and Kamino respectfully would like to receive the vessel you mentioned. By delivering the vessel to us, you will be content with the knowledge that you have saved the lives of numerous refugees that have fled Kamino after the Imperial bombing raid and assault, because we can offer more money to help build houses and support the refugees. Also, with the vessel we can offer the refugees jobs in our estimed navy, so that they can help defend their home, friend and family.

The shipyards orbiting Mon Calamari were damaged by the Imperial assault, and we are not at full production capability, offering the chance for another assault to take place. The Mon Calamari Republic and it's citizens would rejoice if you would send the cruiser to Mon Calamari.

In case you were not aware of all the wonderful things that the Mon Calamari Republic is currently ingaging in, I will describe a few. We are building homes for the countless refugees fleeing Tholatin, Kamino and Thyferra. We are currently engaging in Operation Defender, saving Jesmin Ragabag from her alien kidnappers the Cren. As well we are freeing numerous Cren that their tyrannical leader Crinium held captive, and restoring them to power. Crinium, the leader of the Cren, has ordered numerous massacres on his people, though they were to scare to revolt without outside intervention. The Mon Calamari Repbulic is a proud member of the Coalition of Lightside Factions, which strives to stop anyone from using the brutal tactics that The New Order uses. The Mon Calamari Republic strives for peace and offered the Imperial forces the chance to surrender numerous times on their assault. The Mon Calamari Republic is a very deserving organisation, and unlike some other organisations, have in no way threatened you. I plead, for the sakes of all the citizens of the Mon Calamari Republic for you to donate the ship to our navy. At least if you do not see fit to donate the Aegis Star Cruiser Mark Two to the Mon Calamari Republic, I feel that the Tholatin Republic is another worthy organisation, as I have heard numerous reports of the good that they do. There is no doubt in my mind that if you were to give the vessel to either the Mon Calamari Republic or the Tholatin Republic it would be put to good use. The citizens of the Mon Calamari Republic are relying on you, IDSA.

OOC:I did a word count on it for you Kas, got 424 words.

Heh… nice lie about your charity… :p

This contest will end Friday night, for you procrastinators.

And, the winner is the Ewok Eradication Fund.

Go get'em boys, stop those thieving ewoks.


(You can place the ship in your manifest)