Message VX-590
To: Anyone
From: Christopher Storm

Begin Transmission

"To anyone that might be listening, I am trapped on a vessel in the middle of a vast ocean. I don't know what planet I'm on as I was kidnapped from my homeworld some time ago. If anyone is listening to this short message I beg you to trace this and find me. I beg...."

End Transmission

*Pokes thread with a stick*

In other news, everyone was busy, and nothing happened.

Todays lottery numbers are 1, 9, 20, 5...

Xion checked his ticket eagerly and replied with much zeal, "OMGWTF, I've fucking won!!!!" after which he returned to his hideout and played with himself for a very long time.

"Sir, it is confirmed," chirped the computer.

Alone in the darkness of his private ante-chamber, the man known best as Beff steepled his fingers over the freshly pressed silk of his robe.

"Excellent," he offered in reply to the disembodied computer voice. "Wait until Xion attempts to cash in..."

"And?"

"Release the hounds."

Half way across the galaxy, locked away in isolation, Beff Pike laughed and thumped the walls of his padded room.

"Ooo! Ooo! The lottery numbers are coming in!" Grevious said as he watched the numbers scroll by.

The vidscreen clipped away from the lottery display and the message of help displayed.

"Dammit! Stupid distress call!"

The cyborg general comlinked the holonet station to cuss them out.

In a freak occurance, the distress signal managed to broadcast itself on every electronic device on a small world very far away at the exact moment peace negotiations were occuring between two ancient civilizations that had been at war with each other for centures. The signal, translated into one of the civilization's native tongue, is the worst insult ever to be devised on that planet, and the negotiations were abruplty ended when the insulted civilization vaporized the other civilization's ambassadors.

War was waged for many years later until what had truly happened was discovered and the two civilizations combined forces and invaded Coruscant. Unfortunately, however, due to a miscaculation, they were immediately swallowed by Simon Kaine's pet dog.

That is so ripped off from Hitchhiker.

It is. So?

"Sir, we have word. Douglas Adams has been ripped off... again."

"Hmm, this begs thought. Release the hounds!"