Viryn Quell was buried under a mountain of work. "That's what war'll do for your in-tray, I guess..." he muttered bitterly as poured over the details of recent military activity, seeking any fault or error in moral judgement. In his place, at the top of an ominous tower sticking out of the side of the central Coalition Command Tower, a whole department sat below him, filing reports for him to approve on every single thing the Coalition did. He was their conscience, and as such, was entitled to check his list twice on everything.
It was in this work-fueled haze that he suddenly noticed something strange hanging over his desk. It took a moment, trying to figure out just what he was looking at, until he realized that the term he was looking for was 'wreath'. Made from some sort of evergreen. What was it doing there?
"Oh no..." he muttered. "No, not this again. Didn't we just have this holiday? It can't be already..."
"Merry Holiday-time." said a cheeky feminin voice by his ear. Viryn almost leapt out of his chair, much to the enjoyment of his secretary Miette. "I hope you're not planning to work through it again?"
Viryn sighed. It was so hard to disappoint Miette - she had all the stubborness of a tireless droid and a nagging girlfriend wrapped up in an efficient android package. "Hey, this year I have an entirely legitimate out - there's a war on. Or there nearly is. Or something." he sighed "I wish we were a little clearer. I think we're at war with the Black Dragon Empire. Damn, that should be a breach of moral conduct laws on Regrad's part just for being so fu-" Miette came him a reproachful look, and he sighed again "so very ambiguous."
"Even in a war, there should be time to remember loved ones and bring everyone together. The whole point of the None-Denominational Holiday Time put aside every standard year is to celebrate accomplishments and friends and family and..." Miette remembered just who she was talkign to, and said "...and remembering other people who have those things."
Viryn just snorted "Nice try, but you'll have to take it up with Regrad this year. Everyone in the Command Tower's working through the holidays, so I couldn't stop even if I wanted to."
"That's not entirely true. What about the Holiday dinner?"
The Holiday Dinner. Oh yes, what a joy that would be, sitting around tables with the Tower staff he had to work with the rest of the year, plus all the stuffed-up dignitaries and 'special guests' Regrad could snag. The food was awful, the drinks were piss, and the conversation - well, afterwards he'd heard all he'd ever need to know about the fascinating trends in pre-war economic statistics or whatever boring topic would be brought up by whichever living-dead minister he'd get stuck next to. Every year he cut out ten minutes into it, purely for reasons of sanity. Viryn just grimaced.
"Come on" Miette pouted "You promised more holiday cheer from now on, remember?"
That was another thing about Miette which got on Viryn's nerves sometimes - she was programmed to understand all facets of human personality, which meant she knew just what facial expression or tone to take with him. The pouting rarely worked on Viryn, but if he said no it'd just be a prelude to any number of 'secretary errors' that would see him accidentally having his flights redirected to backwater hick-towns like Leritor or whatever planet Joren Logan must have been born on.
Recognizing bitterly the taste of defeat, he sighed "Fine, I'll come to the dinner, but no more. That's the big holiday thing this year, okay?"
Much happier, the robotic secretary giggled and gave a very overacted bow "Until then, honorable minister." before leaving.
"I swear..." he grumbled after she left "I bet that Azguard fu - I mean, fool - Frelgrin's been getting at her hard-drive. Since when has she ever needed to edit my words for me?" he paused, running the last couple sentances through his mind "And since when have I ever started censoring myself?! Fuck fuck fuck!" he said, in a sudden embarrased rush to reestablish himself.
It was in this work-fueled haze that he suddenly noticed something strange hanging over his desk. It took a moment, trying to figure out just what he was looking at, until he realized that the term he was looking for was 'wreath'. Made from some sort of evergreen. What was it doing there?
"Oh no..." he muttered. "No, not this again. Didn't we just have this holiday? It can't be already..."
"Merry Holiday-time." said a cheeky feminin voice by his ear. Viryn almost leapt out of his chair, much to the enjoyment of his secretary Miette. "I hope you're not planning to work through it again?"
Viryn sighed. It was so hard to disappoint Miette - she had all the stubborness of a tireless droid and a nagging girlfriend wrapped up in an efficient android package. "Hey, this year I have an entirely legitimate out - there's a war on. Or there nearly is. Or something." he sighed "I wish we were a little clearer. I think we're at war with the Black Dragon Empire. Damn, that should be a breach of moral conduct laws on Regrad's part just for being so fu-" Miette came him a reproachful look, and he sighed again "so very ambiguous."
"Even in a war, there should be time to remember loved ones and bring everyone together. The whole point of the None-Denominational Holiday Time put aside every standard year is to celebrate accomplishments and friends and family and..." Miette remembered just who she was talkign to, and said "...and remembering other people who have those things."
Viryn just snorted "Nice try, but you'll have to take it up with Regrad this year. Everyone in the Command Tower's working through the holidays, so I couldn't stop even if I wanted to."
"That's not entirely true. What about the Holiday dinner?"
The Holiday Dinner. Oh yes, what a joy that would be, sitting around tables with the Tower staff he had to work with the rest of the year, plus all the stuffed-up dignitaries and 'special guests' Regrad could snag. The food was awful, the drinks were piss, and the conversation - well, afterwards he'd heard all he'd ever need to know about the fascinating trends in pre-war economic statistics or whatever boring topic would be brought up by whichever living-dead minister he'd get stuck next to. Every year he cut out ten minutes into it, purely for reasons of sanity. Viryn just grimaced.
"Come on" Miette pouted "You promised more holiday cheer from now on, remember?"
That was another thing about Miette which got on Viryn's nerves sometimes - she was programmed to understand all facets of human personality, which meant she knew just what facial expression or tone to take with him. The pouting rarely worked on Viryn, but if he said no it'd just be a prelude to any number of 'secretary errors' that would see him accidentally having his flights redirected to backwater hick-towns like Leritor or whatever planet Joren Logan must have been born on.
Recognizing bitterly the taste of defeat, he sighed "Fine, I'll come to the dinner, but no more. That's the big holiday thing this year, okay?"
Much happier, the robotic secretary giggled and gave a very overacted bow "Until then, honorable minister." before leaving.
"I swear..." he grumbled after she left "I bet that Azguard fu - I mean, fool - Frelgrin's been getting at her hard-drive. Since when has she ever needed to edit my words for me?" he paused, running the last couple sentances through his mind "And since when have I ever started censoring myself?! Fuck fuck fuck!" he said, in a sudden embarrased rush to reestablish himself.
***
Viryn grumbled and scratched at his scruffy coat, regretting that he ever came. "I hate these things."
"Oh, relax. Stop being so grumpy and maybe you'll enjoy yourself." said Miette, straightening his coat for him. "You need to look presentable - I won't be able to look the other droids in the photoreceptors if you show up with your collar turned out again!"
"Wait..." said Viryn, puzzled "Is that where you run off to? With the other droids?"
"What do you think I do? You're the one who needs to ingest plant and animal matter to nourish your squishy organs, there's no reason for me to stick around and get slobbered on. We droids hold our own 'dinner', in the room across."
"That's... well, ridiculous. Why not be in the same room with the rest of us? Where's your holiday spirit then, huh? 'Oh, the holidays are about being together - unless that means together with stinky, slobering organics'."
Miette sighed "You can't let go of your job for one second, can you? You're not about to write another paper for a grubby underground magazine about how evil the galaxy is, focusing on the social inequalities of droid seating in the Holiday Dinner. That life is over for you, okay? It's hard to believe, but you're respectable now."
Virny groaned. No shit - where did I go wrong?
It's Regrad's fault, the charitable jackass. If he'd only left me in the gutters on Anthos I coulda lived a couple profitable years writing mad ravings for anyone who listened and died a proud and credible firebrand in a back alley. Now I'm attending a goddamn high-profile dinner party to try and not strangle every moron I meet who's supposed to run a country.
"Come on, the speeder's waiting - and stop messing with your tie, it looks fine! Oh, and Viryn?"
Viryn snapped back to consciousness "Yeah?"
"Try and smile, will you?"
He rolled his eyes "I can see you really were quite the bargain - a secretary and a forty-year old housewife rolled into one."
"I'm closer to a hundred years old now, Quell. That means I know a little bit about holidays. I've seen men alone down a mineshaft have more holiday spirit than you."
"Probably because you were doing them at the time..." muttered Viryn.
He woke up from the stunning smack on the back of his head about a half-hour later, groaned, and stumbled out of the speeder. "Okay... maybe I deserved that one."
"Oh, relax. Stop being so grumpy and maybe you'll enjoy yourself." said Miette, straightening his coat for him. "You need to look presentable - I won't be able to look the other droids in the photoreceptors if you show up with your collar turned out again!"
"Wait..." said Viryn, puzzled "Is that where you run off to? With the other droids?"
"What do you think I do? You're the one who needs to ingest plant and animal matter to nourish your squishy organs, there's no reason for me to stick around and get slobbered on. We droids hold our own 'dinner', in the room across."
"That's... well, ridiculous. Why not be in the same room with the rest of us? Where's your holiday spirit then, huh? 'Oh, the holidays are about being together - unless that means together with stinky, slobering organics'."
Miette sighed "You can't let go of your job for one second, can you? You're not about to write another paper for a grubby underground magazine about how evil the galaxy is, focusing on the social inequalities of droid seating in the Holiday Dinner. That life is over for you, okay? It's hard to believe, but you're respectable now."
Virny groaned. No shit - where did I go wrong?
It's Regrad's fault, the charitable jackass. If he'd only left me in the gutters on Anthos I coulda lived a couple profitable years writing mad ravings for anyone who listened and died a proud and credible firebrand in a back alley. Now I'm attending a goddamn high-profile dinner party to try and not strangle every moron I meet who's supposed to run a country.
"Come on, the speeder's waiting - and stop messing with your tie, it looks fine! Oh, and Viryn?"
Viryn snapped back to consciousness "Yeah?"
"Try and smile, will you?"
He rolled his eyes "I can see you really were quite the bargain - a secretary and a forty-year old housewife rolled into one."
"I'm closer to a hundred years old now, Quell. That means I know a little bit about holidays. I've seen men alone down a mineshaft have more holiday spirit than you."
"Probably because you were doing them at the time..." muttered Viryn.
He woke up from the stunning smack on the back of his head about a half-hour later, groaned, and stumbled out of the speeder. "Okay... maybe I deserved that one."
***
The Holiday Dinner took place in the epic Coalition Command Tower overlooking Azguard's capitol city of Az, where all manner of guests from all across the galaxy were invited to take part in the cold but cheerful holiday tradition on Azguard. A great feast was prepared, and heartily indulged in the comfort of the shimmering marvel of Azguardian craft.
This year, however, the Prime Minister was not in attendance. Neither were various other military men - a sad reminder of the dangerous times that had befallen these holidays. Nevertheless, the tradition carried on, and Viryn glumly entered the room that even now was full of genuine holiday cheer. Songs, carols, chants, prayers, and conversation flowed over him as he squeezed between the rough-cut wood tables brought out for the occasion, narrowly dodging symbols of cheer and goodwill as they were hurled playfully through the air at fellow guests.
Without looking around, Viryn grabbed the first empty chair at the head-table and flopped into it with a sigh. He hated these things.
"Oh you do, do you?" said a friendly man in a cloak to Viryn's left. The former journalist furrowed his brow, working out what had just happened.
He looked the cloak up and down, recognized it, and said "What's it to you, Jedi? Oh, and don't read my thoughts - I know your order's hardly up on this whole 'right to privacy' thing that the Coalition's been working on, but it's generally seen as impolite to eavsedrop on someone's very thoughts."
The man laughed heartily, and said "I need no extra-sensory powers to tell your thoughts, friend. You wear them plainly on your sleeves. It's clear by the way you sit, by the way you speak, that you do not want to be here."
Viryn sighed to himself quietly. That damn boring economics minister would have been better than this ecclectic nutcase. "Fine, okay? I don't want to be here. So leave me alone."
There was silence for a while, before the Jedi said "Why do you dislike this dinner so? Surely we must all eat, and why not eat in the company of our friends and allies?"
It would have been easy to ignore him, but Viryn felt somehow compelled to answer - maybe it was the Force, or maybe he'd just been looking for an outlet. "Look, I can accept that maybe the Holiday idea isn't all bad, having some special day to put aside to make sure we all aknowledge our friends and family and all that, that's okay in my book. Last year, I even learnt that people can celebrate it sincerely without just being selfish or commercial. But that's the thing, isn't it? They can, doesn't mean they will."
"So you doubt the sincerity of your fellow man? You see this dinner as perhaps hollow? All for show?"
"Yeah, probably! To me it just looks like a bunch of politicians, friends therof, and whatever nutters Regrad grabs off the street - you discluded, for the time being. We're here for the cameras and to remind each other of political alliances and stuff, we're not here because we all want to be together and remember good times. Hell, if I wanted to remember 'good times' it'd take an ounce of something illegal and the police breaking in half-way through."
The Jedi was hard to see under the cloak, but appeared to be smiling. "A little cynical, to say the least. If you'll let me, however, there is a recent story of my Order that I believe would help you put these things in perspective. Would you like to hear it?"
"Would saying no stop you?"
"No."
"Then go right ahead."
"It's about a holiday we would celebrate on Naboo called 'Cris-mas', remembering some long-forgotten holy-man and philosopher responsible for defining a great deal of what we call the Lightside today, and of one of our number's journey to the Force. Listen well."
This year, however, the Prime Minister was not in attendance. Neither were various other military men - a sad reminder of the dangerous times that had befallen these holidays. Nevertheless, the tradition carried on, and Viryn glumly entered the room that even now was full of genuine holiday cheer. Songs, carols, chants, prayers, and conversation flowed over him as he squeezed between the rough-cut wood tables brought out for the occasion, narrowly dodging symbols of cheer and goodwill as they were hurled playfully through the air at fellow guests.
Without looking around, Viryn grabbed the first empty chair at the head-table and flopped into it with a sigh. He hated these things.
"Oh you do, do you?" said a friendly man in a cloak to Viryn's left. The former journalist furrowed his brow, working out what had just happened.
He looked the cloak up and down, recognized it, and said "What's it to you, Jedi? Oh, and don't read my thoughts - I know your order's hardly up on this whole 'right to privacy' thing that the Coalition's been working on, but it's generally seen as impolite to eavsedrop on someone's very thoughts."
The man laughed heartily, and said "I need no extra-sensory powers to tell your thoughts, friend. You wear them plainly on your sleeves. It's clear by the way you sit, by the way you speak, that you do not want to be here."
Viryn sighed to himself quietly. That damn boring economics minister would have been better than this ecclectic nutcase. "Fine, okay? I don't want to be here. So leave me alone."
There was silence for a while, before the Jedi said "Why do you dislike this dinner so? Surely we must all eat, and why not eat in the company of our friends and allies?"
It would have been easy to ignore him, but Viryn felt somehow compelled to answer - maybe it was the Force, or maybe he'd just been looking for an outlet. "Look, I can accept that maybe the Holiday idea isn't all bad, having some special day to put aside to make sure we all aknowledge our friends and family and all that, that's okay in my book. Last year, I even learnt that people can celebrate it sincerely without just being selfish or commercial. But that's the thing, isn't it? They can, doesn't mean they will."
"So you doubt the sincerity of your fellow man? You see this dinner as perhaps hollow? All for show?"
"Yeah, probably! To me it just looks like a bunch of politicians, friends therof, and whatever nutters Regrad grabs off the street - you discluded, for the time being. We're here for the cameras and to remind each other of political alliances and stuff, we're not here because we all want to be together and remember good times. Hell, if I wanted to remember 'good times' it'd take an ounce of something illegal and the police breaking in half-way through."
The Jedi was hard to see under the cloak, but appeared to be smiling. "A little cynical, to say the least. If you'll let me, however, there is a recent story of my Order that I believe would help you put these things in perspective. Would you like to hear it?"
"Would saying no stop you?"
"No."
"Then go right ahead."
"It's about a holiday we would celebrate on Naboo called 'Cris-mas', remembering some long-forgotten holy-man and philosopher responsible for defining a great deal of what we call the Lightside today, and of one of our number's journey to the Force. Listen well."
***
Every Jedi
On Naboo
Liked Cris-mas a lot...
But Silus,
Who lived just north of Theed,
Did not!
Silus hated Cris-mas, the Lightside, and it's season!
Don't bother asking why, it's for an obvious reason
It wasn't just that his arm wasn't screwed on just right.
It wasn't just that he'd joined the Sith Order to fight.
It's clear that the most likely reason of all
Would be that his heart had fell a long fall.
But,
whatever the reason,
The Force or arm-screws,
He stood there on Cris-mas Eve, hating Naboo
Staring down from his enclave, with a sour, deep Sith growl
At the warm Lightside minions asleep in the town.
For he knew every Jedi in the Temple beneath
Was using their power for good and not grief.
"And they're spreading their doctrine!" he snarled with a sneer.
"Tomorrow is Cris-mas! It's practically here!"
Then he growled with his lightsaber angrily humming,
"I MUST find some way to stop this Jedi fumbling!"
For,
Tomorrow, he knew...
Every Naboo girl and boy
Would wake bright and early while Jedi speak of Joy!
Of Joy? It was lies! The Lightside is just noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!
It's the one thing Sith hate! Jedi NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
Then on Naboo, the young and old would indulge in a feast.
One of Jedi feats, to watch with their feast!
And they'd FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!
They would watch magnificent Force powers while feasting on beasts,
And such a waste of power was something Silus couldn't stand in the least.
And THEN
They'd do something
He'd hate most of all!
Every being on Naboo, the tall and the small,
Would stand with the Jedi, with Cris-mas bells ringing.
They'd stand hand-in-hand, and damnit, be singing!
They'd sing! And they'd sing!
AND they'd SING! SING! SING! SING!
And the more Silus thought of this Jedi-led sing,
The more the Sith thought "I must stop this whole thing!
"Why, since the beginning of time Sith have put up with it now!
"I must stop this Cris-mas from coming... But HOW?
Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!
SILUS
GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I know just what to do!" Silus cackled, and broke
Into his supply closet, taking a Jedi robe and a cloak.
And he chuckled, and hissed "What a glorious darkside trick!
"With this cloak and a Jedi robe, 'A Jedi Master!' They'll think!"
"All I need is a lightsaber..."
Silus looked around
But, since Sith use red sabers there were none to be found.
Did that stop the Sith?
No! Silus simply said
"If I can't have a lightsaber, I'll fake one instead!"
So he took a flashlight, and he took some black thread,
And he tied some blue plastic-wrap ontop it's lamphead.
THEN
He loaded some rags
And some body-bag sacks
In his ramshackle ship
Filled up to the max.
Then Silus said "Giddap!"
And the ship soon touched-down
In the Temple where the Jedi
Were at rest in the town.
The Temple was dark. The Force filled the air.
Whilst the Jedi were meditating deeply with care
Silus came to the first Jedi home in the square.
"I'll need body bag number one," the old sneaky Sith hissed
And he slipped through a window, a sight not to be missed.
The lightside was strong here, he felt a small pinch
But not enough to stop him, not for an inch.
He just paused at the window, for a second or two.
Then appearing in the dormitory for youth
Where the young Padawans slept all in a row.
"These Younglings," he grinned "Are the first ones to go!"
He slithered and snuck through the Temple so pleasent
That he saw every captured youngling as a present!
Humans! And Twi'eks! Rodians! Dugs!
Cereans, Wookies, Quarrens, and Bugs!
He shoved them in bags, then the Sith, very quietly,
Stacked the stunned Jedi one by one in his ship somewhat violently.
He slunk through the temple, taking Younglings at least!
He seized every Jedi, as slow as he pleased!
He cleaned out the Temple as quick as the flash.
Why, that Sith even captured the Azguard Dolash.
Then he stuffed in the last of the Jedi with glee.
"And now!" grinned proud Silus "I have to go pee."
Silus reached the bathroom door, and he started to shove
When he heard a polite cough, like a slightly sick dove.
He turned around fast, and saw a child of Naboo!
The gungan Frakutsk, with the mental maturity of two.
Silus had been caught by this kind Jedi walker
(Who was in fact a bit of a stalker)
He frowned at the Sith and said "But master, why?
Why have you taken everyone to fly?"
But you know, that dark Sith was so cunning and swift
He had prepared a lie, and brought it up quick.
"Why, my young Padawan." the fake jedi Master lied.
"It's a new test of the Force that requires you've flied.
"So I'm taking them up in my spaceship - no fear!
"I'll take them up there, then bring them back here!"
"His obvious lie fooled the Gungan. Then he patted his head
And he knocked him out with a stick and left Frakutsk for dead.
And when Frakutsk the Gungan was thoroughly concussed,
He went back to his ship and finally lifted up.
Then the last thing he took
Was food from over the fire!
Then he flew away from the temple, the old liar.
In the temple he left nothing but Frakutsk and his flyer.
And the one speck of Force
Energy left in the temple
Was that of Frakutsk - which was already dim, of course.
Then he did the same thing
To the other town's Jedi
Leaving the Force so weak
Even he couldn't get by.
It was early in dawn
All Naboo still a-bed
All Naboo still a-snooze
When his living cargo felt half-dead
Crammed in with the Devaronians! The Verpine! The Gammoreans!
The Ewoks! The Zabrack, the Frozians!
Countless miles up, to the orbit of Asteroid Khrum-pitt
He smirked at his load as he planned to dump it!
"Ha ha to Naboo!" he was Sithily humming,
"They'll soon find out that no Cris-mas is coming!
"Once they've woken up I know just what they'll do!
"The Force will shudder for a moment or two
"Then all the Lightside on Naboo will be dead - just like you!"
"That's a pain" grinned Silus
"That I truly must hear!"
So he paused, and to the Force he cocked his ear.
And he could feel the Force in the Vaccum, you know.
It started below. Then it started to glow.
But the Force wasn't dark!
Why, it felt Merry!
It couldn't be so!
But it WAS Merry! Very!
He stared down at Naboo
Silus blinked his eyes!
Then he cursed!
What he could feel was a shocking surprise.
Every being on Naboo, the tall and the small.
Powered the Lightside, without any Jedi at all!
He HADN'T destroyed Crismas and the Lightside!
It CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And Silus, with his Sith Ship in vaccum, didn't know,
Didn't know the answer to "How could it be so?
"It came without Leia! It came without Gash!
"It came without Kenshin or Hexylra or Vash!"
And he struggled for ages, till his Force Power was sore.
Then, the Sith thought of something he hadn't before.
"Maybe Cris-mas" he thought "isn't just power evermore."
"Maybe the Lightside... perhaps... stands for a little bit more!"
And what happened then...?
Well... on Naboo they say
That Silus's fallen heart
Was redeemed that day!
And the minute his soul was at last burning bright
He whizzed back to Naboo to set all things right.
He brought back the Jedi! And the food for their feast!
And he...
He Himself!
Silus! Became a true Master, at least.
***
Every Jedi
On Naboo
Liked Cris-mas a lot...
But Silus,
Who lived just north of Theed,
Did not!
Silus hated Cris-mas, the Lightside, and it's season!
Don't bother asking why, it's for an obvious reason
It wasn't just that his arm wasn't screwed on just right.
It wasn't just that he'd joined the Sith Order to fight.
It's clear that the most likely reason of all
Would be that his heart had fell a long fall.
But,
whatever the reason,
The Force or arm-screws,
He stood there on Cris-mas Eve, hating Naboo
Staring down from his enclave, with a sour, deep Sith growl
At the warm Lightside minions asleep in the town.
For he knew every Jedi in the Temple beneath
Was using their power for good and not grief.
"And they're spreading their doctrine!" he snarled with a sneer.
"Tomorrow is Cris-mas! It's practically here!"
Then he growled with his lightsaber angrily humming,
"I MUST find some way to stop this Jedi fumbling!"
For,
Tomorrow, he knew...
Every Naboo girl and boy
Would wake bright and early while Jedi speak of Joy!
Of Joy? It was lies! The Lightside is just noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!
It's the one thing Sith hate! Jedi NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
Then on Naboo, the young and old would indulge in a feast.
One of Jedi feats, to watch with their feast!
And they'd FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!
They would watch magnificent Force powers while feasting on beasts,
And such a waste of power was something Silus couldn't stand in the least.
And THEN
They'd do something
He'd hate most of all!
Every being on Naboo, the tall and the small,
Would stand with the Jedi, with Cris-mas bells ringing.
They'd stand hand-in-hand, and damnit, be singing!
They'd sing! And they'd sing!
AND they'd SING! SING! SING! SING!
And the more Silus thought of this Jedi-led sing,
The more the Sith thought "I must stop this whole thing!
"Why, since the beginning of time Sith have put up with it now!
"I must stop this Cris-mas from coming... But HOW?
Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!
SILUS
GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I know just what to do!" Silus cackled, and broke
Into his supply closet, taking a Jedi robe and a cloak.
And he chuckled, and hissed "What a glorious darkside trick!
"With this cloak and a Jedi robe, 'A Jedi Master!' They'll think!"
"All I need is a lightsaber..."
Silus looked around
But, since Sith use red sabers there were none to be found.
Did that stop the Sith?
No! Silus simply said
"If I can't have a lightsaber, I'll fake one instead!"
So he took a flashlight, and he took some black thread,
And he tied some blue plastic-wrap ontop it's lamphead.
THEN
He loaded some rags
And some body-bag sacks
In his ramshackle ship
Filled up to the max.
Then Silus said "Giddap!"
And the ship soon touched-down
In the Temple where the Jedi
Were at rest in the town.
The Temple was dark. The Force filled the air.
Whilst the Jedi were meditating deeply with care
Silus came to the first Jedi home in the square.
"I'll need body bag number one," the old sneaky Sith hissed
And he slipped through a window, a sight not to be missed.
The lightside was strong here, he felt a small pinch
But not enough to stop him, not for an inch.
He just paused at the window, for a second or two.
Then appearing in the dormitory for youth
Where the young Padawans slept all in a row.
"These Younglings," he grinned "Are the first ones to go!"
He slithered and snuck through the Temple so pleasent
That he saw every captured youngling as a present!
Humans! And Twi'eks! Rodians! Dugs!
Cereans, Wookies, Quarrens, and Bugs!
He shoved them in bags, then the Sith, very quietly,
Stacked the stunned Jedi one by one in his ship somewhat violently.
He slunk through the temple, taking Younglings at least!
He seized every Jedi, as slow as he pleased!
He cleaned out the Temple as quick as the flash.
Why, that Sith even captured the Azguard Dolash.
Then he stuffed in the last of the Jedi with glee.
"And now!" grinned proud Silus "I have to go pee."
Silus reached the bathroom door, and he started to shove
When he heard a polite cough, like a slightly sick dove.
He turned around fast, and saw a child of Naboo!
The gungan Frakutsk, with the mental maturity of two.
Silus had been caught by this kind Jedi walker
(Who was in fact a bit of a stalker)
He frowned at the Sith and said "But master, why?
Why have you taken everyone to fly?"
But you know, that dark Sith was so cunning and swift
He had prepared a lie, and brought it up quick.
"Why, my young Padawan." the fake jedi Master lied.
"It's a new test of the Force that requires you've flied.
"So I'm taking them up in my spaceship - no fear!
"I'll take them up there, then bring them back here!"
"His obvious lie fooled the Gungan. Then he patted his head
And he knocked him out with a stick and left Frakutsk for dead.
And when Frakutsk the Gungan was thoroughly concussed,
He went back to his ship and finally lifted up.
Then the last thing he took
Was food from over the fire!
Then he flew away from the temple, the old liar.
In the temple he left nothing but Frakutsk and his flyer.
And the one speck of Force
Energy left in the temple
Was that of Frakutsk - which was already dim, of course.
Then he did the same thing
To the other town's Jedi
Leaving the Force so weak
Even he couldn't get by.
It was early in dawn
All Naboo still a-bed
All Naboo still a-snooze
When his living cargo felt half-dead
Crammed in with the Devaronians! The Verpine! The Gammoreans!
The Ewoks! The Zabrack, the Frozians!
Countless miles up, to the orbit of Asteroid Khrum-pitt
He smirked at his load as he planned to dump it!
"Ha ha to Naboo!" he was Sithily humming,
"They'll soon find out that no Cris-mas is coming!
"Once they've woken up I know just what they'll do!
"The Force will shudder for a moment or two
"Then all the Lightside on Naboo will be dead - just like you!"
"That's a pain" grinned Silus
"That I truly must hear!"
So he paused, and to the Force he cocked his ear.
And he could feel the Force in the Vaccum, you know.
It started below. Then it started to glow.
But the Force wasn't dark!
Why, it felt Merry!
It couldn't be so!
But it WAS Merry! Very!
He stared down at Naboo
Silus blinked his eyes!
Then he cursed!
What he could feel was a shocking surprise.
Every being on Naboo, the tall and the small.
Powered the Lightside, without any Jedi at all!
He HADN'T destroyed Crismas and the Lightside!
It CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And Silus, with his Sith Ship in vaccum, didn't know,
Didn't know the answer to "How could it be so?
"It came without Leia! It came without Gash!
"It came without Kenshin or Hexylra or Vash!"
And he struggled for ages, till his Force Power was sore.
Then, the Sith thought of something he hadn't before.
"Maybe Cris-mas" he thought "isn't just power evermore."
"Maybe the Lightside... perhaps... stands for a little bit more!"
And what happened then...?
Well... on Naboo they say
That Silus's fallen heart
Was redeemed that day!
And the minute his soul was at last burning bright
He whizzed back to Naboo to set all things right.
He brought back the Jedi! And the food for their feast!
And he...
He Himself!
Silus! Became a true Master, at least.
***
"Do you see the moral of my story, then?" said the Jedi, curiously, as Viryn looked on. The minister seemed uneasy, and shrugged, which caused the Jedi to chuckle lightly. "It's always a hard lesson, learning to trust in people, but remember my tale - Silus himself tells it a little differently, I hear, although it may be a while before you get the chance to ask him. Keep it in mind, though, whenever you find yourself doubting the sincerity of your friends, and especially in the days ahead where you will see them put to the test."
With that, quite suddenly, the cloaked man was gone. Viryn blinked shocked, leapt up, and looked around - but there was no trace of him.
It took a gargantuan effort, with Viryn struggling against every aspect of his being and personality, but finally, he managed to make himself say in parting to the vanished storyteller "...Happy holidays."
With that, quite suddenly, the cloaked man was gone. Viryn blinked shocked, leapt up, and looked around - but there was no trace of him.
It took a gargantuan effort, with Viryn struggling against every aspect of his being and personality, but finally, he managed to make himself say in parting to the vanished storyteller "...Happy holidays."