Regrad yawned as his speeder zipped along the land. On his lap was a folder of important points, advancments, and the like, he had taken note of during the time that had followed the last meeting of the House of Representatives. There was Commander Mumphs Report from the CIB, there was a copy of the new Constitution, and there was a number of reports from their unity efforts, plus economic files pointing to a definet upwards climb in the economy thanks to a massive boost in government spending, using money they made from some of the ideas from the last meeting.

They came to a stop outside the House of Representatives, and Regrad got out. The Reps were already making their way inside, and soon the chairs were filled with politicians, all discussing and passing around reports and files. Once everyone was in, Regrad, who was sitting at a table at the far end called out in a loud voice "Gentlmen, I would like to call the second meeting of the House of Representatives to order. Our first order of buisness is to gather all of our reports together. I ask if you could all pass them up to the front?"

There was some shuffling of papers, and everything made its's way to the front. A neat stack was set up on the table, and Regrad nodded. "Good. So now that we've got all those, the second order of buisness is - how did we do on the first week?"

There were vaguely positive rumblings from the representatives, with words like "Ok" "Nice start" and "Good for our first week" floating up above it.

"Right" said Regrad "Its' about to become a lot harder then that. We've gotta do better, and fast. We're improving, sure, but these are little improvments taking way too long. And people like the GLF are derailing it. Its' time to put our heads together and start churning out some useful legislature. Pass me a pen, a sheet of paper, and a tuna sandwich and lets' get started."

The House was full of the sound of bustling. Commities and subcommities discussed and debated, pausing only to vote on each others' legislature. Aides tried to keep up with the flow of notes, reports, and policy. The buffet table was running dangerously low on food. And at the head of all of it, Regrad and his ministers sat like a panel of judges, calling out orders, reviewing legislature, offering suggestions, and working together a list of policy priorities.

"...Ok then" said Regrad as he took down another note "We are agreed, the trouble on Anoat will be dealt with by a large increase to the Anoat state governments' funding, combined with orders to increase civil services and improve local government powers. I also want several members of each of the more dissident factions on the planet to be offered support to run in the next election."

Fraktusk frowned "Yousa sure this be gooden? If wesa makes da angrey-men boss, they might us de powers for furthin der golas."

Regrad shook his head "It looks like that, but most of the public opinion polls and interviews with these dissident types reveal they're mostly angry about the loss of self-government. The Coalition is not supposed to control their government, so we need to clear up this misconception and not only make it clear but make sure the electoral process and the government is open to anyone. A feeling of powerlessness would otherwise be harder for them to shake, leading to dangerous disunity."

Fraktusk shrugged "Fair eenuff."

"What about the hunt for the GLF?" Said Meer "The CIB has a lot of information on them, looks like they might have some leads too. They're requesting a pretty big boost to materials budget to outfit for some of their missions. I don't think we'll be able to foot the bill if we're also going to spend more on Anoat."

"We can take the costs out of the shipyard downtime sales and ore from Nkllon we've got stored up. There's more then enough money if we know where to look for it."

"The subcomittee on Health Care just reported in" said Viren, holding forth a sheet with a look of satisfaction on his face "They've set up the required health-care purchases from the budget the finance committee wrote them, and there's enough to cover the hospitals and doctors, just about."

"See if we can't get some more safety room in that budget incase we need to make emergancy purchases." said Regrad, who let out a huge sigh and fell back into his seat "Everything's going fine for once. This makes a nice change from the usual-"

Suddenly, a horrified scream rose out from the middle of the room. Regrad and the ministers leapt up, and made their way through the crowd of representatives. In the middle it could be seen... that the buffet cart was EMPTY!

"I think I'm going to be sick" said Jan, who doubled over in horror. Meer stood there in slack-jawed horror, and Fraktusk had to cover his mouth to keep himself from screaming. Viren just stood there, I don't think he really got the significance.

"Whats' the big deal?" Viren said "So the buffet cart is empty."

"Don't you realize what this means?" Said Regrad, shocked at the flippancy of his compatriot "It means we won't have anything to eat! For the rest of the day! At all!"

The horror of this realization filled the room. Somewhere, off in the distance, a wolf howled.

"All right" said Regrad "We've got the figures from the cafeteria, and its' worse then it looks. Food reserves for the building have been declining at an alarming rate, to the point that there will be large gaps of time where there won't be any food at all during meetings on some occasions."

A shocked gasp raised from the reps. Several swooned near the back at the thought.

"We're going to have to dedicate all our resources to solving this dilema. I want the confrence room cleared out, we'll use it as the hub of operations. I want everyone to split up into the various commities for food supply, transport information, funding, diet, and one for figuring out how much food is consumed during the passage of time.

"We'll need the security tapes from this and the last meeting of the house to figure out eating habits and perhaps eating spikes during different parts of the day. Have the entire staff on alert in case we need their input as to the various arrival and preperation times.

"Oh, and Viren, since you brought a packed lunch, you can keep working on those social spending and agraian reform legislatures if you feel like it."

Viren left grumbling, as the rest of the sophisticated minds of the Coalition bent to their tasks. Soon Regrad was reading various reports regarding the food, and a half dozen more commities and sub-commities had been formed. Every so often, Viren would bother them to sign a health act or education bill, but besides that they worked hard and together.

Regrad chewed the end of his pen as he went over his main report again "Ok, so we've calculated that the food intake of the average hour in session, and charted that against the food supplies in stock and our resupplying times. It appears each session day has four times where the food stock dips below consumption levels. Compare that to the domestic budget and we see even if we use the money reserves our food remains dangerously low at best, and doesn't allow for snacking or holidays."

Meer, Jan, Fraktusk, and Yolem all stood about nodding, each in thought as to how to solve this issue. Then, they were interrupted by Viren. "Hey guys" he said "I need your signatures on this Seniors Benefits bill" Regrad sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Oh all right. You know, we're quite busy. Just pass it here, we've all got pens." After Quell left they returned to buisness. "So we need to find a way to increase our food stocks without increasing spending. The House's budget is precariously balanced and low as it is."

"Would assassinating a few of the fatter Reps help?" suggested Meer.

"No!" Exclaimed Regrad, shocked "Besides, most of them are on diets and thus their eating is as a group as balanced as most other groups, according to the subcomittee on eating habits."

"Has anyone interviewed the head chef yet?" Asked Jan.

"Hm... No, I don't think so" said Regrad "Its a thought though. Lets' get down there. Oh, and if I recall, the kitchen is just below the Dungeon Of Doom (ver. 6.1) so Fraktusk, if you could bring your lightsaber? Thanks."

The Coalition Representatives gathered in the main audience chamber. It was filled with graphs, charts, and stacks upon stacks of paper, from thick leather-bound voulmns to scribbled notes on napkins. Gathered around the center table was Regrad and the ministers (Minus Viren, who had some "important matter of government protocol to address. Something about equality, or socialism or something) looking bone-weary but satisfied with the patchwork final report assembled on their desk.

"Right" said Regrad, in the international voice of someone with something to say "Lets' review. The buffet carts' emptiness issue is at its' most dire at these times" he said, pointing out several dips on one of the charts "However, we had yet to take into account how the surplus food can be redisbursed and appropriated throughout the day to make up shortfalls later on. This was balanced by the freshness issues brought up by the food used in our kitchens, which means that trying to redistribute the food we already have wouldn't work.

"So then we tried to think of ways to lower overall food intake. Dieting is ill-advised as the whole purpose of this report is to improve our current comfort to standard levels, and dieting proves to be a most trying task, especially for those as occupied as ourselves. Decreasing the plate sizes in an effort to lessen the amount taken per serving sounded good on paper but failed in practice. One member suggested we just tried eating less." Regrad said with a sort of malice, and everyone glared at a smaller rep near the back "But if we did that the terrorists would have won!

"Now we bring ourselves to the inevitable conclusion that only by increasing the food levels can we ensure a constant flow into the buffet cart. So to this end, we have tried to calculate a new balance of the budget to account for the sort of food-increase we'd need to maintain our standards, however, all simulations found one or more budget defects in every scenario we ran, from discomfort from poorly tended seats to damage to the drapes causing irregular lighting on the sensitive eyes of the representatives from Fierre.

"So eventually, we decided that there must be a way to increase the domestic budget of the house. In an effort to do so we completely redid the annual budget, and although we accomplished a few small victories like public health care and a government-provided pension plan, these were mere detour from the main issue, which remained thoroughly out of our reach, until we visited the head chef."

Everyone then wobbled precariously as Regrad hit the button marked "Flashback" on the table.

The scene appeared. Regrad, Fraktusk, Jan, and Meer zoomed into view, only they were made of colored squares. They appeared to be in some sort of side-scrolling jungle. Ahead was a pool of water with a pair of crocodiles in them (Who happened to snap at the same three second interval). After a few unconvincing steps, they took turns hopping over the crocodiles while their mouths were closed. Jan got eaten, but luckily he still had two quarters and was soon back in the game.

They continued to a pit with convenient swinging vines. One by one, they swung over the pit, from vine to vine, to the other side, which was fortunately within their arbitrary jump distance. They walked further until they found a hole marked "Kitchen". The graphics returned to normal.

"Oh wise head chef" Said Regrad into the hole "Tell me, why does the buffet table lay empty?"

After several moments, a voice rang out from the hole. "The answer lies beneath the ground, where no evidence can be found! The food you seek shall be revealed, once a foe has been unheeled!"

"Unheeled?" said Jan "What does that mean?"

"Oh come on" said the voice "Its' not easy, rhyming."

There was the de-flashback effect, and Regrad continued. "And so, my friends, we have indeed found something beneath the buffet cart! Come and see!"

Everyone filed out of the room, and sure enough, when the buffet cart was moved, there was a huge, crude hole beneath.

"Strange things are afoot." said Meer, mysteriously.

"You're right" said Regrad "I better bring my gun."

And this is how Regrad, Jan, Meer, Fraktusk, and a guy in a red shirt called 'Ensign Ricky' got stuck in a deep dark tunnel below the House of Representatives.

For a reason never so much as acknowledged, much less explained, they brought no others with them and five minutes into the walk, Regrads' laser malfunctioned and Ricky was crushed by a convenient thousand tonne weight hanging from a string.

"I don't like this" said Jan, clearly uneasy with the tunnel around him "I mean, who dug this tunnel? And why are they stealing our food?"

"I don't know" said Regrad "But with God(s) as my witness(es) we'll find them."

They continued down the tunnel in silence for a fair time yet, until at last they could spy a beam of light ahead. Stealthily, the four moved to look over the hole.

Far below, they could see the Dark Temple of Kree P'Tang, famed evil Warlord of the Great War! Long thought lost by the Azguard people but by an extroadinary stroke of misfortune just happened to be right under the House of Representatives.

"What do we do now?" said Meer, who marvelled at the massive momument to... uh.. Mevil. "And I still don't see why our food is getting eaten."

"Mesa sense somting very bad-like" said Fraktusk, darkly "Der bein lotsa spirits of de Jeedi ana Sif long be losten around here."

"...Could you repeat that?" said Regrad.

"There are the spirits of long dead Jedi and Sith here" said Fraktusk, with distinct annoyance. "Yousa unnastandin' like now?"

"Oh" said Regrad. After a second, he considered asking about his companions' sudden change in speech patterns, but decided against it. "Anyways, its' pretty clear that -"

But he was interrupted by a surge of wind, and the four had to brace themselves against the wall, as dozens of shapes began to take form. Names, in ghostly letters, appeared above their heads. These were Force Apparitions, Jedi and Sith long since deceased, drawn to this place by its' power. One, a Jedi by the name of "JediJangggerhead" leapt forwards.

"LoL! I pwnz al n00bz! U cannor bt me"

Regrad and his compatriots had just enough time to try and figure out how they could hear bad spelling and grammer, before one labled "Ahnkbiatch" jumped forwards from the Sith side.

"U sux, Jedi, u get teh suxy skillz fo been goood. LOL I wil pwn u!!1"

"One?" whispered Jan "How did we hear him put a one instead of an exclamation point?"

"Should we kill them?" said Meer.

"Oh, that's you're answer to everything" said Regrad "Lets' just see what happens."

To their surprise, the Jedi and Sith which had stepped forwards were not actually fighting. Instead, writing appead above their heads, becoming more frantic and worse spelt, each one detailing how he 'pwnz' the other.

"This being da sillyestin' thing mesa ever hear." Fraktusk said. "They speaka like da dumben ones."

"...riiight."

"Listen" said Meer "We can't possibly let these ancient spirits STAY. For one thing they're eating our food and didn't have the good taste to get elected first. And for second, they are possibly the most annoying ancient spirits I have ever seen."

"Must be up against some stiff competition there." said Jan, one always for the easy jokes.

"Meer is right" said Regrad "We have to get rid of these spirits. They certainly don't look too tough. But if they're ghosts, what will hurt them?"

"Mesa have idea" said Fraktusk "Mesa have da powa of de force. Mesa can ussen de powa for moy-moy confusin d'others."

"um... A brilliant plan?" hazarded Regrad. After a couple minutes of weighing up how much could go wrong, he decided to put caution aside. "Whats' the worst that could happen?"

"The door is breaking down!"

"What are we going to do?"

"Flee! Flee for your lives!"

Everyone began to abandone the building, escaping out the window as the battering ram broke down the door. Regrad's mind was racing, how were they going to stop them? Today, the House of Representatives, tomorow, um... something else, I guess...

Suddenly, in a flash of inspiration, he reached out and grabbed Fraktusk by the scruff of the neck. "Quick! Get Jan, Meer, and the Tech Support guy, I've got an idea!"

_________________________________________________________________

The next day, the Newspapers read "Socialist policies of Viren Quell pass, sweeping reforms signal jump in standard of living."

...In the corner of the last page. On the front page, headlines read

Regrad and Reps Stop Evil Force Specters!!

Indeed, but you ask, how? Well, later on, Regrad reformed the meeting of the house to finish their work...

"...Well, I'm glad we all made it back ok. I see Viren has done some stirling work fending off those little bureaocratic details that tend to pile up while we get down to buisness." there was some light applause. "However, many of you are wondering how we drove out the evil specters. Well, follow me."

In the house, the various reps followed Regrad from the speakers' chair to the buffet cart, which was pushed aside. Several cables now lined the tunnel, and at the bottom, the temple still stood. However, instead of badly spelt combat, you could see the force spirits attending unusual contraptions on desks, consisting of a rectangular box that hummed quietly next to a larger square one, with a screen on one side. In front of this box was a flat board of keys, along with an odd, circular device attatched to the rectangle with a wire.

The representatives were confused, and one expressed this. "Whats' going on, Regrad? I thought you said they were defeated?"

"Oh, but they are. We simply had to get them access to this 'computer network' called the 'Inter-Net'. It seems ladden with porn and political commentary, and our scientists suspect that with their lack of need for food, water, sleep, excretion, or socialisation they could play indefinetly."

"So, problem solved then?" said Jan.

"Indeed Jan, Problem solved." Said Regrad, taking a triumphant bite out of a tuna sandwhich, of which there was once again a vast supply.