The Galatic Coalition cruiser exited hyperspace on the edge of the Monahagan system and immediatley deployed a Lambda shuttle escorted by two X-wing class starfighters. The trio of ships entered the atmosphere of the planet and landed within the space port boundaries of the main city, defined by a hut and four shacks. The shuttle's ramp lowered, and out emerged Capitan Limsfitzgerald, commander of the cruiser Domitable and envoy of the fine Coalition to bring this peaceful farming community over to the nice steel grips of the Coalition for use in her campaign against the Dragon Empire.
The captian strode torwards the hut, going by the...basic?...name of Billy Bob Joes Tavern. Hmm..the capitan thought, that's a strange name for a goverment office, but whatever works on this backwater planet. Flanked by his two security officers, he approached the doors to the offices. He took note of the many various speeders parked around the tavern and swoop-bikes. He supposed that on a back water planet like this one, this was the best many of the farmers could afford. Well, they would be able to do better after they sold their food to the hungry armies of the coalition. He pushed aside the doors, and upon entering the hallowed halls of the tavern, announced in a loud voice,
"HALLOWED, BE THY CITIZENS OF MONAHAGAN, THE GALATIC COALITION HAS COME!" yelled the captian into the dark interior of the cavern. This shout was at first greeted by silence, and then a storm of laughter. The capitan, confused, commed his first mate aboard the cruiser to translate for him. The capitan was then approached by someone calling himself the bartender, obviously another name for a Prime Minister. The captian took off his salute and bowed.
"Greetings Prime Minister, I am here on behalf of the Galatic Coalition to offer you and your world the chance to join a Galatic Goverment and become very prosperous and happy." said the captian.
The bartender responded, "Hey, Lukey, you put this guy up to this? How much did you pay him anyways? I sure would like to hire him, who knows? Maybe he can get my ex to laugh so hard she'll come back to me."
The capitan was even more confused now, and so instead offered his hand in greeting. The bartender shook his hand, and then, with one swift kick, landed a blow right into his crotch, almost doubling him over in pain until the captian remembered his diplomatic manners and straightened. Deciding that this must be a particulary important greeting for this world, he returned the favour, causing the bartender to collapse, the tender holding his crotch with his hand, dropping at first to his knees, and then keeling over to the floor. A flock of people came from one side of the bar. The capitan greeted them with a nod.
"You must be the diplomatic corps for this planet. Well, now that official greetings are over, shall we get the talks and conditions underway?" asked the capitan.
Ten minutes later, the two beaten but still intact security officers were carrying the decimated capitan back to the shuttle, the "diplomatic corps" standing at the entrance of the tavern, hooting and hollering after them. The lieutenant, now the man in command until the captian healed, made a decision, and wrote the planet off limits to the Coalition and her vessels, before withdrawing the cruiser and heading off to other parts to continue their mission.
The captian strode torwards the hut, going by the...basic?...name of Billy Bob Joes Tavern. Hmm..the capitan thought, that's a strange name for a goverment office, but whatever works on this backwater planet. Flanked by his two security officers, he approached the doors to the offices. He took note of the many various speeders parked around the tavern and swoop-bikes. He supposed that on a back water planet like this one, this was the best many of the farmers could afford. Well, they would be able to do better after they sold their food to the hungry armies of the coalition. He pushed aside the doors, and upon entering the hallowed halls of the tavern, announced in a loud voice,
"HALLOWED, BE THY CITIZENS OF MONAHAGAN, THE GALATIC COALITION HAS COME!" yelled the captian into the dark interior of the cavern. This shout was at first greeted by silence, and then a storm of laughter. The capitan, confused, commed his first mate aboard the cruiser to translate for him. The capitan was then approached by someone calling himself the bartender, obviously another name for a Prime Minister. The captian took off his salute and bowed.
"Greetings Prime Minister, I am here on behalf of the Galatic Coalition to offer you and your world the chance to join a Galatic Goverment and become very prosperous and happy." said the captian.
The bartender responded, "Hey, Lukey, you put this guy up to this? How much did you pay him anyways? I sure would like to hire him, who knows? Maybe he can get my ex to laugh so hard she'll come back to me."
The capitan was even more confused now, and so instead offered his hand in greeting. The bartender shook his hand, and then, with one swift kick, landed a blow right into his crotch, almost doubling him over in pain until the captian remembered his diplomatic manners and straightened. Deciding that this must be a particulary important greeting for this world, he returned the favour, causing the bartender to collapse, the tender holding his crotch with his hand, dropping at first to his knees, and then keeling over to the floor. A flock of people came from one side of the bar. The capitan greeted them with a nod.
"You must be the diplomatic corps for this planet. Well, now that official greetings are over, shall we get the talks and conditions underway?" asked the capitan.
Ten minutes later, the two beaten but still intact security officers were carrying the decimated capitan back to the shuttle, the "diplomatic corps" standing at the entrance of the tavern, hooting and hollering after them. The lieutenant, now the man in command until the captian healed, made a decision, and wrote the planet off limits to the Coalition and her vessels, before withdrawing the cruiser and heading off to other parts to continue their mission.