The swarm moved. They swam, leapt ahead of one another, chasing the tantalising scent on the water that called to them. It beckoned, and they obeyed with haste. The were of one mind. Not fearful, not forgiving, nor relenting in their pursuit. Soon. Soon now their prey would be theirs. And the bloodbath would follow, turning the Corellian sea red in a frenzied orgy of savage feeding.

The pace quickened. There were no leaders, no standard bearers or trumpet blowers. One mind. One single purpose. Feed. Do not be fed on. Feed.

They were close. Closing in. Faster. Faster. Do not let up. Do not falter. Do not be led blindly to your death. You, the individual may fall...but the swarm will prevail.

Or so one would hope.

A quick transition, then.

Frenzied scrambling. Pain. Realisation of a trap well-sprung, then silence and a sudden calm.

Adrian chuckled.


The waters of Lake Laguna lapped gently against the side of the Trench family dinghy, and seven year-old Adrian - Jedi Knight to be - laughed merrily as his older brother's trap sprung on the unsuspecting swarm of goonta fish. He slapped the water playfully, knocking the dead bodies of the fish about, then reached in and pulled one out to show his brother.

"Lookit Jordan, lookit!" Adrian held the goonta by its tail, dangling it in his brother's face. "See 'ere, ees only got one eye. That electric current'll knocked 'im cold, aye." Adrian laughed, threw the fish at Jordan, and peered again out over the side of the boat.

"See, I told you it'd work," Jordan said. He was equally merry, only hiding it better than his younger brother. "And you were worried that it'd go wrong somewhere along the way."

"Pssh, I knew you'd a done it good. 'Sides, ma an pa never woulda let you out here with me if they thought that you were gonna go getting me drown'd now, woulda they?"

"Nah, we're alright. Here, let me take that for you," Jordan said, reaching over and plucking a fish out of Adrian's hands. He threw it into a catch-bag in the middle of the dinghy, then picked up a net and, careful to avoid the pulse generator sitting in the stern of the boat, threw it out over the water. Adrian helped him begin to reel it in.

Jordan looked satisfied as the catch was dropped out into the catch bag. He stood there for a moment admiring his handiwork as Adrian looked on in awe, then turned from the net and made towards the outboard motor.

Adrian stood up, confused.

"Hey, whatcha doin' Jord?" he asked, stepping up behind his brother.

"Whatdya mean, 'what am I doing?'" Jordan didn't turn to look at him, but busied himself diverting power from the generator back into the motor.

"Well, we got lots more fish out there to pull in yet. And our catch-bag ain't nearly full. We could get s'more."

Jordan shrugged, continued working. "Why bother? We've got enough for tonight. We'll come back tomorrow and get some more for dinner then. Dad says it'll be fine weather for it."

"But..." Adrian looked out at the water, back at Jordan, then down at the catch-bag where a sorry-looking collection of goonta held his attention for a second. "But we killed ourselves off of a whole swarm, Jord! A whole mamma-papa beast..." A note of pleading crept into his voice, despite his trying to hide it. "We could give some to the Gallabater's. Y'know, I think Julie'd like some goonta for dinner..."

"Ha!" Jordan scoffed, looked once over his shoulder to show Adrian the scorn in his face, then laughed again. A pityless laugh that made anger boil up inside Adrian's chest. "That Gallabater girl, she too old for you bro. Try someone a little more your size!" He got up from the motor, scooped a goonta out of the water, and chucked it playfully at Adrian. It hit him in the head, leaving a red gash where the sharpened scales slashed his face. "See, one'o those make you a better wife'n Gallabater ever would."

Adrian started crying, his anger forgotten in an instant.

"Oh, don't be such a baby you," Jordan said coldly. "It's just a scratch."

"I'm tellin' mama!" Adrian shrieked, running to the other end of the dinghy, stopping suddenly when his quick movements threatened to rock the boat and throw him overboard, and sat down on the bow. He looked up at Jordan, tears running down his face. "I'm tellin' mama that you said a mean thing about Julie, and tha' you killed a whole big swarm o goonta and left 'em out to rot, an' threw a fishy at me, an'-"

At this Jordan turned like lightning, hit the starter for the motor, and sent the dinghy cutting a violent swarth through the dead and forgotten swarm of fish. Adrian jerked, stuttered for a moment on the edge, surprise etched on his face, then fell back into the water with an almighty cry and a splash.

Jordan smiled to himself, waited a moment for the Adrian to surface, then brought the boat round and up next to his brother who was gasping for air and trying to doggy-paddle amongst the carcasses.

"Elp! Help! Jord, they're scratchin' me! It's stingin' Jord! Jord!"

Jordan stood for a second watching his younger brother struggle, then killed the motor and pulled Adrian out of the water by the scruff of his neck. He dropped him heavily in the catch-bag amidst the goonta bodies.

Adrian shivered, looked up at Jordan fearfully, then burst into tears once more. Jordan started and while Adrian's head was buried in his hands a feeling not unlike regret overcame him...but he shook his head, stepped over to his brother's foetal-like form, and bent down next to him.

"Now you listen Adrian, and you listen good," he whispered harshly in his brother's ear. "You ain't gonna tell mam nothin' of this. We just went fishin' is all. We caught a small swarm. You ain't gonna tell her about the pulse generator or about you accidentally fallin' in the water, or else, an' listen here good Adrian...or else next time dad asks us to go out fishin we're both gonna go out on a nice clear day...and we're gonna catch a lot of fish to make him good and proud...but only one o' us'll be comin' back, y'hear." Adrian looked up at Jordan. He'd stopped wimpering, and his eyes had gone cold.

"Jord..."

"Shut it. Now get yer arse outta that catch-bag an' start plottin' our course home."

The Jedi temple in Theed was designed to be peaceful and serene, a place of contemplation and community that acted as a haven for those of the Order whilst they were home from jetting around the galaxy in fast ships, chasing off space pirates or battling resurgent Sith Lords. The grounds were vast and expansive, and seen from the upper levels of the temple seemed to stretch almost to the horizon in some places, extending outwards in one direction to merge quietly with the suburbs of the bustling capital, the other to give way to vast pastoral plains and eventually peter off into the Gungan swamp.

It was on the edge of one of these plains that Adrian now sat; the wide, bright fields at his back, the dark forest in front of him, and the sparsely leaf-littered earth bearing up his weight. He sat with his legs crossed and eyes closed, working hard to keep his features composed to maintain that classic stereotype of Jedi calm. Adrian knew that it wasn't working, but could hardly summon up the effort to care.

He was not alone.

"Feel it, feel the Force flowing through you. There is life here, so much life all around... just concentrate and extend your consciousness outwards, to the fields, the swamp, the city, the forest..."

"I'm trying Master Trench, I'm trying! It's just hard s'all."

Adrian sighed heavily. "It's ok Jacob, don't worry. Perhaps try to be a little more focused in your meditation." The young Jedi Apprentice Jacob was sitting several feet away from Adrian, facing the plains but emulating his tutor's position. "The council have sent you to me to learn of the living world in which we exist, in which the Force is bound up and through which it works its will to us, to all things. We draw our power from the Force and so by extension from this living world..." Adrian hesitated, hoping that Jacob would view his pause for articulation as a sign to meditate on what was just said.

Whatever that was...

Adrian scolded himself, allowed for a brief respite, and continued.

"Try to concentrate on one aspect of the living world," Adrian said, hazarding around for an object. His mind's eye settled on a massive Nova Hortan that towered above them. He could feel its presence in the Force; a giant, old and almost crippled now, but with hundreds of years weighing down its life. He could feel its roots stretching out underneath him, drawing life from the soil.

"The tree. Try and focus on the tree that lives at the edge of this forest. Feel its life Force, then feel how it interacts with the other trees around it, with the rocks that lie at its feet and the animals that nest in its branches. In a way this is similar to how we Jedi interact with others, in that..."

Adrian cursed softly as his analogy crumbled to pieces and fell at his feet. Just why the hell are the Jedi Council letting you instruct Apprentices anyway... you're no good at this!

"Uh, Master Trench, I don't really understand what you're saying..." Jacob had opened his eyes and turned around to look at Adrian - he could feel the young boy's gaze on the back of his neck. Adrian bowed his head. Then he turned to face Jacob.

"Look, I think that maybe we should stop now for the day. You can go out into the fields and...meditate on what you've learned," he finished lamely.

"...uh-huh, right Master Trench," Jacob said. He got to his feet slowly, gave Adrian a strange look.

"Oh, and Jacob, it's not 'Master' Trench..."

"Right-o." Jacob turned and made off for the plains, clearly glad that the lesson was over.

Adrian watched him go, disappointed in the way he had handled the situation. He had been distracted throughout the whole lesson, thinking not of Jacob and his tutelage but of...other things.

Jordan...

"Hey!"

Adrian looked up suddenly, startled. He hadn't thought that Jacob would come back so quickly but...no. No, this wasn't Jacob. Adrian go to his feet hastily.

"Master Ari, I didn't see you there," Adrian bowed as the older Jedi approached. Ari waved away his courtesy with an air of flippancy.

"No need, no need young man. I just thought I'd take a stroll through the forest, collect my thoughts from the last few days, and happened upon you out here. Quite a pleasant surprise, wouldn't you say."

Jen Ari Esc-Elphen was a tall, almost regal force among the Jedi on Naboo, and Adrian could feel now the essence of a monarch's will working its way on him. Ari was lying, but it was an insignificant white lie, the kind a king would use to initiate conversation with one of his subjects. Adrian knew that Ari expected him to pick up on this.

"Yes Master, indeed. How have you been?"

"Oh, good, good mostly." Ari strode forward towards Adrian and beckoned him to follow. They walked together out into the field. "The weights placed on a Jedi Master are many, young Adrian, but as I'm sure you know we have developed faculties with which to deal with them."

"That's...good, Master," Adrian replied hesitantly. He knew that Ari was going somewhere with this. The Master came from an old, noble family out in the deep core and had a certain tendency towards fluffy conversation, but he seldom spoke unless there was a point to be made.

Adrian decided to take the initiative.

"Master, if I may..." Adrian spoke in a clear, distinct tone to make his intentions known. Not that that is really necessary...I am speaking to a Jedi Master, after all.

Ari smiled. He wrapped his loose robes around his chest and turned to face Adrian, the pair standing in the centre of the plain. He examined the young Knight for a moment, smiled again, and spoke:

"You have been troubled of late, Adrian. We know that your studies have been...compromised. You are not participating as much as you once did in the communal activities of this Order...and you seem constantly distracted when with your young charges," Ari assumed a fatherly posture, placing his hand on Adrian's shoulder. "I would never be so brash as to look into your mind without your permission, so I came here today to talk with you as a friend...a Master...a fellow member of this Order. Just to see how you are doing, son."

Adrian sighed. He knew this had been coming for some time, but he hadn't been prepared for it to happen now.

"I have been a little distracted, yes. It's kind of hard to... I've been having fresh memories again," he said. This statement seemed odd, but Ari gave a tight-lipped, knowing smile.

"Of your brother?"

"Yes." Adrian looked at the ground, suddenly ashamed. "I just had another new one a few minutes ago while meditating with Jacob. Up until today I always thought of our old fishing trips as happy times... It hasn't been this bad since..."

"Since the night you arrived here for the first time and Kahn helped you to break down the mental barriers that your brother had placed on your mind," Ari finished for him. Adrian nodded.

Ari let out a long breath. He was fiddling with his robes again.

"What kind of memories are they?"

"The same as always. Times when Jordan was...cruel to me. Times when he lost control and showed the dark side of his personality that he didn't want me to see, so he covered my memories with his...powers."

"He was training himself to be a Dark Jedi..."

"Yes. But I don't know why these memories are coming back now. I don't know what they mean." Adrian kicked at the ground in frustration. "I feel like there's something out there calling to me, begging me to understand whatever it is that these things are pointing me towards, but I just can't..."

Adrian suddenly noticed that Ari had gone very still.

"Master...?"

Ari stirred, considered Adrian for a second, then smiled that tight-lipped, knowing smile again and said, "Calling to you, Adrian? Would you care to...expand on that?"

Adrian realised that he had said something rather rash, but didn't see how it had affected Ari so profoundly.

"Well I thought it was natural for Jedi to have visions, or have the Force calling to them, telling them what to do...the only thing that's confusing is that I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm in two minds about everything these days, ever since just after my training finished and I became a Knight. Part of me wants to run off and do something, only it doesn't know what that something is, and the other part...the other part doesn't even know what the point is at all..."

"The point in what, Adrian?" Ari asked kindly.

"The point in this!" Adrian threw up his arms, sweeping his gaze over the surrounding plains. "In all of this. In being here, in training to be a Jedi, in everything! It's like the only reason I'm here at all is because of Jordan, because he brought me here and abandoned me and now I'm doing this because it's the only option that seemed open at the time..."

Ari shook his head. "That's not true Adrian. You have a talent with the Force, you can help others. But I think you need some time to come to terms with your brother's manipulation. It seems that his spirit still hangs over you even after all the years that you've spent here." He closed his eyes. "I sense that your brother's intentions may hold many of the answers that you seek."

"So you think I should go looking for him?" Adrian asked.

"No!" Ari's eyes snapped open. Then he smiled the fatherly smile again, but Adrian could tell that he was worried. "What I mean is that we think you should stay here and meditate on these memories. We will assign your students to someone else while you contemplate them. It would be good if you tried to remember as much as you can about your brother, perhaps take sessions with some of the more experienced Jedi to help you unlock and interpret your memories," Ari put his hand around Adrian's shoulder once more. "In fact, I would be happy to help you with this myself."

"Ok Master, I'll take some time to meditate on this," Adrian conceded. As if I haven't already been doing that most every waking moment for the past few years.

Ari seemed satisfied by this, but there was still a definite note of concern in his voice when he said, "That's good Adrian. Very good. Well," he clapped his hands together, "I think this has been a good little chat, don't you. We can organise the details of our little sessions later when we get back to the temple, but for now I think I'm going to finish my stroll. I trust you'll have a good day."

"You too, Master."

"Excellent. Goodbye my boy. Have some rest... and take care."

Adrian watched as Ari crossed the plain and disappeared into another patch of forest. In the distance he could see Jacob, the young Jedi now making his way back towards the temple despite the sun still hanging high in the sky.

Adrian lay down on the grass and tried to fall into a meditative state, something that was usually as easy as falling asleep as night but now seemed impossible. He went back over the conversation in his mind.

They wanted him to stay here. They were scared...no, Jedi didn't get scared...they were concerned about what would happen if he went looking for Jordan. But Adrian didn't fear Jordan; his brother had only ever harmed him once, but he had no reason to kill him or cause him serious pain. No, there was nothing to fear.

And then his mind began to wander, settling eventually on one thought.

On that first night after Jordan had brought him to Naboo and then abandoned him near the Jedi temple he had decided to become a Jedi. He had done this help get his life back, to understand Jordan's manipulations and what was driving his brother down the insane path of darkness. Now, over five years later, he was no closer to any type of conclusion than he had been on that night. Which begged the question...

Why am I here? What's the meaning of all this...

...why am I a Jedi?