"Ketchup, a vegetable it is."
Five words that would change the Galaxy forever. Well, the Azguards anyways.
Trillions of credits in government funding, the best scientists from across the galaxy working with the most powerful technology of the age worked night and day for eight grueling years in the "Secret Tomatoe Research And Facilitation Expansion", or STRAFE, revealed this massive, mind-expanding fact to the people.
It was said that everyone in the sector remembered exactly where they were when they heard their leader step solomly onto "the soap-box" at the Azguard Political Provincial Legislature Edifice (APPLE) and speak. The research was accurate, the catagorization was all wrong, boundries were shattered, society could almost be hear crashing down around them.
"KETCHUP IS A VEGETABLE."
The Azguard economy relied on three things, one is their booming city-building industry, two is their thriving military, and three is their massive fruit industry. Sixty percent of the fruit crop was ketchup, from the ketchup trees, and with it suddenly falling under the vegetable catagorization, demand dropped like a nuke on a weather-balloon.
And this day is where it would all begin.
________________________________________________________________
"I can't believe this" said Regrad, looking over the file once more, the same one he had just spoke aloud to everyone assembled outside. "What the Frack are we supposed to do without a fruit industry?"
"Why not just convert it into a vegetable industry?" suggested Regrad's agricultural minister.
"No, it'd never work. We have no real vegetable industry, so if we put either as our official booming industry it'll still be only half-strength. And those damn regulations on trade allow us to only put one agricultural industry on the pamplet."
"@#%$."
"I know, and there's nothing we can do."
Regrad got up out of his chair. He had just got home from a war, only to be faced with another disaster, he was feeling older by the day.
"Dispatch riot police to all major fruit and soup industries, I wouldn't usually worry about this, but there's a big influx of Kraz around today, and when us and them get together there's always one too many drinks and then someone will say "let's show those tomatoists who's boss." *sigh* I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens."
Outside his window, he could see the entire capital city spread out before him, towering citadels and apartments, all shaped like spears stabbing towards the sky, glimmering beautifully in the setting suns' light. It would take the people a few days for the news to sink in, but after that?
They were going to be pissed.
______________________________________________________________________
"Tomatoes are and will always be vegetables!" roared a protestor. He was one of many.
The news had spiralled out of control too fast. Everyone knew and everyone was angry, then everyone had a drink or two and told it to the Kraz, who all went "Tough luck buddy, but if it were me..." and then all the Kraz told everyone about protest rallies and the like, but everyone didn't seem to get the point, so everyone took the day off work and stood in a really big crowd outside the government building, shouting really loudly and with no sense of unity.
It was also the least organized crowd ever. Most forgot why they were so angry, so at about lunch the protest degenerated into an over-sized picnic, with the government officials providing the drinks and the sandwiches. Regrad went into negotiations with the leader of the protestors, and they both eventually agreed that half-time breaks were a brilliant idea for future protests, and that the show "Coalition Idol" totally sucked.
Eventually, when everyone had their fill, they tried to continue protesting, but it wasn't easy to do on a full stomach. Regrad stood at a window on the base level of the Apple building, and spoke, to seemingly no one in particulaire.
"Well, what do we do now?"
Just relaxe, everything will blow over in a week or two, then we'll have a spot of lunch.
"That's all we ever do, have lunch, has anyone ever considered getting some work done around here?"
Well... I once got up to change the channel on the T.V. um... There was that whole war a few millenia ago, that's got to count for something.
"I guess you're right. Come on, the cafeteria's open, let's get there before the Welfare Minister, he always hogs all the apple-crumble.
ooooOOOooooh, two-for-one tuesday.
__________________________________________________________________
Next week, it was discovered - to the surprise of all - that Lots of Vegetables industries, the company that did the research classifying ketchup as a vegetable, had been using incorrect information. The CEO was slapped on the wrist and told to never do that again, he was then sent to his room with no dinner to teach him a lesson.
And so ended the first-ever protest rally of Azguard.
Five words that would change the Galaxy forever. Well, the Azguards anyways.
Trillions of credits in government funding, the best scientists from across the galaxy working with the most powerful technology of the age worked night and day for eight grueling years in the "Secret Tomatoe Research And Facilitation Expansion", or STRAFE, revealed this massive, mind-expanding fact to the people.
It was said that everyone in the sector remembered exactly where they were when they heard their leader step solomly onto "the soap-box" at the Azguard Political Provincial Legislature Edifice (APPLE) and speak. The research was accurate, the catagorization was all wrong, boundries were shattered, society could almost be hear crashing down around them.
"KETCHUP IS A VEGETABLE."
The Azguard economy relied on three things, one is their booming city-building industry, two is their thriving military, and three is their massive fruit industry. Sixty percent of the fruit crop was ketchup, from the ketchup trees, and with it suddenly falling under the vegetable catagorization, demand dropped like a nuke on a weather-balloon.
And this day is where it would all begin.
________________________________________________________________
"I can't believe this" said Regrad, looking over the file once more, the same one he had just spoke aloud to everyone assembled outside. "What the Frack are we supposed to do without a fruit industry?"
"Why not just convert it into a vegetable industry?" suggested Regrad's agricultural minister.
"No, it'd never work. We have no real vegetable industry, so if we put either as our official booming industry it'll still be only half-strength. And those damn regulations on trade allow us to only put one agricultural industry on the pamplet."
"@#%$."
"I know, and there's nothing we can do."
Regrad got up out of his chair. He had just got home from a war, only to be faced with another disaster, he was feeling older by the day.
"Dispatch riot police to all major fruit and soup industries, I wouldn't usually worry about this, but there's a big influx of Kraz around today, and when us and them get together there's always one too many drinks and then someone will say "let's show those tomatoists who's boss." *sigh* I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens."
Outside his window, he could see the entire capital city spread out before him, towering citadels and apartments, all shaped like spears stabbing towards the sky, glimmering beautifully in the setting suns' light. It would take the people a few days for the news to sink in, but after that?
They were going to be pissed.
______________________________________________________________________
"Tomatoes are and will always be vegetables!" roared a protestor. He was one of many.
The news had spiralled out of control too fast. Everyone knew and everyone was angry, then everyone had a drink or two and told it to the Kraz, who all went "Tough luck buddy, but if it were me..." and then all the Kraz told everyone about protest rallies and the like, but everyone didn't seem to get the point, so everyone took the day off work and stood in a really big crowd outside the government building, shouting really loudly and with no sense of unity.
It was also the least organized crowd ever. Most forgot why they were so angry, so at about lunch the protest degenerated into an over-sized picnic, with the government officials providing the drinks and the sandwiches. Regrad went into negotiations with the leader of the protestors, and they both eventually agreed that half-time breaks were a brilliant idea for future protests, and that the show "Coalition Idol" totally sucked.
Eventually, when everyone had their fill, they tried to continue protesting, but it wasn't easy to do on a full stomach. Regrad stood at a window on the base level of the Apple building, and spoke, to seemingly no one in particulaire.
"Well, what do we do now?"
Just relaxe, everything will blow over in a week or two, then we'll have a spot of lunch.
"That's all we ever do, have lunch, has anyone ever considered getting some work done around here?"
Well... I once got up to change the channel on the T.V. um... There was that whole war a few millenia ago, that's got to count for something.
"I guess you're right. Come on, the cafeteria's open, let's get there before the Welfare Minister, he always hogs all the apple-crumble.
ooooOOOooooh, two-for-one tuesday.
__________________________________________________________________
Next week, it was discovered - to the surprise of all - that Lots of Vegetables industries, the company that did the research classifying ketchup as a vegetable, had been using incorrect information. The CEO was slapped on the wrist and told to never do that again, he was then sent to his room with no dinner to teach him a lesson.
And so ended the first-ever protest rally of Azguard.