The New Coalition has no intelligence. This statement invites countless jokes, interpretations, and the like, but the truth is rather bland and boring. I invite anyone who doesn't like to hear details threshed out on the nature of Intelligence services to stop reading now or face the consequences.

You have been warned.

As part of the recent work being done for the Coalition, it was decided that its' about damn time The New Coalition creates a real intelligence service. Assorted smaller, state-run groups like "Azguardian Special Services", "The Black Hand", and the loose network of ex-rebels from Jan Dondana exist, but the decision was made to meld them together into an effective, single entity. With lower military expectations and a variety of cultures and locations now in the New Coalition, Intelligence was the best line of defence for the Coalition, and as such, their best man was put in charge.

Well, if there was a best man. As it was, few if any New Coalitionists have shown extraordinary skill in Intelligence. Most would have trouble with your average literacy test. So, after a laborious interview process, an ex-politician from Anoat called Ferguson Mumphs was chosen to head this new Intelligence service, for his impressive work on Anoat keeping smuggling and piracy under control. A grumpy man, rather large and balding ever so slightly, he was known on Anoat for his ingenious use of limited resources, once catching a drug shipment with nothing but an elastic band and two pieces of gum.

Put at the top of the chain of command, under him was placed all the members of the smaller intelligence wings, reconstituted into wings depending on their specialization.

Currently, Commander Mumphs sits in his head office of the newly-minted Coalition Intelligence Bureau, the CIB.

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"I don't believe these orders!" Mumphs shouted, throwing the folder against the wall. "Do they even know what an intelligece service does?"

Karen Calypso, now a top official of the 'International Affairs and Events' wing, raised a curious eyebrow. "What is it now?"

"After scraping the money together to form an intelligence service, what is our first order? 'Look out for threats and terrorists and the like, we'll check back in a week'. What the hell does that mean? Is that all?"

Karen shrugged "I guess so. Don't get too worked up, New Coalition orders and officials are known for being a little vague."

Mumphs sighed "I guess you're right. At least we've got free reign. The only restrictions they've put on us is the constitution, which baisically says we can't kill people or hide in their houses and record their every movment - without a court order."

Karen raised an eyebrow "We can get a court order to kill people."

"No" said Mumphs, "I meant the hiding bit"

"Ah, ok."

"So" said Mumphs, rising from his seat and rubbing his hands together "You've finished the roster of all our assets and goals?"

"Yes sir, the agents are all listed here, along with their specialization and present location. All our equipment, funds, stations and the like are also listed on the second page. A packet of information is in the back with all the information we have so far on foreign governments, international concerns, and security issues."

"Excellent" said Mumphs, and he looked over the stack of papers. He was pleased to see he had several hundred field operatives split into multiple branches, like substance control, Internal security, espionage, tacticals, and the like. There was also a substantial listing of shuttles, ships, gear, cameras, networks, computers, anything the modern Intelligence service could want.

"A fine body of men and women, right sir?" said Karen.

"Fine, maybe" said Mumphs, putting down the clipboard "But they'll have to be a lot better then that if they hope to stand a chance against some of the missions I've got planned for them. Dismissed, for now, Miss Calypso, I have work to do."

There was a lot of noise in the Main Chamber of the CIB Compound. Specifically designed to accomadate the entire agency at once, agents of all species, colours, size, and planets could be seen squeezing into the remaining empty chairs or in some cases packed agains the walls. They were awaiting the arrival of Commander Mumphs, who had decided to gather, speak to, and give orders to the entire agency at once. Finally, after every member of the agency was seated, Mumphs entered the room and stood upon the stage.

"All right" he said "We've got a lot to do, and not enough time to do it. I see a lot of new faces here, and I'm sure a lot of you are seeing my face for the first time. But you'll soon be getting to know me a lot better. The CIB has created an aptitude test for each wing, any who fail will have to take a training course before being allowed back into the CIB.

"You've got to understand the sort of weight on our shoulders here. The disastrous attack on Corellia could have been avoided if we'd had accurate intelligence. The coup could have been sniffed out if we'd had intenal intelligence. The sort of information you'll be relaying to us might make the difference between a massacare and a triumph. The entire fate of the Coalition and billions of people rest on your hands.

"Now, each of your wing-leaders will recieve a briefing from me on our goals, and will pass down to you your orders and information on how to obtain these goals. My goal, is to make you just as effective as Imperial Intelligence - no, better then Imperial Intelligence - at finding out what others don't want known. That is our job. We find what others don't want found, wether it be drugs, embezzlement, organized crime, or military secrets.

"Now, just so you know, we've been given almost total trust by the government. We don't have to report to anyone outside the CIB. There are no special laws regulating us. The only thing we have to be mindful of is the constitution. There will be no assassinations. There will be no coups. There will be no funding of mercenary armies. There may not be a book, but we're still going to act as if there is one. We're not a force of terror or the secret police, got it?

"All right. You're all to return to your wing-headquarters now, and in about an hour the wing-leaders will return and give you your orders and stations. I don't have to tell you all of this is tip-top secret. Dismissed."

There followed the sound of hundreds of chairs scraping across the floor, hundreds of people moving out of the room, and hundreds of voices talking, shouting, and whispering. At last, the room was cleared, and Commander Mumphs returned to his office.

When he got there, the six wing commanders were waiting for him, representing the six wings of the CIB: Internal Security, for checking within the Coalition for threats. Substance Control, to watch out for drug trafficking and smuggling. International Affairs and Events, to observe other countries and function as diplomats. External Threats, to watch out for terrorists, other intelligence operations, and hostile nations. Military Intelligence, to keep tabs on generals both within and without the Coalition, ship numbers, and locations. Lastly, Domestic Services, to solve crimes and deal with inter-state criminals.

Mumphs nodded to each one in turn, rubbed his hands together, and said "All right, lets' get down to buisness."

Everyone was moving. Chaos filled the CIB Compound, as Wing-leaders spread their orders to their agents. Crews, operatives, specialists, analysts, everyone was carrying something somewhere.

Commander Mumphs had issued simple, direct orders to his Wing-leaders. Of course, I can't tell you them here, because they're confidential, but I can tell you that Mumphs knew what he was doing. He had his best men and women (and miscellanious) assigned to "The Imperial Job" (Code named "Operation so-and-so"), he had local law-enforcment reports stacked in the Internal Security, Substance Control, and Domestic Services offices, being sorted depending on whos' jurisdiction it fell under. The External Threat wing was split, either working on uncovering the GLF, or helping Military intelligence in its' first planned scouting missions.

As the noise began to die down, and agents were either getting into ships, getting into offices, or getting a snack, Commander Mumphs went back to his office, and went over the pre-planning reports his six wing-leaders had given him.

As he read them, a knock came at the door. In stepped Karen and one of the field agents from the External Threats wing, sort of a human/worm alien from Abregaedo-Rae. Commander Mumphs raised a curious eyebrow. "Hello, and what is this about?"

"Sir" said Karen "This agent has concerns about the objectives you've set for his wing."

The agent nodded. Commander Mumphs waited, but he said nothing, so Mumphs promted him. "Well, speak up then"

"Sir" he said, in a raspy voice "I have concerns about... The objectives you have set. They seem... Overly ambitious to me. I feel we are not yet... Prepared to take some of the... Risks you ask of us. In particular Operation... So-and-so worries me. Imperial Intelligence is... Highly skilled, and if they... So much as think we are investigating the... Empire they are sure to react with violence."

Once he was done, Commander Mumphs nodded "A fair appraisal, I must say. But I wouldn't be too concerned. I'll let you in on a little secret: The best thing to do with a new outfit is to set goals too great for them to reach. See how far they get, them call them back before they get in too deep. Usually, they'll have done more this way then they would have had I just set a regular objective. But don't go passing that around."

The agents' reaction was hard to appraise, from his species, but he seemed to be at least vaguely satisfied. "Thank you... Commander Mumphs." He said, and backed quietly out of the room.

Karen sighed "That might satisfy the agents, but it might not work against the House of Reps. Jan Dondana is an ex-rebel, he'll be able to tell you're aiming too far."

"Well, he should see the sense in letting this new agency test its' limits."

"Oh come on" she said "That whole thing about this being practice, to see how well they can do, that isn't true, you really think they can do what you tell them to. But I don't think anyone else does. You've got plans to send scouting parties throughout Imperial territories to get ship counts. You want to plant satellites in deep space to monitor passing ships. This is way too ambitious, most of our agents are new to this line of work, you'll get them in serious trouble and I don't think the Coalition will be thankful about you starting an international incident."

"They're new, yes." said Commander Mumphs "And I've set some difficult goals, but there's a reason. We're far behind the other big countries, Karen. We're way behind. No one is expecting the Coalition to be competant at anything. We have the element of surprise. And these are fairly inexperienced men and women, yes, but there are enough of us more experienced types around to keep them from messing up too badly, and the new ones have vigour, enthusiasm. They're not old and jaded, they really want to work, take risks, serve. If these early goals can be met, we'll be ready for anything, and no one, not the crime rings, not the Imperials, not the pirates, will be any the wiser."

Karen frowned "Its' more then a bit of a gamble, though."

"Yes it is. But if we couldn't take risks we wouldn't be in this buisness. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to take care of some planning reports."

After a week of planning, organizing, and decision making, this was the first test. Regrad himself, generally considered the most important person in the Coalition, and the most unusual, had shown up.

Today was the day where the the first operation would be launched by the CIB, a small one stopping an illegal shipment of stolen weapons from leaving Anoat. Local law enforcment had suspected it for months, but when the size of the operation began to be revealed it was decided it would take a true intelligence organization, like the CIB, to take it down.

Today would be the first test of the infrastructure Commander Mumphs had been working on. If it went well, Regrad would give the green light and Command Mumphs would be free to run his operations from now on, ranging from the complexe international scouting he had planned, to the simple matter of inter-state legal issues. A trial by fire that would decide wether the whole organization was ready.

"Blue team, are you ready" Mumphs said into a microphone. The reply came back clearly that they were. Mumphs turned to Regrad, who nodded, and then he turned back to the microphone. "All right, you have the green light, begin operations."

On the main screen, everyone watched in silence. The bulk frigate carrying the stolen weapons was just moving away from the system. Suddenly, its' engines shorted out. The screen changed to an eye-lense camera in use by one of the agents. "Check, one two". About six field agents could be seen, their races disguised under heavy gear.

"You've done your research" Said Regrad, approvingly "You've found the right ship and the right time. I wonder, how did you accomplish this?"

One of the agents who had been working on the mission from the base stood up from his post near the screen, saying "We matched the times when the weapons were reported missing to recent cash deductions made by a pirate groups' accounts, which a spy satellite intercepts from its' position in the Kathol sector. This ship has marked its' cargo down as fruit but the quantity which it is taking is far greater then their accounts say they bought. It is also the only ship heading towards the Kathol sector, and we have twenty witness testimonies that a member of the crew used to work as a security member for the base where the weapons were stolen three months before the robbery, and quit two weeks later."

"Seems rather thorough" said Regrad.

The team was now disembarking, their ship had made contact with the suspect. The six agents moved fast and quietly. One man was directly in front of them, who threw his hands up and screamed. The agents rushed forwards, and one knocked him out with a rifle-butt to the face. They were now running down the ship, and passed a second team which had also landed.

They busted into the bridge to find little resistance. The crew panicked, but none tried to fight back. Soon they were rounded up. Now came the most important part, the part which had Commander Mumphs biting his nails.

"We are now in the cargo bay" said the agent with the camera "and are proceeding to check within the cargo crates."

The first one contained... fruit. Mumphs felt the nerves prick up on the back of his neck. But Regrad was calm. "There are still many crates." said Regrad "like that one."

The agent went over to the one Regrad had pointed to and popped the lid. Inside was.. Guns. Lots of guns. "I think we've got 'em, chief" said the agent, and relief was evident in his voice.

Cheering broke out among the agents at the sight of a job well done, and Regrad patted Mumphs on the back. "Well done, Commander. Consider this your green light to go ahead. The CIB is yours, may you serve long and well."

"I will, sir."