An event that follows after Drowning of the Light; three weeks after.

IC: The battle had changed Amalia for sure. She had left the scene that day a changed woman. It was clear that the woman still had her physical and mental scars with her battle, but the same pure and tranquil atmosphere that was known to exist within her, no longer seemed to be; instead something more rough, resilient, and bold was found as her replacement.


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Theed, Naboo.

She never came too close but still managed to stay far enough away. She watched them from time to time, wishing she were with them. Sometimes she would study them, other times she would listen.

No one went unnoticed.

From the Jedi Masters down to the very last padawan, she watched.

In the moment, she stood watching one. A Jedi Master.

She stood very close, only a few feet away.

A back to her; still the form was easily recognizable.

She had been standing there for at least twenty minutes, but the figure never bothered to look up, content within a diligent task.

Her presence had been masked; she suddenly let it run free.

"I did it for desire and I'm not sorry," she said, speaking firmly toward the figure.

She had taken life; she felt no remorse.

His eyes were partially closed, his breathing deep and even, as he stood with the sun's warmth to his back. He'd tried traditional meditating earlier, sitting cross-legged on the grassy plain, but for some reason, he'd been unable to quiet the thoughts in his mind; a restlessness he couldn't quite identify prevented him from achieving a state peaceful enough to truly meditate.

The Jedi Master had rather reluctantly stood, his gaze focusing on two stones, reaching out with the Force to manuver them in the air. He moved them in random patterns, not really paying much mind to their movement, instead using the action as an outlet for his energy, as he let himself slip deeper into the Force, feeling it wash over him in a gentle wave.

His eyes snapped open, however, when he felt her presence so suddenly, and so near. It had been three weeks since he'd spoken with her, three weeks since the time he'd watched her battle a demon that had long plagued both of them. Three weeks since he'd watched her kill that demon, her former husband.

The rocks dropped to the ground.

"I did it for desire and I'm not sorry"

Kahn turned at her words, his gaze meeting her eyes swiftly, as he absorbed her words, and the emotion - or lack of emotion- behind them.

She'd killed another being in battle.

An evil being, but a being nonetheless. And though the killing itself was perhaps justified, the complete lack of remorse in Amalia's tone unnerved Kahn, maybe moreso because he understood her lack of regret than the fact that it was unlike Jedi to look so coldly upon death.

Because deep down, a part of him knew what she meant. A part of him agreed with her, that the killing was deserved, that the victim had it coming, and that there was no reason to feel sorry for the death.

Of course, Jedi were supposed to value life, all life, no matter the circumstances. Killing in self-defense, or in the defense of others, was justifiable. But it was expected to express some degree of regret at taking a life. . .regret that was completely absent now from his Master. Her words, as well, that she'd done it in desire- the heat of the moment- were decidedly un-Jedi as well.

Kahn knew all this as she spoke; it didn't cross his mind in so many words, but he recognized what meanings her statement could hold.

He nodded, acknowledging her words.

"You did what you had to do, Master."

The title rolled off his tongue easily, as it always had; no matter what she did, Amalia was his Master, his mentor, and his close friend. Nothing she could do would change that.

"Whatever feelings made you do what you did, whatever you feel now- I can't pass judgement on that, and I won't pretend to."

He spoke quietly, holding her gaze.

"If you expect me to turn my back on you because of what happened, you're wrong."

She never imagined being able to get through that day. She remembered everything about that day so vividly and probably would for the rest of her life. In her heart, she knew, that if she were made to replay the battle all over again, she would change nothing.

"... But I.."

Amalia broke her firm gaze on Kahn, only to look down and away.

".. My ways are no longer the same as your own," she said softly, a hint of sorrow in her voice.

Very slowly Amalia's eyes found Kahn's face once more, that same lack of expression missing from her gaze, her words still ever firm.

"I'm not a Jedi anymore."

"I'm not a Jedi anymore."

Her words hit Kahn hard, causing his nearly neutral expression to falter, a brief look of pain reflecting in his clear blue eyes. Even after all that Amalia had done, the Darkness he'd sensed in her before. . .even the way she'd taken another life, and showed no remorse- after all of that, Kahn had stubbornly refused to entertain the idea that her actions were anything more than a stumble, a short detour from the path of the Light. In reality, her actions could prove far more than a simply matter of going astray, but he'd been almost afraid to admit it, afraid of losing the one person he had always depended on the most.

"Master, don't say that, please. . ."

His gaze was pleading, his calm demeanor as a Jedi Master momentarily broken, allowing the somewhat-childish fear of losing her to show through. However, as he paused, he took a breath, trying to compose himself, aware that she would not have made such a statement unless she believed it herself.

"If that is your choice, then it's your choice, Master. . .but you don't have to leave the Order, you could still come back. You're still welcome here. If this is because of what happened that day. . .well, there are Jedi who have done worse, Amalia. I'm one of them. You can still make your home here, still have a life with the Jedi, if you wanted."

If she wanted. That was the catch, really. Kahn wasn't entirely sure if her decision was because she believed she *could* not return, or if she did not *want* to return.

She did not say anything for a long time, her gaze serious yet empty. She studied him, as if seeing him for the first time. Not as the young boy she had met so long ago, but as a man.

"I'm proud of you," she said quietly, avoiding his words briefly, if only to think. Still, her words were true.

Her gaze retreated slowly away to look about the familiar land that was home to her, a look of remembrance crossing her face.

".. I never left."

Her still form slowly moved to close the gap between Kahn and herself as she moved to stand beside him.

"The only thing that keeps me away from here.. is myself," she said, her brown eyes looking to Kahn with earnest and sincerity.

"This is home to me, and it always will be.."

Her brown eyes hinted toward more unspoken words that had yet to be said.

"But I..."

A gentle sigh escaped from her lips as she turned away from Kahn, her back to him.

".. don't belong here."

Her face bore no expression as she turned once more to face him, content with staying that way.

"So much has changed... I've changed...

.. And maybe I am still welcomed here, to the place I've always known as home..."

Her gaze turned uneven as her jaw set to become hard, she looked away just slightly as she tilted her head just right to look at Kahn but it still seemed as if she were truly not looking to him.

".. but my soul and my heart want me to go elsewhere."

The woman's heart felt heavy, as did her soul as she told him her truths. Too painful to say and too painful to hear, nonetheless, it was all she could give him. Nothing less would she ever give him and would he ever see, only the truth.

Her gaze turned soft as her eyes met his. Her hand moved swiftly yet gently, catching him off guard. She caught his chin within her hand, trying to break his attention away from whatever he was feeling. She wanted him to understand what really mattered.

".. But it is the people that will always bring me back, even if I don't have plans to stay."

Her hand gently drew away but her gaze remained.

"That's what matters to me most, not the places, the things, nor the ideas, but the people."

Amalia's words washed over Kahn, though it took a moment for them to sink in fully. Deep down, he'd held onto the hope that even despite all that had happened, Amalia would return to the Jedi Order. Irrationally, he'd at times dared to imagine a near-future where, as time passed, things went back to the way they were; that the void between them would be healed, and nothing would have changed.

But the truth was, that such a thing was impossible. The events that had occured, the actions both of them had taken, had left a mark on their relationship, changed it and molded it into a new shape, and it could never return to its old dimensions.

Her hand on his chin, making him meet her steady gaze, pulled him from his thoughts. The look in her eyes offerered a spark of hope- hope that, even if they couldn't undo what had happened, it wouldn't mean that he had to lose her completely.

"Master, I- "

He paused, trying to piece together words to express the chaotic emotions within. The Jedi in him knew that she would not change her decision, and that he needed to accept it. But the more human part of him wanted to struggle against it, wanted desperately to keep this change from happening. In the end, however, his training won out.

"I won't say that I agree with your decision, but it is yours to make. You have to travel the path that you feel is right. . .I just. . ."

He held her gaze for a moment, his next words in quieter tones.

"I just want you to know that no matter what path you take- I want to be a part of the journey. I don't. . .don't want to lose the bond we share."

He only hoped she could understand his rather halting attempts to express his feelings; he'd never had a problem conveying them to her before, but then, he'd never had to worry about losing her, either.

"No matter what- you will always be my Master, and my friend."