Kenshin watched quietly as Master Leia took the chrome hilt from him. He felt a dull cool wave overtake him as the lightsaber left his hand. He felt something missing.

When Amalia left behind her lightsaber, she left behind not only her role as a Jedi but her role as his Master as well as a person he knew well.

Or a person he thought he knew well.

If the darkness within would consume her, then he really wouldn't know her at all. He was more than willing to help her carry the burden on her soul, but he wondered if she would let him.

Kenshin was a bit surprised when Master Leia asked for his opinion. The padawan's brow furrowed in thought and there was a moment of silence before he spoke.

"I'm not sure what to think. But I think Master Amalia will be alright for now. It is not our place to interfere...yet."

Only time knew whether they could do anything to help. But Kenshin knew he would jump at the chance when it came.

The shuttle Jensen and Amalia had been occupying had already left Naboo’s atmosphere. And preparing for the jump to Jomark the nav computer had calculated the coordinates.

But even when all that was happening in front of him it seemed to be the last thing on Jensen’s mind. He knew this was it, his career as a Jedi was over before it even began, and there was serious doubts if he would ever see his family again.

For a moment or two it almost seemed like he was in a trance…just staring off into the blackness of space. He quickly brought himself back however to make the jump.

“…here we go.”

And the shuttle shot away from Naboo, and the stars quickly blurred and turned into streaks.

Jensen just watched for a moment in silence, unsure of pretty much everything. He found it hard to look at Amalia directly, and he was pretty much content to just sit for a while.

Biting his lip after a long moment Jensen broke the silence.

“It won’t be a long trip, about thirteen hours or so…I’m going to get some rest while I can.”

Jensen sat up and headed to the back of the shuttle, content to contemplate and think on things and perhaps sleep if he could until they made it to Jomark.

On route to Jomark....

It did not matter how small Naboo became through Amalia's viewport, it did not matter that the planet would eventually disappear from her view.

The planet still did not feel far away enough from her; it never would.

Naboo was and had never been just a planet to her; to her it was home, her life, and her family.

Now she was running away from it.

She could not help but already have second thoughts about the choice she had made to leave.

Her departure had been a hard decision to make, a tremendous sacrifice to leave everything she had behind.

What was most perplexing to Amalia was the idea of not knowing if she was making the right decision or not.

Yet she felt that leaving was something she needed to do, had to do.

There was the small prospect that was embedded in the back of her mind that told her that she would one day be back again. She was keen on that idea.

Amalia had become so muddled, so drawn to the ideas in her head that for one reason or another, she completely forgot about Jensen.

Only when she found herself back in the moment again did she become startled, confused.

She was not aware of the fact that Jensen had just been with her mere moments before. She had not even heard him speak to her.

Alone again. Alone and lost... again, like a long lost child that yearned for its mother.

... So she assumed.

If the Jedi had taken a moment to break away from idealism sooner, she would have been able to notice Jensen when he had been sitting beside her.

Yet she hadn't, and that had produced her own inability to be pure. She made her own mind clouded, infatuating her judgment.

"Jensen???"

Amalia's face scrunched into worry and then panic when she did not hear him reply.

"Jensen?????"

She stood up from her seat, franticly searching the young man out. After several minutes without a response from Jensen, Amalia became distraught. It was in that time of distress that the Jedi also became disoriented; panic finally creeping into her very being.

She gave one more last ditched effort to call out his name.

"Jensen?????"

She had finally made her way into the back of the shuttle, sweat creasing her brow by this time.

Her rapidly already beating heart rate steadily rising with every breath and step that she took.

Hope almost completely dwindled from her....

Then she heard him and every shred of worry, panic; every unhelpful feeling that she had been feeling depreciated from her.

"..red and black...."

He was talking strange... in bits and pieces almost.

"..Amalia... lightsaber..."

His voice guided her to him.

"Can't let... Zabrak... hurt... no.. Amalia..."

When Amalia came upon Jensen she found him curled up on a small circular couch, his mouth moving ever so slightly.

Just seeing him there brought a soft smile to her face. She hadn't been able to make out any of the things he had been saying and was still saying, but it did not matter.

She was content just to watch him.

Walking past Jensen for a moment, Amalia shifted toward one of the cubbyholes that were near by, producing from it a soft cloth like material.

Delicately she draped the material gently over him and then moved to sit in one of the reclining seats that were slantways from Jensen.

For Jensen sleep had come easy. What he wasn’t prepared for was the real life nightmare that seemingly came back to haunt him.

***

The forests of Theed seemed blacker than ever, illuminated only by the burnings of Theed, and the vicious attack by the sith, laying waste to the Jedi and the local people.

“Why can’t you just leave her alone??” So much desperation in a voice of a Jedi padawan who was already hurt badly…Jensen had began to lose patience…and he was losing it quickly. Zeta seemed to be having fun with the situation, but didn’t bother to reply to any plea Jensen had uttered.

Jensen looked around, and it seemed as if all confidence and hope had left him. Zeta’s padawan had showed up, and the odds against the Jedi Padawan were growing.

“Theres a lot more Jedi out there than you realize.” An idle boast perhaps, but the one thing Jensen failed to realize is, just how un-jedi like he had sounded.

And again…he started to walk toward Zeta…and Zeta again as previously, force pushed Jensen backwards to where he stood, hitting the ground with a sickening crash…

There was no hope left, Amalia and Jensen was going to dye out here if he didn’t do something now.

Again he found himself looking straight at Amalia. A person who seemingly, past away but for some reason he felt she was still alive in some way. Zeta’s actions didn’t make sense to him. The Zabrak still seemed focused on her…almost like his plans wasn’t realized as of yet. But any hope of Jensen of that happening was gone, Zeta just seemed to be playing with him, and when Zeta became bored with the situation, Jensen would probably meet the same fate as Amalia.

Lightly touching his lip with his index finger. Jensen just now realized the taste in his mouth as he began to fully give in to his emotions

It was his own blood. …He had tasted his own blood and he became so overwhelmed by the flood of hatred welling within him he just couldn’t take it anymore.

Slowly looking back at the Zabrak his eyes narrowed, betraying the fire of anger within him he picked up Amalia’s saber off the ground. He fully intended to accommodate Zeta’s and his apprentice’s fate by not allowing them to leave this planet…alive.

Rising back up from the ground at a quick pace. The lightsaber’s violet hue sprang to life. And taking a few steps backwards he turned…and made his way toward Zeta and Han…

Though the situation was not meant to be. And Zeta and Han both disappeared and a haze of dark grey smoke….almost as if they had never even existed.
And through the smoke of where Zeta had once stood. A new individual took his place, wearing a dark green robe and his face shrouded by the hood.

“Jensen…put the lightsaber away my son.” It was Jensen’s father, the very man for weeks he tried to hide the darkness within him from…he knew, he knew now.

Startled and at the same time confused Jensen disengaged the saber.

“I know why you haven’t been answering our messages Jensen, I’ve known for some time.” The Jedi Master said. Following Jensen, back over to Amalia.

“Then you know you couldn’t blame me for my lack of telling you could you? “ Jensen said looking back, his smile sarcastic. Right at his father, the very person who had molded him…

His smile had quickly faded “I’ve failed you…I’ve failed you both.” Jensen said, “I’m lost…and there isn’t anything anybody could do about that now…”

Jensen couldn’t look at him…hopelessness apparent in his very soul. He went to finally pick up Amalia and take her out of there.

“Jensen.” His father said touching his shoulder guiding him back up to face him.

“Leave her be for just a minute, temper your emotions Jensen, calmness…look at me son. I want you to know I’m very proud of you, what you’ve done here is very noble and is the very essence of a Jedi to help those in need, the fact that you have been able to leave the order in order to do this its taken a lot of courage. Being a Jedi, to really be a Jedi, is not proven by titles or associations to Jedi temples…it’s dictated by spirit and actions alone. ”

“And my mother, what are you going to tell her?” Jensen asked…

“I’m going to tell her the truth,” his father said calmly.

“Will I fall to the darkside?” Jensen asked, hopelessness in his voice.

“Only you can answer that Jensen, the force guides us. But doesn’t dictate our fates, it partially controls our actions but also obeys our commands. The darkside…although powerful relies on deceit for gain, and it clouds ones judgment.

Jensen interrupted “I have…to get her out of here.”

His father paused realizing his Jensen wasn’t comfortable but there was nothing else he could do, it was up to him now.

“Okay my son…I will leave you, mind all I have taught you…as it can very well save you.”

With that the Jedi master exited the scene.

Jensen turned to look at Amalia…concern obvious on his face; she had been through so much in the course of one night…

“Time to go…” Jensen went to pick up Amalia,

And before he could do so he woke back up.

***

Jensen rubbed his eyes as he slowly rose up; turning to face Amalia he quickly noted the blanket that was now in his lap.

He wanted to smile but it quickly faded as he looked away from her, she was safe…for now. But the darkness was still there.

He did look back at her however, and smiled slightly, though still a bit sleepy from his rest.

“Thank you.” he said calmly.

He looked at the clock…

“We will be leaving hyperspace soon.”

“Are you feeling okay?” Jensen asked.

“Are you feeling okay?”

Amalia's mind spun with activity at the prospect of coming up with an answer, her answer.

In what could be one of the most indistinctive times in the woman's life, when she could have (and perhaps should have) answered skeptically; she did not.

Her face was set in a heavy sort of consideration as she debated over the simple question. After only a few minutes of profound silence on Amalia's part, the woman's gaze broke into a sort of soft serenity, it was then that she answered him.

"Yes," she said softly.

The smile that she had tried to portray along with her answer, failed to come, making her answer not all that believable.

************************

Yes, she was okay.


This journey was hers, a journey long past due.

This was a journey she had not wanted to go on alone, though she obstinately believed otherwise.

A journey that would require her own single solitary moments, more than anything else that would be offered to her along the way. Still, she would want more than just those quiet moments alone.

She wanted a reason to escape her seclusion.

Unknowingly, that had been the reason why Amalia had asked Jensen to be a part of her journey.

He could offer her that escape, but so could anyone else back home.

So why Jensen? Easy, he was a new face for the woman. He did not know her, and she did not know him.

Her moments of seclusion would be where she would draw on what was familiar to her, as well as perhaps the unfamiliar.

For the time being, Jensen was just simply someone to talk to.

... An easy way at simplicity within its beginning stages…

************************

The shuttle quickly drifted out of hyperspace, Jomark merely a few minutes away from them.

Amalia had been holding back a question that seemed to weigh more heavily on her mind now than any other time before. If she did not ask then, she'd forget to later.

".. Jensen... do you think... if I had not asked you to come with me.. do you think you would have come with me anyway?"

Jensen watched Amalia quietly, nodding his head slowly as he listened he then attempted to answer a very difficult question.

“Truthfully? I think I would have because I wanted to, but it also scares me.”

He stopped in quiet poignant reflection. And gave Amalia a hopeless gaze.

“…I don’t want to fall…”

He then looked off.

“But at the same time I can’t in good conscious just leave you to fight this alone. I had no choice but to come with you.”

He returned his gaze to her, his eyebrows raising matter of factly.

“That said, my career as a Jedi is over. Before it even began, I gave up the jedi order for the very ideals it stands for.”

Heavy silence came, and then he continued.

“But I would have come, you need time to heal but you won’t be able to do it alone.”

He looked down, the returned his gaze to her.

“I’m here to help you…” he said quietly.

Looking toward the cockpit.

“We are at Jomark.”

Jensen lightly rubbed his eyes, and picked himself up, as he made his way to the cockpit, not knowing if Amalia followed or not.

Quickly glancing over the sensors he spotted something unusual. It was a ship of some sort. Jensen lightly tapped over the readout wondering what to do…

He decided the best course was to ignore it they may not be friendly.

Jensen quickly set coordinates for Jomark’s atmosphere

“Entry here may be a bit shaky”

The ship slightly buckled and the atmosphere of Jomark brightened the cockpit in a shade of gray. As the cockpit window started to become pelted with heavy rain.

After a few moments the rains gave way to a glorious sunshine rare to any place else as they made there way toward the planets surface.

“What’s that? Is that a castle?” Jensen pointed in the direction of what seemed to be a building, on the side of a dormant volcano.

He decided to land near there and brought the shuttle down on a flat area.

The deranged woman that sat quietly across from Jensen in contemplating silence hung onto Jensen's words like glue.

A hint of hope was all she needed, and for right then, she registered that from him.

"It's not so bad, really, falling," she said, a wry yet hopeful smile crossing her face.

"..I... I think it'll be good for both of us. It just might make us stronger.."

She really did believe what she spoke, the words were not commonplace to her; words filled with real meaning.

There was a pause as Amalia shook her head, feeling a little dense.

".. I guess that might seem a little crazy, but I can't help but feel the way I do.. but I think I fall along with your way of thinking…”

Amalia's gaze broke away from Jensen to look down at her lap. As she continued to speak her words came out soft and bleak.

"... About continuing to be a Jedi, I mean. Even if we do make it through this.. I.. I can't see myself being the same Jedi that I once was."

She frowned as if defeated by her own words.

As Amalia's gaze returned to his, she smiled just a little, glad that he came.

"I don't know what is going to happen, but I'm glad I have someone to pass the time with."

The two conversed for a little while longer until they were greeted by the oceanic planet of Jomark, Jensen confirming their arrival.

Amalia watched Jensen rub at his eyes and get up, but she was not quick to follow after him. One part of her wanted to stay seated, to stay in one setting, in one place in time. Another part of her wanted to follow after Jensen to see what awaited her, but it was with great hesitation that she wanted to follow through with moving forward.

With grave indecision Amalia went to her feet and followed after Jensen toward the cockpit.

“Entry here may be a bit shaky”

At Jensen's words Amalia grasped onto the back of Jensen's chair, hoping that it would support her through the shaky descent toward the planet's earth.

Much to her own incredulity, she found that the landing was not as bumpy as she might have thought.

Once the ship set closer to land, Jensen struck out with a new discovery, an unexpected one of sorts.

From Amalia's angle it was hard for her to see just where Jensen's finger pointed towards, Amalia had to peer close over the man's shoulder to see the so-called castle Jensen spoke of.


"Sure looks like a castle," Amalia said, backing away from Jensen suddenly when she realized how close to his ear shot she was from having to peer over his shoulder.

"Sorry," she said, a little embarrassed as she stood back up, still resting her hands on his chair.

It wouldn't be long before the two got to discover the castle directly.

Jensen flew the ship to their landing point near what seemed to be some sort of castle ruins.

Inwardly Jensen smiled when Amalia peeked over his shoulder to have a look herself at the ruins. Whether Amalia wished to admit it or not, Amalia’s presence was still calming peaceful and warming. Even with the darkness that seems to be enveloping her. There was still light within her, and that light was very much worth fighting for.

"It’s okay…" He said in a whispered quiet tone, piloting their craft to the final landing point

The engines of the shuttle kicked up dust not disturbed for perhaps years as the ship finally touched ground slowly on the uneven terrain below though still flat enough to land the ship on.

Jensen sat in the cockpit of the shuttle in an almost trance like gaze.

He looked out among the barren rocky wastelands that were Jomark straight at the ruins. The island was small -- the brisk scent of the ocean nearby betrayed the shore wasn't that far. And breathing in the air even in the cockpit hinted the same in the atmosphere.

Jensen finally sat up in the cockpit and turned toward the Jedi master.

He met her gaze with a light smile.

"Are you up for some exploring? I think maybe we should see about the ruins."

Parting her gaze from Jensen, Amalia's brown eyes dashed toward the ruins, her mind, for a time, overlooking the matters that had been troubling her ever since they had left Naboo.

Looking out, she became lost in her own world, nothing but Jomark in her center. It took quite a tug from Jensen to pull Amalia out of whatever reverie she was in.

"Hmm?"

She blinked lightly, her eyes sinking to Jensen again.

"Oh.. sorry, sure... the castle.."

Amalia didn't wait for him to respond as she quickly spun around and headed for the exit ramp of the shuttle. The woman appeared rather unfocused as she headed on down the ramp, her brown eyes almost empty, as if there wasn't anything inside her that showed her being alive.

Still lost in another world again. So lost in fact that she failed to notice where the ship had landed, she would have kept on walking had Jensen not called out to her, bringing her out of her daze once more.

"Amalia.... Hey! Wait up! We'll need the speeders!"

She turned sharply around, turning to look at him with a lost expression. She acted as if she hadn't heard him.

"What?"

He raised his left arm and pointed, Amalia's eyes following suit.

"The speeders, we'll need them to get to the ruins."

She tilted her head to one side, pursing her lips.

"Amalia.. what's the matter with you?"

A sigh escaped her lips as she tilted her head back up, her eyes looking past Jensen. Her body noticeably quivered as she walked back toward him.

She would have walked right past Jensen had he not grabbed her right wrist with his left hand, easily swinging her around to face him.

"What's the matter with you?"

His tone came to show abrasive frustration.

"You can't keep acting like this!"

His eyes came to hold a quick moment of pleading.

"Like what?.."

He shook his head roughly once.

"You're distant.. and don't dare tell me you aren't, you've been this way ever since we left Naboo... "

She abruptly jerked her arm out his grasp, narrowing her eyes at him as a slightly heated look crossed her face.

"... Maybe you should go back and visit that soldier. I'm sure you and he would have a good time of it debating over what is and what isn't."

A confused expression crossed Jensen's face.

"What?? What are you talking about???"

She bit her lip and looked away.

"Nothing.. I'm sorry, that was uncalled for. I was just thinking... thinking about the soldier that we came across."

Her brown eyes connected to Jensen's own gaze, a sense of pain and confusion registering in her gaze.

"It's just the soldier.. You don't know how much it hurt to see the way that he looked at me, at all of us. He looked at us as if he knew everything there was to know about us. Like whatever he believed was the truth and only the truth."

She shook her head quickly, small frustration crossing her gaze.

"It wouldn't have mattered what we said to him, he'd still draw the same conclusions no matter what we said. He didn't believe in anything we had to say because he thought he knew more, thought he had seen more."

True, the soldier had been much older than any of them, but it didn't mean he had walked in any of their shoes.

"... I guess... I'm just confused. How are you supposed to feel about something like that? How do you tell someone like him that what he sees isn't the truth at all but really a mixed up representation of a depiction of something that really shouldn't be there in the first place?"

She didn't know why it hurt her so much, she hadn't even known the soldier; perhaps it was the fact that the wise old man claimed to know her better than she knew herself.

"How do you deal with something like that?"

Jensen didn’t expect the sudden outpouring of emotion from her. It was actually quite troubling to him; the whole display in fact silenced him for a bit. She seemed fragile almost at this point.

All he could do was watch her briefly in a silence that was punctuated what would normally be peaceful sounds from the shoreline nearby. A soft sound that one could find serenity and solace in. Yet, both seemed so unrealistic at this point.

He searched for the words to say to her…and the unsettling silence was finally broken.

“You don’t have to be old to be wise Amalia, and likewise it is true that old age doesn’t make one wise by right either. We will always encounter those people that will be blinded by their own assumptions. No argument you put forth will sway them regardless, these people that don’t understand. The only reasonable course to take with them if they are unwilling to respect your situation is to simply avoid them and not invite them back into your life anymore.

He had his own agenda, and admittedly it went through my head a few times to simply knock him off his soapbox. It was not only insulting to you, it also was to me.”

His head tilted downward

“…Especially after I had to deal with a particularly dangerous Sith…he was a Zabrak don’t know who he is, but something gives me the feeling him and I will meet again in the future. He was waiting for something or someone…and he was using you as bait…”

His brow raised a little as he watched her.

“When I stumbled upon you, I was heading to Master Kahn’s home. Well…it seems I lost my way in the mist and pockets of fog, and that’s when I found you. You seemed… well I won’t remind you of that. But I barely had time to react before he showed.”

He swallowed and continued.

“Our dangerous host had plans for the both of us. But he never attempted to kill me, at first I couldn’t figure it out why he wouldn’t. But it didn’t take me long to figure out what was going on. Finally he left….after realizing his plan was no good it seems.”

“I waited on you to wake back up, must have been for hours but I stayed right there.”

He meekly shook his head

“I never left you….”

He thought back to the time he had to look in Amalia’s lifeless eyes. Those sad eyes that had haunted him since that night. Those brown eyes that he was gazing into was now embedded with the special spark of life. Yet the sadness remained, but there was hope.

Jensen decided to skip that part, deciding she wasn’t ready to hear.

“Then you woke up, and that soldier came. Do you honestly think it was easy for me to just stand back and listen to him? I just don’t know maybe I should have dusted him off, it might have completed my fate and I wouldn’t have to wait so long for it.”

His voice became slightly tense. And his eyes hinted at the frustration

He seemed to pass a hopeless smile, and his voice quieted.

“Funny how that works…a Jedi, and yet it seems I regret not taking a life.”

He pointed toward the direction of the speeders.

“The speeder bikes…we need them to make it to the ruins. Shall we?”