The Past…Clevinger Detention FacilityWhen death finally came for Venn Stoudius Macbeth, it shied away.
He stood in the yard, grimly staring at the ground, trying to pretend he didn’t exist. Out of the corner of his eye he spied Kinvess Dolarin walking towards him. Finally then, he thought, finally maybe it was over. Death was what he feared; it was the source of his misery. But it was also what he sought to end that misery. If there had been no imminent death, there would’ve been no misery and no need for death. In the end it was better this way.
There it was. Time slowed as the bulky, balding man in his mid-thirties made his way over, his dog-stupid face and eyes emotionless. Even time conspired against Macbeth; it seemed like forever while the thug made his way over, bearing death in his hands. And when he finally arrived, something unexpected happened.
He stopped, staring Macbeth right in the eye, and reached into his pocket. Macbeth just looked back at him, utterly nonplussed. A second later, he felt something being pressed into his hand, and a second after that, he found Kinvess leaping forwards in terror, shouting at the top of his lungs. And looking down, there was a knife, clutched in his own hand.
Macbeth found Kinvess on him, pummeling him relentlessly. And before he could drop the unwanted blade, he felt the crack of something thick and hard in the back of his head.
He fell slowly and catastrophically to the gravel, striking it face first. Kinvess, still screaming in horror, launched himself on top of him. Stars sparkled in Macbeth’s dazed vision and he struggled blindly against the blows that rained down upon him. Then blows of a more sinister variety – matching that which had knocked him down – began to strike him. As his vision cleared for a brief moment, he saw Warden Anselm’s face contorted in the throes of violence. He screamed for all he was worth, hollering tunelessly in the face of agony.
Then he was under again. He felt the nightstick strike him again and again; he felt his flesh bruise and tear, felt his bones shatter into thousands of pieces. He pushed his face into the ground, fleeing impotently in a direction he could obviously not. And still the blows came, crushing him brutally. Pain overwhelmed him to the very edge of consciousness, but not enough to push him into the welcome embrace of unconsciousness. Still he was denied his sweet release. “No!” He pleaded dumbly, but still the assault came.
Then it was over. He was gone; drifting, listless, in a void of nothing, in the void of his own mind. This, at last must be death, he thought. The release denied him for so long. The ears he no longer possessed rang loudly. He expected relief to come flooding into his heart at any moment, as the realization that the pain and suffering that had come to personify his life were over, and now there was only sweet nothingness. But the relief never came. He waited and waited in the darkness, but nothing came.
Until at last the dull ringing in the ears he no longer possessed resolved itself into the vague and monotonous rhythm of speech that he didn’t understand. And slowly a realization considerably worse than death came to him; that he was not dead. That he lay face down in the dirt and mud of the Clevinger Detention Facility yard, broken and twisted, but against all odds, still breathing. Still breathing. If he could have screamed, he would have. Instead, unbeknown to the crowd he suspected surrounded him by he noise, silent tears filled his eyes.
And he heard Warden Anselm say, “I saw him draw a knife.”
* * * * *
The darkness that came next was corrupted by the vague knowledge – a knowledge that permeated even comatose unconsciousness – that when he awoke, he would still be alive. It lasted for a long time, as far as a person who is unconscious can tell.
When he awoke, he found himself, through bleary eyes, in a dim prison hospital ward. Outside, rain poured down. Inside, he saw a body completely incased in plaster. It was his own. It hurt to move his eyes, so he closed them. It hurt to move his mouth when he tried, so he closed it.
He couldn’t move anything else.
So he sat there. Whether anyone was aware of the fact that he was awake, he didn’t know. Occasionally, he opened his eyes and looked around. After several days like this, a nurse finally noticed and alerted her fellows. “Can you speak?” She asked.
With great effort, he unclenched his jaw. “…y-es…”
She looked relieved. He didn’t know why. “Good. You… ah… you want to know where you are, don’t you.”
His neck was in a brace; he couldn’t nod. He blinked.
“You’re in the Plato District Minimum Security Extended Residence Prison Hospital.”
“…e-extended… residence?”
“Why, yes,” the nurse said, slowly and sadly looking down at Macbeth. “You’re… oh dear.”
She called a doctor in. He didn’t know why. “Hello there, fellow,” the impressive doctor said when he came in. “Good morning.”
Macbeth blinked.
“Tell him,” the nurse whispered. Evidently she did not know that the incident had not affected Macbeth’s hearing.
“Ah… yes. Well, sir, unfortunately, during that – incident, you were… your neck was broken. You are paralyzed from the neck down. Bacta won’t help – the nerve endings are much too damaged. I’m afraid there’s nothing we can do. You’ll find that it is very difficult to speak, because the muscles in your face do not receive the proper amount of energy. I suggest… well I suggest you just rest for now, fellow…”
* * * * *
Nurse Anasthella wheeled the chair through the blissful summer day, whistling quietly. Macbeth didn’t have the energy to tell her to stop, but the bloody whistling drove him nearly insane. Anasthella was totally and completely tone-deaf, and didn’t seem to know it. “Isn’t it a lovely day?” She asked in her sing-song voice. Macbeth didn’t answer. He couldn’t be bothered. It was a lovely day in any normal person’s estimation of course, but he hardly cared. Even his execution – the one thing that might have held hope for a release from his shattered body – had been halted by the state, in accordance with laws against killing the disabled.
Anasthella was pretty, and had an amazing body; Macbeth had heard other inmates bemoaning the fact that she was married. This only made him hate her more. The secret pain of paralysis was to be a man robbed of your sexuality, but not the urges that came with it. A normal person would think that the fact one’s sexual organs did not work would be a minor thing in comparison to being quadriplegic, but a normal person wasn’t quadriplegic and couldn’t even begin to understand. Sex was a part of human life, Macbeth reflected; to have any possibility of having it robbed from you – but the desires remain – created an inestimable bitterness.
Macbeth hated everything. He hated the pretty nurse Anasthella for being pretty; he hated his fellow inmates – who he thankfully saw little of – for having use of all four of their limbs. He hated Tallon M’krah from a distance for doing this to him; he hated the world for being happy. He was a mute, shell of a man, damned to live out the rest of his fu
cking life a broken slave, lost in private agony no one could understand.
“We’ll go to mass, then,” Anasthella said. The local religion of Utropollus – Mercism – was a mish-mash of Force-based philosophy and monotheism. Macbeth didn’t have the strength to tell her how much he hated this, either. He’d never put any stock in religion, but now he felt especially repellant to it. If there was a god, Macbeth hated him most of all. For subjecting him to so much, for denying him even death, in reply to an attempt to help someone else. The threats of hell and damnation in reprisal for this hate didn’t scare him. It only made him hate god more for his arrogance in believing he could subject him to anything worse than his life up to that point. Thou shall not kill, thou shall not steal. If Macbeth could have moved his arms or legs, he would have killed and stolen if only to spite a dead god that had never loved him.
In the distance, he saw a shuttle craft set down. The same one as before; it flew regular missions to the prison, and was piloted by a pretty blond woman. Macbeth hated her, as well. Prodded forward by Anasthella, the chair slid slowly towards the chapel – until they were halted by Warden Vexim.
“Ah, hello there. Anasthella, is it?” Warden Vexim knew very well who Anasthella was, since like at least two other wardens he was fu
cking her. “Could I have a word with Venn?”
“Of course,” she said warmly, and strode off to hit on an attractive male nurse who she would probably begin fu
cking as well within a few days.
Vexim crouched in front of Macbeth. The prisoner fixed him with a dark stare from his eyes, which still sparkled with intelligence. “You feel up to talking, today?”
“…say what you came… here to say.”
“Good.” Vexim smiled good-naturedly. “The state has selected you for a very special honor. We’ve just received our final shipment of some very valuable – and very experimental – medical equipment. If you so desire, you are to be the first user of it. I believe that your selection was in part due to the… unfortunate circumstances surrounding your paralysis. Perhaps in apology for Warden Anselm’s actions.”
“…what… what is this ‘equipment’?”
“A new, experimental method of allowing quadriplegics some level of functionality. It involves the planting of a colony of nanites at the base of the brain, with which you will be able to control computer equipment remotely, allowing you full speech capability and the ability to manipulate machines that will assist you in your daily life.”
“…what the fu
ck does it matter? I’ll… still be a cripple in a chair.”
Vexim blinked and looked down. “I am offering you a chance at some level of independence and interaction with the outside world. Wouldn’t you like that?”
Then Macbeth remembered. And he replied, “yes.”
Thou shall not kill, thou shall not steal. If Macbeth could have moved his arms or legs, he would have killed and stolen if only to spite a dead god that had never loved him.[b]END OF PART 1