No Kas you're not right your definition of dating is just stupid.
<blockquote><strong><em>Quote:</em></strong><hr>You'll have to define what you mean by Dating, as there are many different ways that can be taken. Dating as in, going out with girls, getting into several relationships before finding the 'right one', or dating as in, going out and having fun with someone without being in a relationship, or ...<hr></blockquote>
Dating is dating... dating is not "intending to get married and have a child with a girl and care for them both for the rest of your life". That is just stupid. You can have a relationship with a girl and maybe perhaps even.. I don't know kiss a girl without worrying about that burdensome taking care of her child for the rest of your life.
I understand both Zell and Kas's stances, and I think the argument seems unnessecary.
Kas feels that he does not want to seriously involve himself in any relations until he is comfortable that he has found someone he could see himself falling in love with, and that he would have the means to do so. This is a respectable stance, and understandable. Maybe Kas is uncomfortable with the emotional turmoil and risks of dating around, which is his opinion and decision.
Zell, on the other hand, feels that it is better to date around, take possible risks to learn about how to have a relations, and would rather enter a relation without being absaloutly sure he will love the person in the end, then risk missing an oppourtunity, which is also a respectable stance and his choice.
Thank you Dolash for reading more into my post than I did.
And Milkshake thanks for the advice. But since the discussion isn't about losing military engagements or being a below average RPer I think your expertise is unnecessary.
Kas, give me a break. I honestly don't know whether your ideas about relationships come from western tradition, or from a belief that women are nothing but gestation sacs that need to be financially supported, or some sort of religious aversion to what you feel to be the Satanic mainsteam (and condoms), but it's almost comically backward.
Fact is Kas, I'm guessing that by the time you're married, you'll be able to count the number of women you've "dated" (in any sense of the word) on one hand and still have enough fingers left to hold a Bible. Good idea? No. You claim you want to be able to think about "her", but really, you're thinking about yourself, because it's the institution and structure of marriage you want, not love itself, because as I understand it, you haven't experienced it and don't really know (or care) if you ever will.
Aside from the fact that the things you say lead me to believe that getting married and having children is your only real purpose in life, what I perhaps find most disturbing is that the ideas you suggest are historically a surefire recipe for empty, loveless marriages that amount to little more than routine and having children.
See Kas, what you're looking for is not a relationship or "love" as it were -- it's a marriage, to anyone. You want to get married because you're supposed to get married, instead of wanting to get married because of the depth of your relationship with a given person. As an Irishman in a family full of abusive alcoholics and traditionalist Christians I have more than a little experience with empty marriages and the sentiments you express are most often the cause.
My brother is a carbon copy of you. A hardcore Christian who idealized marriage as the pinnacle of existence. The first woman he dated seriously, he married, because he was supposed to do so. A couple of years in, his marriage was on the rocks, and it still is. My father did the same thing.
I'll tell you one thing, it's a good thing that I don't share your sentiments, because of the many relationships I've been in there, not one of them has been lasting, satisfying, or worthwhile. I may be a deeply unhappy person but at least I am not married to the source of my unhappiness.
The entire reason I won't date in the conventional sense is portrayed in that paragraph. I don't want to be hurt by getting into a relationship with a girl, and I don't want to hurt a girl by getting into a relationship with her prematurely.
"Oh Kas, but how can you find the right car(girl) without test-driving(dating)?"
Dating, in its most popular form, is a method of going out and getting intimate on both a physical and emotional level with more than one person. It’s a "try before you buy" mentality that gets hundreds of thousands of unprepared and immature people hurt yearly. It’s the cause of America's high divorce rate, large abortion numbers, and many, many broken families. It promotes the idea that you can leave someone if things 'aren’t going right' or 'he doesn't fit me'. It's killing our country.
Conventional dating is primarily a physical thing. It's where people go out, and get into relationships with people that they are attracted. They let their sexual feelings go first, rather than their heads. Seeking out people with the object of being with a sexy girl, etc (determining your mate via how attracted you are to her) is a bad, bad idea. You're into an emotional relationship before you even know much about the girl.
It would be pure selfishness to allow myself to enter a relationship that gets emotional and physical with someone that I can't, and probably won't marry. You say stupid, I say responsible. I'm not out to cram as much fun into my life as I can before I die, I want to find the right girl before I get involved. I will date (as in: do things with the girl) someone when I've found someone with whom I can be good friends first. I want to make sure that the girl and I think similarly, and am compatible on a friend-only basis before I enter a relationship. Sex doesn't hold relationships together.
So you see Zell, there are at least three different types of dating. There's dating as in, going out and having fun with people, and then there's dating as in, having a relationship with someone, and then there's the most popular form of dating, which is basically hopping from one bed to the other as fast as possible, trying the wares before buying.
Dolash, and anagram is a word or set of words in which the letters of those words can be re-arranged to spell something different, without the addition or subtraction of any of the letters.
<blockquote><strong><em>Quote:</em></strong><hr>So you see Zell, there are at least three different types of dating. There's dating as in, going out and having fun with people, and then there's dating as in, having a relationship with someone, and then there's the most popular form of dating, which is basically hopping from one bed to the other as fast as possible, trying the wares before buying.<hr></blockquote>
That's complete bullshit. There are not THREE types of dating, dating is dating. Going out and having fun with people is not "dating". That's called "hanging out with friends". I have friends that are girls that I hang out with but that doesn't mean it's dating.
Hopping from one bed to the other as fast as possible is the most popular "form" of dating as you put it? What the fuck are you talking about?
Kas you obviously do not know what you're talking about. You break dating down so matter-of-factly into three categories as if that's all that can be done.
You can date girls without having sex with them Kas. You can like girls without having sex with them. I don't know how old you are or how much experience you have with women, I don't particularly care either but it seems like you don't have a lot of experience. That much is clear. It's like you're trying to break love down scientifically. We're gonna hang out and be friends and once we're really good friends and I feel like I'm at the point where I'm ready to support a child I'll take things further. I gotta agree with Gash that's not gonna make for the best relationship.
Bottom line is this when you meet someone you love it's not going to be on your own terms I can guarantee that. That's what's great about love. It is whether you like it or not unpredictable.
You don't have to be a man whore and go out with plenty of women that's not what I'm saying. All I ever said was that dating is dating and you can't break it down like you're trying to do. You can date girls without having sex with them or marrying them. Fuck go crazy though do whatever you want to do. All I can do is state my own opinion. I disagree with you and that's that.
This is an incorrect statement, because frankly, I already broke it down into three main blocks. Let's start at the bottom, real simple, so we don't confuse each other.
I say, "I'm dating a girl", what does that mean to you?
