Hey everyone. I just finished a thread called "Bloodlines - Dark Relations And Secrets" in the Battlegrounds. It's my first crack at a full RP story using some NPC's. I'd appreciate some input since it's my first.

Thanks!! ;)

From what I've read I quite like it. You tell a story through multiple characters and the like. The only thing I did notice is that when you had a lot of dialogue there wasn't much action. Maybe describe the hand gestures that the characters use while speaking, what they look at while speaking, how they stand or sit while speaking, things like that.

True, I didn't do much of that until the end. Thanks!

Don't take his advice.

You're doing fine. When it comes to the actual writing, here at TRF, we're very supportive and rarely are constructive critisisms, as above, offered. Once you find yourself in a "PvP" situation; those rules change.

You're doing fine.

Thanks Beff. :)

Twas only a suggestion. You, of course, don't have to follow what I said.

And Beff, she asked for input, so I gave it.

Hot lady avatar... weakness.... gooooooooooood

What's wrong? Turning to goo? HA!

Another Gue avatar with flames...

I'm not sure if anyone cares about what i say but i like what zerxes said that maybe a little bit more detail like feelings, gestures, etc, but i just read it and thought it was quite good. Althoguh like i said i'm not an experienced veteran like everyone else here so my opinion may not fount for much.