I know you’ve heard of me. If you haven’t, then you’ve been living under a bantha’s carcass for the past twenty years. My mother named me Jaina, but the whole universe calls me Jai.

I know what you’re thinking. “Oh geez, another poor-little-rich-girl story”. Well, if you’re thinking that, you might be right...maybe I am just some rich brat with a rebellious streak. But maybe you’re wrong too. Ever think I might have a cause for being rebellious and not becoming a Jedi like intended? Bet ya haven’t.

I’m sure you believe everything you hear about me. That I’m bossy....prideful....egotistical...snobby....and painfully boastful of skills that I don’t possess. That I came from a lovely home, with a loving mother, who had the perfect marriage. That my father was the picture of cool nobility. That my brothers were angels and everyone got along like peaches and cream.

Gullible Dumbass.

My childhood was shitty. No, I’m not complaining. I had my Dad to see me through...when Mother wasn’t yelling at him or he wasn’t out on a run. I had my brothers too...when they weren’t off playing Jedi or hanging out with Luke. From the start I didn’t fit in. Dad was my only means of escape, and I his. Maybe that’s why I turned out like him....maybe that’s why I’m a smuggler and not a Jedi Knight. ...Maybe.

More than likely, I would have turned out this way regardless of how I was brought up. Sure, I tried the Jedi thing...training, Academy, lightsaber; the works. But... “ya can’t keep a good smuggler down”. It’s in my blood. Those Hutt slavers just had to give me a chance to discover it. Yeah, that’s right. Slave. I was a slave for awhile, not long mind you ‘cause I escaped. But they sparked the flame that now fuels the fire when they caught me and forced me to smuggle for them. I was a natural, they said. A prodigy, they said. The best, they said.

That was four years ago. Now I’m twenty, and better than the best. Yeah, I said it. I’m better than my father, Han, ever was. Can ya believe that? Dad sure can’t. He started using hair dye to cover up that gray; he’ll deny that up one side of the galaxy and down the other, by the way. Mom can’t believe it either...like that @#%$ cares! Ha! No, I’m not bitter. Just a smart ass.

Don’t get me wrong though. I’m not some steely-eyed criminal. I’m not a renegade pocket thief, or a two-bit hustler, nor a small time juvenile delinquent. I’m not cold. I’m not without heart, soul, or feelings. In fact, sometimes I’m just downright.....Well.....I’ll let you form your own opinion of me.

I present to you the following. Ya might call it a love story...I don’t though. I’m not sure what to call it. A drama, I suppose, would be a good thing to call it...yet it doesn’t quite do it justice. I suggest you read and see.

They say some people are likes birds in gilded cages. For those of you who aren’t familiar with this phrase, let me break it down fo’ a brotha’. In other words, what it means is they are like beautiful wild birds who are caged in golden, sparkling cages. They are fed well, kept healthy, and seen after quiet well...but they aren’t happy. The wild bird was to be free, not caged, no matter how wonderful the cage they reside in.

I think this whole gilded cage bit fits me well. From the start, I’ve been a bird in a gilded cage. I was born millions of feet above the planet of Corellia. That in itself is a weird start. Not to mention I was a twin. The older twin in fact. Bah, but that’s old news, right? You want to hear the nitty-gritty, eh?

...I thought so.

Things were good, I suppose, when I and my brother were babies. I don’t really remember ‘cause....well....I was a baby. The first thing I do remember, however, is sitting in my playroom. I was stacking blocks...or something like that. Jacen, my twin brother, was coloring in the windowsill. And our newborn baby brother, Anakin, was resting peacefully in his playpen. There was a scream, and a yell. My mother burst into the playroom and grabbed up my baby brother, my father stormed in shortly afterwards. She screamed, he screamed, the baby screamed. Jacen and I whimpered and clung to each other. Our parents had never fought in front of us before, even though we knew it went on. Then...she slapped him.

At that moment my entire view of my mother changed. She went from grumpy old sourpuss, to a big ol’ meanie. She had slapped my beloved Daddy, and he looked like he was gonna cry. Well, I promptly walked over and kicked her in the shin...which promptly got me pushed back onto my ass. I don’t remember what happened after that, since I was crying so hard. When it was all over though, my mother and baby brother weren’t around, neither was Jacen. From that day on, it was mostly me and Dad. Oh sure, Mom and the boys were around, but she stayed gone and busy–on purpose–and she’d always take the boys with her. At six years old, I didn’t understand. I didn’t know why Mommy didn’t like Daddy. I didn’t know why my brothers were never around to play with me. So, I had to grow up faster than most kids. I had to make my father my playmate, and Daddy didn’t like to play with blocks and coloring books.

My Dad liked ships, and some whispered word that I didn’t understand till many years later...smuggling. It was his deity, his life, his passion. He cared for nothing more than to work on his ship, hang out with Uncle Lando and Uncle Chewie, and smuggle. Mother didn’t like it...that I figured out on my own. My brothers disapproved, but only because Mother told them to. I, however, was intrigued. This thing called smuggling must have been awful fun, because he left to do it a lot.

From age six to age nine, I had three main parents: Dad, of course, and my ‘uncles’ Lando and Chewbacca. They were my heros; they were my friends; and I loved them more than anything. I don’t think I would have passed primary school without Chewie and Lando. The three of us shacked up together when my father was out of town and my mother couldn’t be found. I hated staying with the old witch anyways.

And so things went...
Dad slowed down in his smuggling when I turned ten. He stayed at home more, tried to become a little more respectable. This, unfortunately for me, made my mother come around more. It was good to see my brothers, but seeing her was a different story. Eventually, my parents became ‘normal’ again. They even started sleeping in the same room, which came as a stomach-churning shock to all three of us kids. By the time I and Jacen turned twelve, things were looking up. Our parents were together and happy. We had graduated primary school. Our kid brother was an amazing force user. Life was good and times were sweet. The Solos could do no wrong. Then it happened...

One day after coming in from playing with my pal Zekk, I found mine and Jacen’s bags packed. I knew that couldn’t be good...and it wasn’t. They were shipping us off to our Uncle’s Jedi Academy. Jacen was ecstatic...I would have rather hanged myself by my shoelaces. Uncle Luke was a nice guy, but a real nerdy fella who pushed his Jedi hocus-pocus on everything and everyone. He was a nutnut sometimes, even though he did mean well.

No one can say I didn’t try though. I gave the Jedi bit my best shot. I was pretty good too. ...ok, ok..so I was fair............I sucked alright?! I sucked horridly at everything. Last of the class. The lowest GPA in recorded Jedi history. I uberstunk, and everyone knew it. Luke tried to play it off as me not paying attention enough or some bullshit like that, but the truth was just too painful to play off. I felt like a failure, and I didn’t take that too well.

By my sixteenth birthday, I’d had enough.

Ok, so...maybe I was a little brash in my decision making. Maybe I didn’t look before I leaped, but I had just cause, damn it!

Those bloody brothers of mine...the picture of Jedi, the image of Knight, the perfect vision of Galaxy Protectors. They were so good at it. They were so natural when holding a saber or useing mind tricks or meditating. They were born for it, especially Anakin. He was amazing...even though it’s all just hocus-pocus. And no, I’m not bitter! Stop thinking that and pay attention.

So there I was. I wasn’t an outcast, but I felt like one. I sucked, and they ruled. It was more than I could bear. I hate being a failure, that’s why I never failed at anything else. Ya really can’t say I failed at being a Jedi; I just took a hiatus, for life. You see, there never was really a point where I said to myself, “Jai, ya suck. Let’s forget this and move on.” No. No, I never said that...In fact. I said quite the opposite to myself. I told myself that this was now do or die. It was either become a Jedi or f*cking die trying. ...and I almost did.

You see, I had this crazy idea. I knew that my Uncle Luke kept all his records, meetings, and assignments on his personal datapad. And I also knew that whatever his agenda said, was exactly what he did. So...one day, my uncle fell subject to a cold that was going around the school. I decided to play nurse and made him some soup, and took it up to him. While the old man was downing the broth, I slipped out of the room with the datapad, saying I had to use the ladies room. I went in there and gave a mission I knew that was coming up to me instead of to the other Jedi that had been assigned to it.

Sneaky, aren’t I?

Well, to make a long story short, by the next Wednesday I was on a transport bound for Tatooine. It was great. No parents. No brothers. No Masters. Just me, my lightsaber, and the wind in my hair....ok, the sand too. I expected to get away from it all, but Mos Eisley was a bit much. So, I goofed off for a bit. I wasn’t due back for a week anyways, and all I had to do was talk to a Hutt. Yeah, that’s right. A Hutt...and not just any Hutt, but a cousin of Jabba’s that had somehow began occupy his old palace with enough deadly arsenal to implode Coruscant and the whole Corellian sector in two seconds flat. Of course, I had no clue who Jabba was or even what a Hutt was like, aside from what they looked like. My parents liked to keep me and my brothers a bit sheltered from their past.

Anyways, after a few days, I made the trek to the Huttese place.

It's been 3 years since I've been on the run from the Hutts. This story here tells why...

I had just been posted to guard duty as majordomo at the Hutts Place, doing some undercover Sith work. I had been there for 1 month, ever since my 20th birthday. And I had yet to find evidence of what I was looking for.

Ah, Miss Jaina Solo. And I was told there was going to be a Jedi Master on her way, NOT a Jedi Knight. Oh well, shite happens, then you flush, I always say. This had proved to be rather interesting though...as you'll see.

I awaited for Miss Solo to climb the stairs to the door, as majordomo, it was my job to announce her arrival to my boss. A moment later, she attempted to stride past me, but I carefully...gently...No...I firmly put my arm out to block her path. As soon as she stopped, the snobby little Jedi knight shot a piercing brown gaze at me. I rolled my metallic silver eyes, and made it obvious to her that I was not amused by her stare.

"Excuse me, miss, but I was requested to arrive here. Now please move aside." She attempted to move my arm as she spoke; so brazen this one was.

"I am aware of your arrival, Miss Solo. However, you must be announced, so please wait here. If you do not, I will be forced to take you to a holding cell." I told her, blocking her way more by holding the door frame.

The little girl who called herself a 'Jedi Knight' scoffed and took a step back. "Fine, whatever. Do what you must. But make it snappy. I have other places to be."

I gave her a short bow and exited to announce her to my employer. I came back out to where she was to wait and found her gone, as I suspected I would. I had been prepared for this. My eyes closed, and concentrating, I found her force signature. She IS a Solo, after all, and wasn't that hard to find. So I went over to where she was and soundlessly stepped up behind her, drawing one of my blasters from one of my thigh holsters. "Find anything you like?" I asked her.

Just as she turned around to respond to me, I lashed out with the blaster in my left hand, slamming the butt against her thick skull with a loud crack. After that, she hit the floor with a dull thud, then remained otherwise still.

"Damned hard headed little Jedi."

I had picked her up rather easily, and swung her over my shoulder. I carried her down a flight of stairs, then down another flight of stairs all the way down to a hidden sub-basement where the holding cells were kept. I opened a cell
and tossed the kid in none too kindly, letting her land face first and split a lip open. Having chuckled rather evilly, I slammed the door shut, which awakened the young Jedi Knight. I gave her a smirk and just stood back, watching her carefully to see if she would attempt an escape. All I was informed of, was to take Miss Solo to her holding cell; regardless of her blantent disrespect for orders I had given her to obey, I was not allowed to kill her myself. The Hutts had big plans for that girl, and right then, it was to kill her...themselves...slowly. A few moments later, I received a message on my comlink, saying that they would use her as a smuggler. Apparently, she was worth more to them alive rather than dead. So I was given the order to have a slave tattoo put upon her.

God. Damned. Jaina. Solo. As I sit here thinking back on my badly acted past, I also remember my feelings of her. At first, when I first saw her, she looked like a hard-ass, someone who was rude and obnoxious like me. Someone I could have grown to like after some time had passed. Obviously, I had been wrong. She was worse than I had imagined. The way her attitude was, she should have been a Sith Disciple instead of a Jedi Knight. She sure was nasty and bad-tempered and VERY stubborn. Wouldn't have been hard for her to have made Sith Master.

Three fragging years of running and hiding and dodging the Hutts at every little moment have passed since our first meeting. Now, a Shadow Jedi, I'd hoped the slight change in my force pattern would have throw the bloody Hutts off guard. That was not the case as I found out yesterday. I was on my way to Corellia for power converters when I was suddenly attacked on my YT-1300 called Jade's Dragon, all because of that b*tchy little so-called Jedi Knight's services had become more valuable to them than my services.

I tell ya, once I get my hands on that.....that.....I DON'T EVEN HAVE A NAME FOR THE LIKES OF HER....I'm gonna rip her a new @#%$, Shadow Jedi or not. I'll risk becoming Sith just to get a sliver-of-an-inch even with her. And my female black panther Sumohn is gonna help me...

Right now, I am merely reflecting on a bad past and lurking somewhere on Coruscant, just biding my time, patiently, waiting for the day that Solo and I meet again...

Ya know something...? Some people just can’t take a joke. That EJ...what a nutcase. She should have been thrown in the looney bin years ago. A lot of aggression, she must not have been hugged as a child, I dunno... Anyways, back to the subject at hand. Me.

The crackpot was right about one thing, though. I wasn’t Jedi-ish, but she didn’t have to bloody my lip over it. She’s so aggressive, I’m tellin’ ya. Gah! I’m getting off the subject again...Anyways, so that was how I “screwed up my life”. At least, that’s what they say. I think getting thrown in the Hutt’s clink was one of the best things that’s happened to me. Ok, so I could’ve done without the beating and the starvation...and the tattoo. Damn tattoo, I hate it. It’s still there too. Here, let me roll up my sleeve...

See? Yeah. Gruesome, eh? My mother saw it and threw up. It was great! You shoulda....there I go getting off the topic again, geesh!

So anyways, like Miss Anger-Management said, the Hutts were gonna kill me, but at the last minute decided to make me into a smuggler. They found out just who I was, ya see, and figured I had some of my old man in me. They were right...

It wasn’t two months later that I was their top cash-cow. I raked in double of what everyone else brought in combined. One by one, they would send me out to ‘rid the family’ of the members who just weren’t 'up to snuff'. Ok, so that included EJ...but she just hasn’t learned to let bygones be bygones. Anyways, by the end of five months, it was just me, EJ, and some little rat-looking dude named Ryyoke. Rat-Boy took care of finances, EJ was the crowd-pleaser, and Yours Truly was the criminal mastermind. I was the Hutt’s top smuggler, top killer, top thief, and top saboteur. There was none better, and they made sure of that. I was in top condition at seventeen years old and couldn’t be beaten. Every other smuggler was thirty or older, and didn't work or train every waking moment of every day. I was always either working, or in the gym or sym-room being trained. I was kicking major ass.

Then...I got bored. Everyday was the same scene...I woke up, killed a few people, washed the blood off my hands, went to the gym, did a few runs, killed a few people, blew up a few buildings, killed a few people, wreaked a few ships, killed a few people, came back and went to bed. And the next morning, I’d start the whole cycle over again. I’ve killed more people than I can count. I kept track for awhile, but after I imploded that office building, I just couldn’t keep up.

Ya know....I’m gonna share a little secret with you folks. This is something I’ve never said aloud before..but...I really do feel bad about killing all those people. A good sixty percent of everyone that I killed were just innocent bystanders that couldn’t be allowed to live. I’ve had more people get on their knees before me and beg for me not to shoot them. It’s a hard business, killing and plundering. That’s why I left the Hutts. After ten months of faithful service, I busted out of there. Wasn’t too hard. I took the ship they’d given me, the ‘Millennium Jade Falcon’, on a run, and just didn’t come back. I didn’t bother with hiding out. Oh, sure, they sent bounty hunters and crooked cops after me...but they had trained me too well. I killed all the killers. To each his own, eh?

Well, my own was smuggling. That was the only craft they taught me that I really enjoyed. It didn’t hurt people. It didn’t get blood on my hands. It couldn’t harm innocent bystanders. And it didn’t stab at my conscience during the night.

I took up smuggling full time, about three years ago, I haven’t lost a wink of sleep...

Alright, let's back up for a moment here. Jai has had her say about her side of the story, but let's go back to the beginning and talk about the real Jaina Solo. We're twins, that much she got right, but she forgot to say a lot of things about her...(Jai is going to kill me)...

Things were going well during our childhood; we had everything we ever wanted. Toys, money, food, droids, sims, everything.....except there was one thing that Jai and I lacked: attention from our family members. There was no real place for us to fit in; we were just two young Force-sensitive twins in a galaxy that was pre-occupied with war and turmoil. In a place like that, with so many threats, it is easy for two small lives to fall through the cracks. Jai and I did just that. I don't want to sound like a cheesy, stuck-up, rich brat...this is just how it happened.

Jai told you about the fight that split our family like a bluffavian egg; what she didn't tell you is that it wasn't just a spontaneous incident. There had been tension in the air for months prior to it; I don't know if Jai didn't know, or if she has willingly blocked it out of her memory. That night was inevitable, and it was then that Jai and I really started to connect as twins. Anakin was always off with our mother, and we were left alone with droids to care for us. Not a good thing for children to grow up with, but we lived. We stayed together, following each other, and quickly learning from the other's mistakes. It was when we went to the Jedi Academy that things started to strain on her.

You see... Jai was not one that liked the whole 'Jedi' thing. Looking back, I can't say that I do either. Anakin and I took it easily though, it came naturally to Anakin, and, well, I just wanted to upstage him. Jai tried though, she probably tried more than Anakin and I combined, but she just couldn't get it. It was one day, during practice, that I realize Jai and I where going to end up separating. We were in the Docking Bay, I watched as Jai was fixing some ship, muttering to herself about how much she hated the place, and how she wanted to go off on her own. I know now that she didn't know I was there, but that was the time that I should have stopped her.

The day she left, I knew something was wrong. I had rolled over in the middle of the night, and had a strange feeling in the pack of my mind that something was wrong. I walked down to the Meditation Chamber, and that was when Uncle Luke told me that Jaina was gone. My world ripped apart in that second; those few words tore through me and forever changed my future. It was then that I had set off to find her, alone. I left Anakin, Luke, everything behind on Yavin-4. The only thing to guide me was my anger, vengeance, and the Force. That was the night that I fell into the Darkside.

My first stop was the polar Ice Caps on Coruscant. That was where Jai and I had spent many winters talking about our parents and what had happened with them. We spoke of becoming famous, of becoming Jedi Knights....I should have known then that she wasn't really into it, but she faked it for my sake. Now that I think about it, she did a lot of things for me. She would have given her life for me, and I was too blind and arrogant to have helped her when she needed it.......

.....back to the story. Needless to say, she wasn't on Coruscant, and I check countless other space ports and docking bays through out the galaxy, trying to find her. It seemed that Jaina Solo had ceased to exist, and I was left alone, again. I joined the Rebellion, quit. I joined the Jedi, again, quit. I found some Darksiders, joined and quit. Finally, I joined a smugglers group, and left after hearing a rumor about a female smuggler named ‘J’. I dropped everything I was doing, even stole a ship, and left for Smuggler's Run to find my sister. Alas, no luck.

I had given up. There was no way that I could find her anymore. I had come to think one of two things had happened. Either Jaina didn't want to be found, and had changed so much that I would never find her. Or, she was dead. Knowing Jai the way I did, the second one seemed more likely. Though, I was wrong, and the galaxy hadn't given up on young Jaina Solo. It was a chance meeting in a two bit bar that brought me back to Jai. It was then I saw how different she had become. After that five minute meeting, Jai and I parted ways, and I haven't heard from her since. I didn't tell her then, but it hurt me more then anything, and sometimes, I think it would have been easier if she had died...and...maybe, in a way, she did.