*
Depression.
Everything was gray. With resources stretched thin, with overpopulation crowding the remaining industrial worlds of the Coalition, there was simply no more extra credits for the championing of efforts like color varieties. Money went to the more important items necessary for surival like food, pre-fab housing, construction work tapping into existing water, sewage lines increasing living space and, of course, military needs. As a result, emergency clothing and the like took on a utilitarian aspect rather than the previously enjoyed individual perks.
It was customary for democracies to allow the individual his/her/it's right to express themselves however they want. It was a right of freedom that he and the Coalition military defended to the best of their ability.
But what happens when your ability is not good enough?
A bankrupt Coalition, or bankrupt world would do it's citizens no good if they continued to spend money in excess as in peacetime. The government was handling the loss of provinces (either by choice or not) rather well, or so Trajan thought.
They had decreased spending, beefed up oversight to ensure that corruption was kept to a minimum, and pretty much illicited the war-time cooperation of the various businesses throughout the Coalition.
It staved off depression of another sort and while the value of the Coalition credit went down, it did not become totally worthless.
Company bankruptcy had decreased tremendously as the government stabilized. The pullout of the Confederation drove many businesses into the ground as orders were suddenly cancelled. Various companies were left with overstocked inventories with no one to sell them too. Who in the Confederation would want to continue to purchase Pro-Coalition goods (flags, letterheads, uniforms, weapons, to name just a pitiful few) when they had their own priorities and nationistic pride to consider now?
Vespian had heard that the government was going to back up their official stand of mutual support and friendship with the Confederation and both governments were negotiating suitable trading relationship. This promised to reinvigorate the economy in the long term but for now, the Coalition was hurting from the break. And while the government was taking a more pragmatic approach to the former Coalition satellite, the populace was still bitter over the separation.
The political and civil backlash over the separation would die out over time but Trajan could not help but feel a sense of loss as Kashan and Confederation personnel left the Coalition military to take up positions in the Contegorian Navy once more.
As he sat outside under the cover attached to a restaurant, a familiar emotion suddenly surfaced. An emotion that took him back to the final days of the New Republic. They too had turned to utilitarian suffering under the Imperial Blockade that slowly squeezed Corellia and the Republic dry. There was a rumor going about that the Contegorian Confederation were toting themselves as the last hope of liberty in the galaxy even as they prepared their population for war.
What good was liberty if you still answered to martial oversight and compulsory military service?
These philosophical paradoxes perhaps were better left to the poets and historians. In any event, it really did not matter what the Confederation thought of themselves as the second coming of Luke Skywalker. It did not matter now what the collective agendas of the Empire, Gestalt Colonies, and the Commonwealth out of the Corporate Sector really were. That the Coalition still cared about the activities of these governmental entities was something of an enigma for everyone else seemed to put the Coalition out of their minds as if it was already dead.
It was not fair!
But who said the galaxy was fair?
Who were your friends really when political expedience mattered more than keeping your word?
No one else, however, had put so much effort into putting up a barrier against Imperial aggression the Galactic Coalition.
No one else had made such an investment in time, money and blood as the Coalition to combatting evil.
But no one ever seemed to recognize that. No, people were your allies and friends when you were strong and carried the people on confident rhetoric but when the going got tough, they disappeared and their supposed support dried up.
But could he really blame them?
Not where fear rules their hearts.
People wanted to stave off such fear with tangible results and looked at the failure of the Coalition military as a failure of the Coalition's policy....as a failure of the Coalition's ideology.
But, did losing to evil make the resistance of evil suddenly invalid?
It was a preposterous thought and that bitter emotion swelled.
How many have died for the flag of the Coalition? How many had died for the light that they stood for?
The failure of the Coalition's military to defeat the Empire had resulted in a loss of confidence. The ill-conceived attack on Bilbringi was half-heartedly supported by the Coalition's various member worlds and as soon as it had failed, that fear rippled through the various member worlds like a cancer. It only took the agreement of Prime Minister Regrad to Emperor Hyfe's condition of setting up a diplomatic embassy on the Confederation world of Metalorn for them to begin separatist talk and action.
Using the advantage of hindsight, he could plainly see that the Empire made good use of the fear they struck in their enemies. They knew exactly how the insular Contegorians would react to the condition and they knew the Coalition government was in no position to enforce any directive required of member worlds. The Bilbringi attack had seen to that. The Empire had successfully splintered the Coalition by encouraging individual self interest rather than the interest of the whole.
And with each sector of the Coalition looking out for their own local gains they sacrificed their unified cause on the alter of fear.
Yes, the Empire knew them better than they knew themselves. And that was why they lost.
And now?
Now, instead of one unified government of purpose, they were two. Or three or four.
Governments and races that may want one thing, the defeat of the Empire, but act for the good of not the galaxy, but their own self interests. For what government could afford not too?
The Coalition House of Representatives was sparcely populated nowadays but the function of government still moved ever forward. And even the brave taking of responsibility by the Prime Minister, however, was not enough for Trajan to shake away his own feeling of responsibility for the state of the Coalition.
He, they.. the Coalition Navy had let Prime Minister Regrad, the House of Representatives and the Coalition people down. If the Contegorians, Colonies, the Coalition population became fearful and felt their confidence draining away hope, it was only because Trajan and the Coalition military had failed them.
And that too was a bitter pill to swallow. That perhaps had they succeeded in better defending the Coalition, perhaps it's people would not be fleeing Coalition space like rats fleeing a sinking ocean-going vessel.
He sighed and took another sip of the warm broth that had become standard fare. Especially with winter on the horizon.
"Why, Captain. You look simply morose!" boomed the hearty voice of Captain Globbula from behind.
Trajan turned in surprise and his features lit up, his depressing thoughts brushed away for the time being.
"Captain, how the hell are you?"
Vespian's alien counterpart's stomach shook up and down with merth, his tentacles finding a suitable grasp on the chair opposite Trajan and deftly maneuvering his large bulk onto it's frame.
"The Virtue has finally been repaired. Burned out her engines again travelling two and fro between Onyx and the Coalition during those damned two weeks."
"I hear you did good work," Trajan complimented the other with respect.
"Thank the Cooperative. That Tinman, Smarts, really knows his stuff. His organization helped the exodus proceed as smoothly as it did."
"Sounds like he should have been in the East," commented Trajan as a server droid came up to take Globbula's order.
"He was. I think." the large Captain remarked. "Beat it all the way to Onyxian Commonwealth in record time. He probably needs engine replacements as well."
"How is your Azguard, Pip?" Trajan asked wryly. The reputation of the Virtue's helmsman had traveled ahead of Globbula and his vessel.
The large bulbous alien laughed at the question and Vespian could not help but grin at the infectuous emotion. "Pip may have a bad habit of sticking his reptilian nose where it's not wanted and making other's business his own, but a more loyal crewman I would be hardpressed to find." His lips puckered in anticipation as the serving droid brought him his own bowl of warm broth. As he sipped, holding the bowl between two tentacles, "The Empire doesn't make it easy with their claim that the Azguards are a genetically engineered creation."
Trajan pursed his own lips in a scowl, "I don't give a damn what the Empire 'claims'. An Azguard has two brains and in my experience, two brains are better than one."
Captain Globbula barked out a laugh in surprise nearly spilling his broth, "Why Captain, do not say that to Helmsman Pip as he would wholeheartedly and quite disagreeably agree with you."
Captain Vespain leaned back in his chair and grunted, "We've got enough to worry about rather than listening to Imperial garbage, Pro-Contegorian or Commonwealth propaganda.."
"What's wrong with Contegorian or Commonwealth Propaganda?"
Trajan snorted, "What's right about it? Listening to them you'd think the Commonwealth was the mecca of all utopias! And the Contegorians? The last hope of the galaxy?!"
Globbula chuckled, taking another sip of his drink. "They are young governments, Trajan. Give them the chance to express the arrogance of the young."
"It's just," Trajan paused before sighing in resignation, "It's just a bloody waste. Their arrogance will eventually land them in trouble just when we've healed our wounds and what will they do? They will expect us to come in and save their collective rear ends or some sort of military support."
Globbula shrugged, "Well, we'll give it to them if our politicians agree to do so."
"At the expense of how many lives this time?" Vespian bit back, his bitterness breaking out.
"Then vote for someone else during elections. Or quit the military, Captain!" Globbula remarked sharply. "You know as well as I do that we go where we are ordered to go. It's not our place to second guess.."
"Don't give me that 'duty crap'. If someone had questioned the stupidity of their orders, the Clone Wars might not have been so devestating, Palpatine might not have been trumpeted into office. THAT's the problem with just following orders, with doing our duty! We assume our leaders have our interests at heart with the decisions they make and we blindly go along with it. But for us to do otherwise would break down the discipline of the service. So we do follow orders and we do not second guess... but the people we protect? They second guess us all the time! Our member states, they second guess us and act against us by dividing us!"
"Is it any wonder the Empire reigns supreme?" Trajan concluded darkly.
Captain Globbula fell silent for a while, letting the steam from his broth catch the cooling air and be carried away until he shifted uncomfortably and pointedly asked, "What is eating at you, Captain?"
Trajan Vespian sat there lost in his own gloom for a few minutes. Before Globbula could prod him again the human began to speak slowly, as if treading the mire of painful and dark memories.
"There was a man in the New Republic Navy that I respected very much. He was tactically brilliant, a charismatic leader and man who made you stand straighter just to be in his presence. He was a man who loved the Republic with every ounce of his being and stood firm against Imperial aggression."
Trajan stopped.
"And for one brief moment in time, I was proud to call him a friend."
Globbula suddenly made a connection with Trajan's recent experiences to what he was stating about his past. "Just like you called the Kashan Shocktroopers your friends as well.." he murmured in an undertone.
"The New Republic's situation was not unlike what the Coalition is facing now. Our territories were being systematically cut off from the Corellia. Rather than fight for what was right, they took the path of least resistance and left the Republic leaving the Core more desparate than ever.
But through it all, this man never once let desperation get the better of him. Stalwart the man was."
Trajan's eyes flashed darker, "But the Empire continued to squeeze harder until fear and hopelessness began to assert itself in both government and military establishments. It was thought that Gash Jiren had died on Ruunan, or perhaps Naboo... Our Chief of State was rousing the Jedi Order after the Sith attack on the Temple presumably organizing help to meet the Empire's latest actions..."
Trembling hands brought the broth to Trajan's lips as he relived that nearly forgotten time. "This man was effectively the ranking Republic Military Leader and we would have followed him into hell and back if he but ordered it."
Globbula saw the other's eyes begin to water and he leaned forward inspite of himself. "What happened?" he asked softly.
Captain Vespian's lips curled in rising bitterness. "He began to see himself as the Republic's only hope and brilliant as he was, he could not stop his good intentions from crossing the line to self interest."
Globbula's eyes rose in surprise but seeing once more the connection. "He quit the Republic? He took soldiers with him?"
Trajan barked out a harsh laugh that drew the attention of several others nearby. Ignoring their stares, the former New Republic Commander narrowed his eyes and smirked, "No... he considered himself the Republic's only hope. He initiated a coup to seize control of the civilian government supplanting it with his military rank.
It made a sort of sense now. The trimming away of corruption's fat. The efficient handling of resources being placed under military and therefore, his oversight..."
Trajan looked up at the other Captain with a pained expression. "His intention was GOOD! He hated the Empire with every fiber of his being and he loved the Republic, his wife, his daughter, his soldiers..."
Globbula sighed himself and stared at the broth before him. It was getting cold but it was nothing compared to the emptiness he now felt. "To defeat the enemy, he became his enemy."
Vespian nodded. "And he threatened to take the entire Republic with him. His love of the Republic would have destroyed it. In the midst of combat with the Empire, he would have destroyed it."
"As the blockade of Corellia was entering a critical phase for us, Gash Jiren returned as did Leia Organa to oppose the coup. In the nick of time, as it turned out."
"Is that what scares you?" Globbula asked quietly.
"Captain, all this man needed to do was step back after the legitimate leaders announced themselves." Trajan looked at the other Captain, "But Hiram was already too far gone. In his mind, perhaps he felt he had crossed the point of no return but he tried to play out the coup. He would have turned Republic soldiers against Republic soldiers...brother against brother ... and he was prepared to self destruct his own capital warship not to win but to prevent those he considered the enemy, the Republic's legitimate leaders, from winning.
The cause was already lost in his mind. If it could not come about by his hand, then it was not worth winning. If he could not be the one to defeat the Empire, then no one would."
Globbula frowned, "But Hiram Drayson was defeated. His coup failed."
Trajan Vespian took a deep breath of the chilling air and felt a slight pain in his lungs as if his veins were screaming for the cold oxygen. "Globbula, Hiram Drayson was consumed by a madness...an anger that went deep and he never forgave the Republic for what he thought was a betrayal. I do not know what happened to Hiram or Nancy but I do know that his daughter, Bhindi carries this anger with her. It is what makes her such a dangerous enemy for you see, to do battle with anyone claiming the ideology of the Republic, it becomes personal to her."
The alien Captain shook his head. "So much anger in that young woman. She's risen high but it must be eating away at her soul."
"If she still has one.." murmured Vespian. "But that is not what scares me."
Globbula waited patiently.
"When the Confederation pulled out, I felt just as betrayed as Hiram must have felt. I too was gripped in such an anger that if Prime Minister Regrad ordered us to keep the Confederation in the Coalition by any and all force possible, I would have done so joyfully. I would have punished them for the Separatist that they were....just like the Clone Wars."
Globbula just shook his head. "The Coalition would have simply been ripped apart farther. A Coalition Civil War would have merely ensured that the Empire would laugh all the harder at us. Like they almost did during Drayson's coup. A New Republic Civil War would have simply made the Empire's conquest happen that much quicker. As it was, the Republic lived for another year."
Trajan Vespian began to laugh. So much so that tears began to stream from his face. "Don't you see, Globbula, the Empire still won! Prime Minister Regrad showed the same wisdom in his politics as Gash Jiren and Leia Organa in not provoking a Civil War that would leave us all as losers in the face of a dark Empire. But we are still fractured! Politically, we may be this forgive and forget but I tell you, people are raw over the Contegorian separation! You hear it on the streets now!
Sayings like, 'I can do it faster than a Contegorian stabbing you in the back', 'I'll leave you faster than a Contegorian' or 'More solid than a Contegorian's word'." People said these things about Hiram in the aftermath."
Trajan closed his eyes. "I fear our cause is lost, Captain."
The large alien rubbed his double chin with a tentacle, "If the Contegorians want to go their separate way.."
"Just like Hiram Drayson. He eventually ended up going his separate way. And look at the devestation to our cause he finally became in the incarnation of Bhindi. Don't you see.. history is simply repeating itself. The Empire is using the same damned tactic it always has and we fall for it all the damned time because we no longer value our cause."
"You saying we don't care about liberty and freedom, Captain?"
"I am saying, Captain, that when we think of freedom and liberty we think of it in such glowing utopian terms because we think of it in terms of the greater good. But in actual reality, when we ACT with full mind of our liberties and freedoms we ACT according to our own self interest and damn the greater good!"
As the alien Captain thought about that, Trajan whispered, "And that is why the Empire has snuffed out the flame of our cause."