Luke, Han and Leia would've all been played by Peter Sellers
Boba Fett goes down to the Cantina, gets drunk and exchanges stories with his favorite bartender, Lloyd
Return Of The Jedi : filmed entirely by candlelight!
In "A.I." fashion, a child with mechanical acting and wooden recitation of the lines will be cast as Anakin....oh, wait, you wanted DIFFERENT, didn't you?
"Open the Blast Doors! Open the Blast Doors!"..."I'm sorry, Dave, I can't do that..."
Imperial Death March? A single recurring note played on a piano
Luke and his droogs hanging out in the Mos Eisley Blue Milk Bar
A cowboy-hat wearing Han Solo riding a proton torpedo into the Death Star reactor
All Padawans recite "This is my light saber. There are many like it but this one is mine. My light saber is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my light saber is useless."
by lowbridge
Space battles without noise
R2-D2: His Love Is Real... But He Is Not
Luke's new artificial hand keeps trying to strangle him
The Death Star would have a revolving gym
They would all have a toilet scene
The secret entrance to the bunker would be behind a huge garden maze
The spectacular 40 minute hallucinogenic scene when Luke enters the cave on Dagobah
Han and Leia's relationship may have become a bit more physical whilst Han gets involved with a weird cult
Luke: "How can you shoot women and children?" Stormtrooper: "Easy ... you don't lead 'em as much!"
Grand Moff Tarkin: "Vader, you can't fight in here -- this is the War Room!"
'Duel of the Fates' replaced by "Singin' In the Rain'
Opening scene of Star Destroyer chasing Corvette lasts half the movie
The entire saga would be filmed with Steadicam
In ROTJ Palpatine fries Luke with Force Lightning, while singing "Singing in the Rain"
If you think the podracing scene is long and pointless now....
Really corny up close images of Luke's eyes...
The first movie would never have been finished because Kubrick would have insisted on the creation of actual blasters just to get that "real sizzle" feel
Anakin has an imaginary friend named Tony
After touching the big black monolith, Wicket clubs Chief Chirpa to death with a discarded femur bone
When Luke is captured in ROTJ, his eyes are pryed open and he is forced to watch repeated screenings of "Corvette Summer"
Sex, sex, and more sex
Aided by a little CGI, Yoda screams "Mace Windu! I can walk!"
One episode is titled "Leilita"
Mos Espa full of gangs speaking Nadsat and ready for a little of the old ultraviolence, real horrorshow
C-3PO belts out "Daisy Daisy" while being dismantled by Cloud City technicians
. Everyone in the Jedi Council would be wearing gold masks
The last 20 minutes where the Death Star orbits around Yavin 4 in real time
"A Long Time Ago" given real-time realization on screen, resulting in a 3 billion year long opening scene
Jar Jar would be a psychotic maniac with a gun
Jedi Knights look suspiciously like Roman gladiators
Luke rides the torpedo!
Palpatine would strap Luke down, pin open his eyelids and make him watch the Holiday Special over and over and over...
C-3PO would have been a gigalo droid
Han would have been frozen in a monolith, and would have played a huge role in human evolution
TIE Fighters would have taken half an hour to move from one side of the screen to the other
6. Jar-Jar Binks killed by Vietcong sniper fire in first scene of movie
Lots and lots of slow tracking shots, with plenty of closeups of mad faces
Beethoven would have been playing in the background while Han was being tortured on Cloud City
Ackbar goes nuts and starts screaming about the Imperial plot to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids
After intense training on Dagobah, Luke would have went Section 8 and killed Yoda
1. "Heeeeeeeeeeeeere's Annie!"
Boba Fett goes down to the Cantina, gets drunk and exchanges stories with his favorite bartender, Lloyd
Return Of The Jedi : filmed entirely by candlelight!
In "A.I." fashion, a child with mechanical acting and wooden recitation of the lines will be cast as Anakin....oh, wait, you wanted DIFFERENT, didn't you?
"Open the Blast Doors! Open the Blast Doors!"..."I'm sorry, Dave, I can't do that..."
Imperial Death March? A single recurring note played on a piano
Luke and his droogs hanging out in the Mos Eisley Blue Milk Bar
A cowboy-hat wearing Han Solo riding a proton torpedo into the Death Star reactor
All Padawans recite "This is my light saber. There are many like it but this one is mine. My light saber is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my light saber is useless."
by lowbridge
Space battles without noise
R2-D2: His Love Is Real... But He Is Not
Luke's new artificial hand keeps trying to strangle him
The Death Star would have a revolving gym
They would all have a toilet scene
The secret entrance to the bunker would be behind a huge garden maze
The spectacular 40 minute hallucinogenic scene when Luke enters the cave on Dagobah
Han and Leia's relationship may have become a bit more physical whilst Han gets involved with a weird cult
Luke: "How can you shoot women and children?" Stormtrooper: "Easy ... you don't lead 'em as much!"
Grand Moff Tarkin: "Vader, you can't fight in here -- this is the War Room!"
'Duel of the Fates' replaced by "Singin' In the Rain'
Opening scene of Star Destroyer chasing Corvette lasts half the movie
The entire saga would be filmed with Steadicam
In ROTJ Palpatine fries Luke with Force Lightning, while singing "Singing in the Rain"
If you think the podracing scene is long and pointless now....
Really corny up close images of Luke's eyes...
The first movie would never have been finished because Kubrick would have insisted on the creation of actual blasters just to get that "real sizzle" feel
Anakin has an imaginary friend named Tony
After touching the big black monolith, Wicket clubs Chief Chirpa to death with a discarded femur bone
When Luke is captured in ROTJ, his eyes are pryed open and he is forced to watch repeated screenings of "Corvette Summer"
Sex, sex, and more sex
Aided by a little CGI, Yoda screams "Mace Windu! I can walk!"
One episode is titled "Leilita"
Mos Espa full of gangs speaking Nadsat and ready for a little of the old ultraviolence, real horrorshow
C-3PO belts out "Daisy Daisy" while being dismantled by Cloud City technicians
. Everyone in the Jedi Council would be wearing gold masks
The last 20 minutes where the Death Star orbits around Yavin 4 in real time
"A Long Time Ago" given real-time realization on screen, resulting in a 3 billion year long opening scene
Jar Jar would be a psychotic maniac with a gun
Jedi Knights look suspiciously like Roman gladiators
Luke rides the torpedo!
Palpatine would strap Luke down, pin open his eyelids and make him watch the Holiday Special over and over and over...
C-3PO would have been a gigalo droid
Han would have been frozen in a monolith, and would have played a huge role in human evolution
TIE Fighters would have taken half an hour to move from one side of the screen to the other
6. Jar-Jar Binks killed by Vietcong sniper fire in first scene of movie
Lots and lots of slow tracking shots, with plenty of closeups of mad faces
Beethoven would have been playing in the background while Han was being tortured on Cloud City
Ackbar goes nuts and starts screaming about the Imperial plot to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids
After intense training on Dagobah, Luke would have went Section 8 and killed Yoda
1. "Heeeeeeeeeeeeere's Annie!"