A lot of these shorts are from the end of the war, since a lot of things happened that are amusing. Don't take offence if I exagerate what you did or how you acted/reacted, remember, this is all spoof and jokes.
___________________________________________________________________________
Surrendering
INS News is on. Gash, who is wearing his favorite war-hat and Theren Geval expression, sits at a table of battle plans, moves tiny modle ships across a map of the galaxy.
"...And they can't go across the Ison Corridor, because the second fleet can cut them off. And Bespin is already lost, the fools should have held it! Now I can advance forces through here to counter a possible attack..."
Kas, who woke up at 3 a.m. to get a drink, spots Gash working fervently away.
"It's three in the morning, what are you doing up at this ungodly hour?"
"My plan is brilliant!" Rasps Gash, as he looks over all his carefully written notes "No matter what they do, we win! I've planned it to a tee, they have no hope of defeating us now-"
"We interrupt this news bulletin to bring you a special News Bulletin! It appears that under the temporary command of Dolash "don't hurt me" Dolash, Soverinty forces have surrendered across the board..."
Kas turns to see Gash, frozen at his table.
"Uh, gash? You ok?"
"Surrender? Surrender?!? They can't surrender! I havn't got an attack plan for a surrender!" He then collapses on his battle plans.
Kas pauses, gets a bottle of water, and goes back to bed.
____________________________________________________________________
Nationstates
Gash wakes up, and goes downstairs. Kas isn't about, which is odd. He looks outside, and sees that a number of people who are usually out at this time of day are not. Confused, he walks to the edge of TRF.
There, a small group of TRFers, including Kas, sit about running their Nationstates countries.
"What are you doing?" Says Gash.
"Nationstates" says Kas, matter-of-factly. "A game where you get to run your own country. You can name it, give it a flag, decide issues, everything."
Gash raises an eyebrow. "Ok then, you go on with your little game."
"What have you got to do today then?"
"Conquer a few countries. But its' different though."
"Ah. How, pray-tell?"
"It's in space."
...
"Hey, shut up."
___________________________________________________________________________
Girff, we hardly knew ye.
The Imperial War-room, a huge, stainless steel monolith in the center of TRF is active as over a dozen people run in and out, carrying vital messages and rapping off important reports. Orders are followed swiftly and concisely, and the organizational system is flawless.
Nearby, sit the well maintained and neat little block-houses that support the Cree'Ar and BDE military commands. Both are orderly, sensible, and efficient.
Down the road, below Al's Pizza Shop, the Lightside military command/fresh meat store-room meets to decide todays' events.
Griff, greatly worn out, stands next to the handful of associates he has remaining, and speaks to them solmly.
"This is not a time for giving up" He says "This is a time for action, a time for decision, a time for something to be done! I'm leaving."
He grabs his suitcase, makes a run for the door, tips his hat, and is gone.
"Well, what do we do now?"
"I dunno, but we gotta get out of here. Al wants to clean this place out again before the next meeting."
__________________________________________________________________________
New R&D Mods on the block
The R&D forum sits in disrepair. No one is taking care of the R&Ds, sitting around, gathering dust, and as Kas and Gash look down upon it, they frown.
"We need to get someone in here quick, look at the mess."
"Yeah Kas, but who would honestly want to waste their time hanging around here, arguing with people about R&Ds?"
"Well, what if we made it some sort of title?"
"That would work. But who could we find that's that guillible to take a tough job just for a title?"
*five seconds of looking around later*
"Ok, we've got Dolash, Sully, and Zell."
"When do we get our titles?"
"Soon, Sully."
"Can we have a mascot?"
"What? Oh yeah, sure."
"Glee!"
_________________________________________________________________________
A lot more then 72 hours
Imperial soldiers charge over the Soverinty defences. An Imperial general, leading the attack, is tripped by a Soverinty officer. The officer raises his Vibroblade and... and... and...
The soverinty forces freeze. The Imperial general, realizing what's going on, checks his watch.
"Damn, what's taking so long?"
Eventually, Dolash walks into the battle. He carefully places an "Under New Management" sign above the Soverinty Base. He looks around, takes some notes, and says "Carry On."
The battle resumes, and immeadietly all the soverinty forces hurl their weapons to the ground and wave white flags.
____________________________________________________________________________
Marth and Jan - urban legends!
Gash, Drayson, Gue, Kyric, Ahnk, and Dolash sit around a hastily constructed negotiations table. At one end, a pair of empty chairs read Marth and Jan. All that can be heard is the ticking of a clock.
The people already there sigh with bordom, twiddle their thumbs, doodle pictures of explosions, and flick paper footballs around.
"What's taking them so long, anyways?"
"Them?" says Ahnk, looking up from his doodles "There's no them, it's obvious it's just one person."
"That's not the problem" grumbles Gash "It's that they, or maybe just him, only ever shows up at the worst times."
"And you know what?" says Dolash, rocking his chair back and forth. "I heard that if you stand in front of a mirror and say Marth Meer ten times backwards, he appears and refuses to negotiate with you."
...
"So, howsabout I give you lots of ships and we all go home?"
"Sounds fair."
Just before they can shake on it, Jan and Meer appear at break-neck speeds, throwing themselves into their seats.
"We're here now, so to hell with all of these negotiations!"
_________________________________________________________________________________
Oh, those crazy Jedi
A jedi takes a nice, comfortable flight in his little ship across the galaxy.
As he passes Coruscant, screams reach his ears as the horrible oppressed people are beaten underfoot by the Empire. But he rides on in silence, completely unnoticing.
As he passes Xa'Fel, he hears the horrible, blood-curdling cries of the Sith, as they massacare innocent people en mass, sucking their souls themselves from the charnel pots of blood and ripped up little pieces. And yet he still flies on, relaxed.
Finally, as he passes by many regions of space, seeing the GLF commiting horrible acts of terrorism and killing many innocent people to further their own sick and twisted goals, he lifts his comm system and calls Theed, home of the Jedi.
"Master Snooboo"
"Yes, Jedi?"
"Have we any crusty Apple-pies in stock?"
"Yes, Jedi."
"Ah, good then. I'm coming home now."
____________________________________________________________________________
What the future holds for one prominent poster
Gash and Kas, relaxing at home, suddenly hear the distant wail of sirens. As the open the door and peek outside, two police cars and an ambulance from a mental hospital pull up outside a house across the road.
The police go in first, and there is the sound of a struggle. Then follows a team from the mental hospital. The struggle continues, and hysterical laughter follows.
The group leaves, bringing in tow Ahnk, who laughs hysterics and shouts the names of assorted genetalia as loud as he can. Finally, he is dragged into the ambulance and silenced with a large dose of morphine.
Kas and Gash sigh.
"We should have seen that coming."
"I'm surprised he evaded capture for so long."
___________________________________________________________________________
Surrendering
INS News is on. Gash, who is wearing his favorite war-hat and Theren Geval expression, sits at a table of battle plans, moves tiny modle ships across a map of the galaxy.
"...And they can't go across the Ison Corridor, because the second fleet can cut them off. And Bespin is already lost, the fools should have held it! Now I can advance forces through here to counter a possible attack..."
Kas, who woke up at 3 a.m. to get a drink, spots Gash working fervently away.
"It's three in the morning, what are you doing up at this ungodly hour?"
"My plan is brilliant!" Rasps Gash, as he looks over all his carefully written notes "No matter what they do, we win! I've planned it to a tee, they have no hope of defeating us now-"
"We interrupt this news bulletin to bring you a special News Bulletin! It appears that under the temporary command of Dolash "don't hurt me" Dolash, Soverinty forces have surrendered across the board..."
Kas turns to see Gash, frozen at his table.
"Uh, gash? You ok?"
"Surrender? Surrender?!? They can't surrender! I havn't got an attack plan for a surrender!" He then collapses on his battle plans.
Kas pauses, gets a bottle of water, and goes back to bed.
____________________________________________________________________
Nationstates
Gash wakes up, and goes downstairs. Kas isn't about, which is odd. He looks outside, and sees that a number of people who are usually out at this time of day are not. Confused, he walks to the edge of TRF.
There, a small group of TRFers, including Kas, sit about running their Nationstates countries.
"What are you doing?" Says Gash.
"Nationstates" says Kas, matter-of-factly. "A game where you get to run your own country. You can name it, give it a flag, decide issues, everything."
Gash raises an eyebrow. "Ok then, you go on with your little game."
"What have you got to do today then?"
"Conquer a few countries. But its' different though."
"Ah. How, pray-tell?"
"It's in space."
...
"Hey, shut up."
___________________________________________________________________________
Girff, we hardly knew ye.
The Imperial War-room, a huge, stainless steel monolith in the center of TRF is active as over a dozen people run in and out, carrying vital messages and rapping off important reports. Orders are followed swiftly and concisely, and the organizational system is flawless.
Nearby, sit the well maintained and neat little block-houses that support the Cree'Ar and BDE military commands. Both are orderly, sensible, and efficient.
Down the road, below Al's Pizza Shop, the Lightside military command/fresh meat store-room meets to decide todays' events.
Griff, greatly worn out, stands next to the handful of associates he has remaining, and speaks to them solmly.
"This is not a time for giving up" He says "This is a time for action, a time for decision, a time for something to be done! I'm leaving."
He grabs his suitcase, makes a run for the door, tips his hat, and is gone.
"Well, what do we do now?"
"I dunno, but we gotta get out of here. Al wants to clean this place out again before the next meeting."
__________________________________________________________________________
New R&D Mods on the block
The R&D forum sits in disrepair. No one is taking care of the R&Ds, sitting around, gathering dust, and as Kas and Gash look down upon it, they frown.
"We need to get someone in here quick, look at the mess."
"Yeah Kas, but who would honestly want to waste their time hanging around here, arguing with people about R&Ds?"
"Well, what if we made it some sort of title?"
"That would work. But who could we find that's that guillible to take a tough job just for a title?"
*five seconds of looking around later*
"Ok, we've got Dolash, Sully, and Zell."
"When do we get our titles?"
"Soon, Sully."
"Can we have a mascot?"
"What? Oh yeah, sure."
"Glee!"
_________________________________________________________________________
A lot more then 72 hours
Imperial soldiers charge over the Soverinty defences. An Imperial general, leading the attack, is tripped by a Soverinty officer. The officer raises his Vibroblade and... and... and...
The soverinty forces freeze. The Imperial general, realizing what's going on, checks his watch.
"Damn, what's taking so long?"
Eventually, Dolash walks into the battle. He carefully places an "Under New Management" sign above the Soverinty Base. He looks around, takes some notes, and says "Carry On."
The battle resumes, and immeadietly all the soverinty forces hurl their weapons to the ground and wave white flags.
____________________________________________________________________________
Marth and Jan - urban legends!
Gash, Drayson, Gue, Kyric, Ahnk, and Dolash sit around a hastily constructed negotiations table. At one end, a pair of empty chairs read Marth and Jan. All that can be heard is the ticking of a clock.
The people already there sigh with bordom, twiddle their thumbs, doodle pictures of explosions, and flick paper footballs around.
"What's taking them so long, anyways?"
"Them?" says Ahnk, looking up from his doodles "There's no them, it's obvious it's just one person."
"That's not the problem" grumbles Gash "It's that they, or maybe just him, only ever shows up at the worst times."
"And you know what?" says Dolash, rocking his chair back and forth. "I heard that if you stand in front of a mirror and say Marth Meer ten times backwards, he appears and refuses to negotiate with you."
...
"So, howsabout I give you lots of ships and we all go home?"
"Sounds fair."
Just before they can shake on it, Jan and Meer appear at break-neck speeds, throwing themselves into their seats.
"We're here now, so to hell with all of these negotiations!"
_________________________________________________________________________________
Oh, those crazy Jedi
A jedi takes a nice, comfortable flight in his little ship across the galaxy.
As he passes Coruscant, screams reach his ears as the horrible oppressed people are beaten underfoot by the Empire. But he rides on in silence, completely unnoticing.
As he passes Xa'Fel, he hears the horrible, blood-curdling cries of the Sith, as they massacare innocent people en mass, sucking their souls themselves from the charnel pots of blood and ripped up little pieces. And yet he still flies on, relaxed.
Finally, as he passes by many regions of space, seeing the GLF commiting horrible acts of terrorism and killing many innocent people to further their own sick and twisted goals, he lifts his comm system and calls Theed, home of the Jedi.
"Master Snooboo"
"Yes, Jedi?"
"Have we any crusty Apple-pies in stock?"
"Yes, Jedi."
"Ah, good then. I'm coming home now."
____________________________________________________________________________
What the future holds for one prominent poster
Gash and Kas, relaxing at home, suddenly hear the distant wail of sirens. As the open the door and peek outside, two police cars and an ambulance from a mental hospital pull up outside a house across the road.
The police go in first, and there is the sound of a struggle. Then follows a team from the mental hospital. The struggle continues, and hysterical laughter follows.
The group leaves, bringing in tow Ahnk, who laughs hysterics and shouts the names of assorted genetalia as loud as he can. Finally, he is dragged into the ambulance and silenced with a large dose of morphine.
Kas and Gash sigh.
"We should have seen that coming."
"I'm surprised he evaded capture for so long."
