So it turns out my memory is fine, as read from my tests, but one of my two memory strips is bad...

and I still have this ASUS I cant use!

meh...at least you are figuring out just what is wrong with yours. Took mine to the shop today after work and guess what...it worked perfectly. Took it back home and it's shutting itself off again. It's like it's not getting enough power when it's plugged in at home.

Unplug the stove and...

Melt your investment.

Consider purchasing a power conditioner.

Wha? A power Conditioner? I know of surge protectors and battery backups...but not a power coniditioner...