No, I lied.
From the "because no one asked for it" pile comes a bunch of mentally inferior, retarded, braindead, incompetant jackasses singing in painful falsettos and playing dumbshit 70's and 80's hair rock. Guess what guys, no one likes you, no one will ever like you. You are patently ugly individuals with no talent.
I don't think I've heard singing like Justin Hawkins' in ten years. Probably because its such patently awful showmanship drivel horseshit born from the bowls of musical hell.
I mean honestly, what the @#%$ were these guys thinking? Could there be a more mindless, poppy, conceited group of dog-sodomizers in all the world? I submit that there could not. Equipped with music plagiarized from a bygone era that occured before they were born, the best thing I can say about this motley crew of ugly motherfuckers is that what they create is almost like real music -- minus the intellect, intent, emotion, and artistic purpose.
You believe in a thing called love, do you? Do you believe in a thing called "drug induced suicide"? Try it out.
Motherfucking idiots.
They even had the audacity to bash the biggest band of our generation in a recent interview, Radiohead.
<blockquote><strong><em>Quote:</em></strong><hr>Guitarist Dan Hawkins told Netzeitung that Radiohead couldn't hold up to the stage antics of his brother Justin.
He said: "Most of these modern bands are so unbearably serious they leave me cold. Radiohead are totally boring.
"The world needs a showman like Justin who puts on his monkey outfit and entertains people. I haven't bought anything by these modern bands in a while. They're all wet rags."<hr></blockquote>
Wet rags? What the @#%$ does that even mean you uneducated, illiterate douchebag? What does any of that even mean? Stage antics? Way to go, your brother can cavort around onstage like a retard with Tourette's syndrome. In North America we lock people like that away, you dumb @#%$.
And yes, I must agree, we need more assholes in monkey outfits playing endless improvised runs on their electric guitars. Why, by donning such classy attire, you put yourself in such admirable company as the Bloodhound Gang! Yes! Now you have done it! Now all you need to do to be a real band is cut your ugly dumbass troglodyte hair, and stop making ugly dumbass troglodyte music. Shouldn't be too hard.
<blockquote><strong><em>Quote:</em></strong><hr>Hawkins added: "Bands like Radiohead are great for our business, of course, because there's been a total Radiohead-isation of the British music scene. Coldplay, Turin Brakes, Starsailor - all of these groups have put together their selection from the Radiohead menu."<hr></blockquote>
Yes! It is good to pan other bands for a lack of originality when your entire catalogue is drawn pretty much verbatim from two decades of tired hair bands! He assholes, there's a reason that people stopped making your kind of music -- it was never good in the first place. Once the world emerged from its drug-induced haze into the 90's it realized that it was time to try something new in music: "not sucking".
Seriously, how do kids get taken in by this sort of @#%$? Are they all completely @#%$ retarded or something? Or have they just listened to so much @#%$ that they now like it? It's like being held hostage in a world full of rubbish music. Now society is having Stockholm Syndrome.
Dan, the barely-sentient jerk-off pictured above, also says, "I always played along and practised to my favourite bands." Wow, isn't that nice? And now he has a chance to play the songs of those bands, renamed, to a crowd of screaming morons who don't know they're being duped! He adds, "I didn't have a girlfriend for a long time, you know." No really? You mean women don't find brainless drunks with long hair and high-pitched voices appealing? Damn!
On their official website biography, which is about fifty words long, because what is there to say about a bunch of high school dropouts in a put-together band, we read:
<blockquote><strong><em>Quote:</em></strong><hr>"Everyone's too uptight these days," reckons Frankie. "I hate the arrogance of bands who think their petty emotions are interesting. If you look at bands from 25 years ago, people have smiles on their faces. We're bringing a bit of that back."<hr></blockquote>
Oh yeah Frankie, is that what you reckon? Good boy Frankie, that's your one thought for the day, I'm glad you could squeeze it out. Now you can stare at a shiny object and drool for the next twelve hours! I mean, the man has a point. Imagine the audacity of putting emotion into art! That's just crazy talk! Turn up the distortion and play me another load of pentatonic @#%$ and have your buddy scream like a little girl in the background!
Shortly after criticizing Radiohead, evidently for making their music just a little too thought provoking and thus forcing them break through their drunken stupor, Dan The Man concluded:
<blockquote><strong><em>Quote:</em></strong><hr>"NME criticised us when we weren't successful. Now we're the biggest band in England and these s***s are making fools of themselves by trying to kiss our behinds."<hr></blockquote>
Yes! Yes Danny, you are the biggest band in England. No no, don't go and look at sales figures or anything. Hell, it doesn't matter how many records Radiohead sold -- you probably can't count past ten anyway. Bye now.
In conclusion, I must conclude that the Darkness suck. They suck, their (nonexistent) ideas suck, their music is a mish-mash of falsetto and recycled suck. There is nothing redeeming about them. I hope they die.
This Is A Thread About Hating The Darkness Because They Are An Ugly Bunch of Long-Haired British Losers With No Talent
From the "because no one asked for it" pile comes a bunch of mentally inferior, retarded, braindead, incompetant jackasses singing in painful falsettos and playing dumbshit 70's and 80's hair rock. Guess what guys, no one likes you, no one will ever like you. You are patently ugly individuals with no talent.
I don't think I've heard singing like Justin Hawkins' in ten years. Probably because its such patently awful showmanship drivel horseshit born from the bowls of musical hell.
<img border=0 src="http://www.thedarknessrock.com/images/biography/justin2.jpg" />
Justin Hawkins
Vocals/Guitar/Ugly
Ugliest person in history.
Justin Hawkins
Vocals/Guitar/Ugly
Ugliest person in history.
I mean honestly, what the @#%$ were these guys thinking? Could there be a more mindless, poppy, conceited group of dog-sodomizers in all the world? I submit that there could not. Equipped with music plagiarized from a bygone era that occured before they were born, the best thing I can say about this motley crew of ugly motherfuckers is that what they create is almost like real music -- minus the intellect, intent, emotion, and artistic purpose.
You believe in a thing called love, do you? Do you believe in a thing called "drug induced suicide"? Try it out.
Motherfucking idiots.
They even had the audacity to bash the biggest band of our generation in a recent interview, Radiohead.
<blockquote><strong><em>Quote:</em></strong><hr>Guitarist Dan Hawkins told Netzeitung that Radiohead couldn't hold up to the stage antics of his brother Justin.
He said: "Most of these modern bands are so unbearably serious they leave me cold. Radiohead are totally boring.
"The world needs a showman like Justin who puts on his monkey outfit and entertains people. I haven't bought anything by these modern bands in a while. They're all wet rags."<hr></blockquote>
Wet rags? What the @#%$ does that even mean you uneducated, illiterate douchebag? What does any of that even mean? Stage antics? Way to go, your brother can cavort around onstage like a retard with Tourette's syndrome. In North America we lock people like that away, you dumb @#%$.
And yes, I must agree, we need more assholes in monkey outfits playing endless improvised runs on their electric guitars. Why, by donning such classy attire, you put yourself in such admirable company as the Bloodhound Gang! Yes! Now you have done it! Now all you need to do to be a real band is cut your ugly dumbass troglodyte hair, and stop making ugly dumbass troglodyte music. Shouldn't be too hard.
<blockquote><strong><em>Quote:</em></strong><hr>Hawkins added: "Bands like Radiohead are great for our business, of course, because there's been a total Radiohead-isation of the British music scene. Coldplay, Turin Brakes, Starsailor - all of these groups have put together their selection from the Radiohead menu."<hr></blockquote>
Yes! It is good to pan other bands for a lack of originality when your entire catalogue is drawn pretty much verbatim from two decades of tired hair bands! He assholes, there's a reason that people stopped making your kind of music -- it was never good in the first place. Once the world emerged from its drug-induced haze into the 90's it realized that it was time to try something new in music: "not sucking".
<img border=0 src="http://www.thedarknessrock.com/images/biography/dan2.jpg" />
Dan Hawkins
Guitar
Maybe the booze makes his
music sound less like a piece
of @#%$. But I doubt it.
Dan Hawkins
Guitar
Maybe the booze makes his
music sound less like a piece
of @#%$. But I doubt it.
Seriously, how do kids get taken in by this sort of @#%$? Are they all completely @#%$ retarded or something? Or have they just listened to so much @#%$ that they now like it? It's like being held hostage in a world full of rubbish music. Now society is having Stockholm Syndrome.
Dan, the barely-sentient jerk-off pictured above, also says, "I always played along and practised to my favourite bands." Wow, isn't that nice? And now he has a chance to play the songs of those bands, renamed, to a crowd of screaming morons who don't know they're being duped! He adds, "I didn't have a girlfriend for a long time, you know." No really? You mean women don't find brainless drunks with long hair and high-pitched voices appealing? Damn!
On their official website biography, which is about fifty words long, because what is there to say about a bunch of high school dropouts in a put-together band, we read:
<blockquote><strong><em>Quote:</em></strong><hr>"Everyone's too uptight these days," reckons Frankie. "I hate the arrogance of bands who think their petty emotions are interesting. If you look at bands from 25 years ago, people have smiles on their faces. We're bringing a bit of that back."<hr></blockquote>
Oh yeah Frankie, is that what you reckon? Good boy Frankie, that's your one thought for the day, I'm glad you could squeeze it out. Now you can stare at a shiny object and drool for the next twelve hours! I mean, the man has a point. Imagine the audacity of putting emotion into art! That's just crazy talk! Turn up the distortion and play me another load of pentatonic @#%$ and have your buddy scream like a little girl in the background!
Shortly after criticizing Radiohead, evidently for making their music just a little too thought provoking and thus forcing them break through their drunken stupor, Dan The Man concluded:
<blockquote><strong><em>Quote:</em></strong><hr>"NME criticised us when we weren't successful. Now we're the biggest band in England and these s***s are making fools of themselves by trying to kiss our behinds."<hr></blockquote>
Yes! Yes Danny, you are the biggest band in England. No no, don't go and look at sales figures or anything. Hell, it doesn't matter how many records Radiohead sold -- you probably can't count past ten anyway. Bye now.
<img border=0 src="http://www.thedarknessrock.com/images/biography/frankie2.jpg" />
Frankie Poullain
Bass
Frankie was too cool for school.
That's why he dropped out and
started sodomizing animals for
a living.
Frankie Poullain
Bass
Frankie was too cool for school.
That's why he dropped out and
started sodomizing animals for
a living.
In conclusion, I must conclude that the Darkness suck. They suck, their (nonexistent) ideas suck, their music is a mish-mash of falsetto and recycled suck. There is nothing redeeming about them. I hope they die.
<img border=0 src="http://www.thedarknessrock.com/images/biography/ed2.jpg" />
Ed Graham
Drums
I am the obligatory obese goth!
Ed Graham
Drums
I am the obligatory obese goth!
