Are YOU a suburban teenager? If so, Jimmy Eat World is a bad band from a bad place that sucks. You will like them. They sing songs with lyrics that speak directly to the most important thing in your life, besides deciding what kind of SUV your parents are going to buy for your 17th birthday: YOU! They know that living life as an affluent, white, happy teenager in the suburbs of America is not very easy, no not at all! And because these fine sirs have never experienced any sort of quantifiable pain themselves, they are more than willing to make some artless emo bullshit to help you through your imaginary crises. This music is in fact so desperately friendly it is not only anti-rock and roll, but anti-art. It is a monster. It is evil. The people who are promoting this sort of shit are corporate pigs and they are strangling art and creativity. But don't worry, you don't have to think about that kind of thing because these guys have all the social awareness of a fetus. They just want to be your friend and hang out with you and your mom.

Pigs.

Kill Jimmy Eat World. So lame they might as well be Christian rock.