Just the good ones...

In the memo field of all your checks, write; "For Smuggling Diamonds."

Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance with The Prophecy."

Sing along at the Opera.

When the money comes out of the ATM, scream; "I Won! I Won!"

...but...I do those things anyway?

Ha, once long ago the elder sister of a friend of mine bought pot with a check. And wrote "for pot" in the memo field.

When ordering at a resturant ask for "A broiled baby, crispy, with a warm bowl of hair".

I did this, inspired by the interweb, and recieved (amongst other things) a firm berating and a strange look. And no baby or bowl of hair.

That's nasty. Everyone knows you're supposed to remove the hair completely first.

I prefer mine to be roasted myself...