There are two things nearly every guy on every internet message board has in common. These two things are as follows:
A fundamental, unshakable belief that they are an extremely "unique" person even moreso than others.
A personality almost exactly matching every other internet message board user.
As you read this, you are likely nodding your head and thinking of how true it is; how the people you have met fit into this category and how it has frustrated you, the lone individualist. Stop it. You are one of them too.
Still not sure? Ask yourself this:
Do girls typically refer to you as a "nice guy" and a "good friend"?
Do you suffer from chronic shyness?
Do you think of yourself as a smartass beneath all of that "niceness" and "shyness", even though you do nothing to warrant this title in real life?
Do you avoid drugs and alcohol and typify those who do not as losers even though the reason you avoid them is fear, not morality?
Do you think of yourself as a depressed person although you do not actually suffer from depression and seldom if ever act depressed except for when you actively choose to?
Do you perceive your abilities in your chosen art form
(s) -- including but not limited to writing, painting, art, poetry or music -- to be superior, although you seldom receive actual accolades for these things in real life?
Do you post stupid, ridiculous, retarded bullshit on message boards and refer to it as "randomness" to demonstrate what a "silly", "fun", "impulsive" guy you are?
Do you consider yourself a "deep thinker" and believe that others are not, even though you are utterly uneducated and have derived all your "views" from either your parents or some other equally bullshit source, incorporating them into an unsophisticated ad-hoc philosophy about as cohesive as dust in the wind?
Do you purport to be a modern, liberal person yet still think of your life in mundane conservative terms and perpetually stress tradition because you are a stupid, hypocritical ass?
Do you find yourself constantly telling people that you are searching for "true love" and convincing yourself that such a thing actually exists, though in actual fact you think of women as sexual objects?
(Piggy.)
Do you consider yourself a romantic because you want a wife, three kids and a white picket fence, oh child of the suburbs?
Do you purport to be "cynical" yet in fact hold extremely silly, idealistic views that you constantly espouse because you are a drooling child still living in the world of adolescent tantrum?
Even if not all of these things apply directly to you, chances are that a number of them do. Don't worry, you'll probably develop the rest as time goes on.
Although the list implies in a way one should feel regretful or depressed about this sorry state of mental affairs to be in, at the same time it sternly warns that that sort of attitude is discouraged. It would, in fact, take a long time to figure out the suitible course of action based on this information, and yet in the way it is constructed it also implies that if you fall into this category you will not come up with one anyways as you will either disregard the information and scorn it, or misinterpret it in your own favour.
Still, very interesting. And at first I suspected such a list might be created for female internet users, but to be quite frank they're a relativly small minority and so I doubt many people have gathered enough information on any abberant behaviour they might exhibit to write such a list.
Yes No I am a bit of a smartass IRL, and people have told me so. Doesn't apply No Yeah and I do random crap IRL all the time too. Loaded question. Loaded question. No. No. No.
