That's right, kids! It's time for another contest, and this time, it's gonna be a fun one!

You read it correctly; the game is to write the most hilarious, brutal, verbally abusive review of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez's awful new drama/comedy/unadulterated suffering film, 'Gigli'!

Haven't seen the movie? No problem! Don't inflict that kind of torture on yourself! Just crib the plot and basic performances from reviews featured HERE (link) and have a go at it!

The winner gets their name featured at the top of the board and the glory of knowing they insulted Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez to the point of absurdity! Begin!

Before I launch into a speel on it, let me make sure everyone reads these words: GIGLI IS THE WORST MOVIE EVER.

Now that that's over...

Firstly, before anyone goes out to see this movie on the basis of learning yet more about the vaunted "Bennifer" love affair, don't bother. These two have about as much chemistry as a baby kitten and a rottweiler, and approximately the same capacity for acting. Bearing in mind that this movie is what spawned that ultra-expensive relationship, I would hope that Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez have a damn good prenuptual agreement.

I would equate the experience of viewing Gigli with being shot in the face -- except that I would imagine that the suffering inflicted by being shot in the face ends rather abruptly by the merciful release of death. There is no merciful release here, but don't think you won't be praying for death. There is absolutely no reason to see this movie. The plot is wafer-thin and roughly as dry, the dialogue is cheesy and moronic, and the acting is trash (as you might expect).

Now, it's not just that the movie is badly directed or ruined by the "acting" of Ben & Jen. The script itself is so utterly and completely awful that it's difficult to imagine anyone reading it and not throwing up all over themselves. But our two lovebirds wiped the vomit off and dove in headlong.

The presence of Oscar winners Al Pacino and Christopher Walkin is even more inexplicable. Were they forced at gunpoint to be in this movie? Drugged? I don't know, but I suspect foul play.

Raunchy conversations and love scene so stupid that it is physically painful round out a thoroughly dreadful movie-going experience. Gigli is proof that there is no god: if there were, it simply would not be allowed to exist.

Avoid.

If you see one movie this year...


... and this is the movie you see ....


Do yourself a favor and ask someone to shoot you with a large projectile weapon.

Multiple times.

That is all.

It had me on the edge of my seat! But only because I didn't want to puke all over my pants...these are good pants, you know...

So bad it makes Gash Jiren look good.

And Isstal wins!

So Good even the directors seen worse

I just gave them twenty bucks and asked them to hit me in the balls with a metal base ball bat for two hours.